Going back to work tips for busy mother's of infants and preschoolers?

Question

I'll be returning to work for the upcoming school year and am feeling overwhelmed with picking up and dropping off my baby at my in-law's and my big girl at preschool. Not to mention the pick up. (my MIL doesn't like for me to just pick up and scram) I feel as though I'll never get home, to get dinner started and then the bedtime routine started. Not to mention anything else. Meanwhile, my DH just strolls in from work. ( He has later/earlier hours than I and a longer, commute in traffic is the reason he doesn't do the pick up drop off thing.....)

How do we divide the chores? I'm rambling, it is because I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Answer 1

can your husband pick up at his mom's house?  let him visit with her and help with the pick up routine.  if he gets home before you, let him start dinner.  also, cook in volume.  if you're doing spaghetti and chili, cook the meat all at once.  plan menus so that you can do this.  i use to work 2 jobs, go to college nights and weekends and had my daughter to raise.  i did all the meat prep cooking on sunday (only day off).  that way the meat was all cooked for the week.  i also used the crock pot (slow cooker) a lot.

i know it's a lot, but plan and prepare.  and let husband pick up at his mom's.

Answer 2

Whoa--sounds tough.

OK, so the first thing I'm going to tell you to do, and this might sound lame, but make sure you're taking full and deep breaths in the midst of all the chaos. =)

When you drop off your kids try taking them earlier so that you can stay and chat for 5 minutes with your MIL and not be late for anything. Then do the same for the pick-up. Keep yourself on your toes when you pick them up. What I mean is that when you come inside don't make yourself too comfortable making your MIL want to talk for longer. Stay standing and get your kids together right away then ask about how things went, what they did, how she (your MIL) is, etc. Just keep it to small talk that lasts about  minutes. Then tell her thanks and leave. She shouldn't have to feel any scram after that. ;)

I don't know when you start or end work so I can't recommend any exact times or what-not. But anyway I hope I help with that.

Now about dividing chores have your hubby if he leaves later than you in the morning but gets home earlier see if he can get things started for you. Such as:

1. Before he leaves for work make it his chore to set things that need to be set later ahead of time. That could be the table for eating later, any of the kids' activities at home, or their clothes, etc...

2. When he comes home have him get the kids pj's ready as well as anything else they need.

Well, I hope I helped!

And good luck busy mom!

----Sarah

Answer 3

The first thing to do is to step back and look at the whole picture.  Make a list if you need to...of everything that needs to be done.  

* What time are you going to need to leave to get everyone in their place without rushing.  

* Have everything ready to go the night before...I'm serious.  I don't care how late it is at night...do it.  Because you won't have time in the morning ...and having a smooth running morning will help the whole day go well.  

* Have the preschoolers clothes out and in or by the bathroom so that she wakes up, goes potty, and gets dressed.  Set the routine...start it now so that it's a "habit" by school year. Then straight to the breakfast table.  If you give choices...have her choose the night before and have it ready to go.  No changes.  Have a set time when she needs to be done from the table...no changes...be firm about it.  Look into Love and Logic for some reassurance about this type of thing.  :-)

* have the diaper bag at the door ready to go...or better yet...have the extra supplies at the mother-in-laws.

* have a chat with the mother-in-law that your evenings are very busy and you need to stay on schedule.  You will have 5-10 minutes to chat and then you must be going.  And heed to it.  Your sanity is more important.  Maybe pick a time on the weekend to spend more time with the in-laws.  If possible...pick up your preschooler last so that grandma doesn't feel left out when you leave your preschooler in the car...because precious time goes by very quickly when the preschool and grandma are chatting.  :-)  If you can't...then suggest that Grandma go out and chat with the preschooler while you get the baby ready to go home.  That gives the a little bonding time.

* use the CROCKPOT :-)  Plan ahead...it's deciding what to have for supper that takes more of my time.  Plan a menu if it helps you.  Prepare frozen meals on the weekend.  

* Our dear husbands give us all a little problem...they don't always see what needs to be done...and it's better to lay it all out before you get overwhelmed and angry...otherwise you have another problem to deal with.  :-)  Since he leaves earlier than you...he can't really get the children ready for the day and since he gets home later than you ...he can't help with supper...so maybe he can get the kids ready for bed while you finish up supper.   One thing my husband often tells me...is that I work all day too...:-)  Yeah, we need to remember that...I find the best thing to do is exchange days on who is going to do the dishes...maybe you want to do a switchout of who does the dishes and the other gets the kids ready for bed.  

* Write down everything chore you think needs to be done...on a daily basis...on a weekly basis... sit with your husband and let him help decide how to divide it....maybe your husband doesn't mind doing a certain chore that you hate.  Maybe vice versa...we can't tell you exactly what will work for you as a couple.

* Remember that you and your husband both need "me" time.  Whether it is to read a book...go to the library... go for a run...etc...and to be truthful...you need to schedule it in.  That's just the way it is.  

Good luck!