Going to be 15 soon and it's about friends and parents please read?

Question

It's about my age, im going to be 15 in 16 days.

my parents are very overprotective and ALWAYS have said no if i ask them if i could go to a cinema with friends, go over to a friends house, or shopping with them.

I am a very good child, and does always listen to my parents and do the house chores. I have good grades at school and the teachers are very pleased with me and my work. Im just wondering, why do they do this? Im deaf but I am always making sure that while crossing the road, check if there's any car etc etc. I can hear very well with my cochlear implant (hearling aids)

Im always upset about this because i only talk to my friends at school and only on msn. My friends always meet up and it makes me so jealous. I feel left out too much. It's just something i am not happy with.

Many many many times i have talked to them and tried conviencing them to let me go out but you know the answer 'NO'. Simple as.

My parents are indian.

p.s my brother is 20 and he does go out.

Answer 1

Well babe is sounds like to me that your parents love you very much and are just trying to protect you like you said..maybe the reason you are such a good kid and are doing so well in class and do your chores is because you dont go out with them. You have no idea what goes on when they meet up, they could be stealing, doing things with boys they shouldnt be, smoking cigs or drugs, drinking alcohol...you never know what they do or what they have done or want you to do with them if you go out with them, and it might not be your friends doing it, they could hang around people who do and thats what your parents are afraid of. They know you are a special girl and they want you to be as good as you can without the influences of other kids and people you may meet out somewhere. Your brother is an adult now, and Im sure they will have to let you do what you wanna do when you become an adult...believe my you are not missing out on too much. You just keep making good grades to get into a good college and you will be a successful young women. My dad was just as strict growing up in HS and i hated it, but now I know he kept me out of trouble and none of the stuff I could have done back them will even matter now, unless I had s*x and got pregnant, which I didnt even have a chance to do cause I never went out and put myself in those situations...so it all worked out for the best. They just wanna keep you pure and innocent and theirs until your an adult and leave them, then they wont have any little girl to take care of anymore...Trust me you will make it through just fine! And you never know if you continue to be good then they may let you once you turn 17 ya never know, but you have to keep their trust or you may never go out again. haha

Good Luck Sweety

Answer 2

I would just confront your parents and say "Listen. Mom and Dad i love you and i know you are jsut trying to protect me and keep me safe but I dont want to be friendless. I always feel so left out and I do good in school and do practically everything you want me to do!! Please!" If they still say no give yourself a few minutes to calm down.. ask them y u cant. if they say becuase. then say well thats not fair. Wat ever u dont DONT explode at them!!!  

Answer 3

they are being a little bit unfair to be totally honest with you. you need to have a long chat with them, say, your 15 and entitled to your own freedom and privacy, although, your hindu? i think anyway, they are strict with the rules, and you must not obey them, but really, please talk to them, deafness has absolutely nothing to do with it. im deaf and i still love how life is going for me! dont let this upset you :] talk to them as soon as possible, don't ask them, just talk. good luck.  

Answer 4

ur parents are like mine but mine are not indian there english but i cant go out if they dont no them and they do it as they realli care about u and they mean all well and u should tell them how you feel

good luck with it all

x

Answer 5

well im indian as well...n my parents are over protective as well...but what i do is, whenever i go out, as soon as i meet my friends up or whatever, i give my mum a call and tell her that im with them, and when i leave to come back home, i give her a ring and when i get on the bus i give her a ring..lol...i probably call her like 10 times a day! lol so she knows im safe =]...just give it a bit of time, and everythin will be fine! indian parents are always like that!

Answer 6

Sounds like they are thinking you might not understand how things work in the world due to your hearing problems but seems to me you are very bright. maybe to test the waters out they might let your older brother take you and a Friend to watch a movie and let him report back how well you did. They should at least let your Friends come over to your house. sit down and explain how these things make you feel and how you think this isn't helping prepare you for the REAL world which you will be out in on your own in a few short years. Good luck.

Answer 7

My parents were the same way. I could never go anywhere unless there was a parent around. Around 16-17 I started to rebel and I would just go do stuff anyways, or say I was doing something else. I do not suggest doing that, but being so sheltered is not good either.

I imagine your parent's may be worried about you because you are a girl, and you are deaf. I'm sure they want to protect you but I think you should try to explain to them that you really want to get out and hang out with people. If they don't let you get your point across while speaking to them, try writing them a letter. Don't argue with them in the letter, just simply state the facts. That you are going to be 16, you are a good student and a good kid. You want to be able to hang out with friends outside of school and when they are always telling you NO it makes you feel sad, angry...etc.

Try to level with them and understand where they are coming from. Don't say things like "Susie always gets to go out, or my brother can go out." To parents those are irrelavent arguments. Make it very subjective and truly tell them how you feel.

Maybe try suggesting that they meet your friends and allow you to goto the mall for just a couple of hours and see how it goes.

Sometimes parents need to be eased into these sorts of things. Don't expect them to let you spend an entire weekend at a friends house right off the bat. Start it slow and give them a little space to get used to it too. Slowly it should get easier.

Good luck!!

Answer 8

Your parents are just trying to protect you. But in this day, too much is wrong. Have a word with a family member( auntie, cousin) who you know does have a social life, and see if they can fight your corner! Your teacher at school may be able to help you, have a chat with them. Above all, make sure you let them know that you are responsible, and will let them know who you are with, and where you are going. Make sure you are ALWAYS truthful with them. If you think they may disapprove, don't do it. I had hearing problems, and wore big brown NHS hearing aids, and I have survived! I have made it to 32, with 4 kids and a husband! My daughter is 13 next month and as long as I know where she is, I allow her freedom. To over protect a child is to expose them to hidden dangers. You have to be street wise to survive nowadays, and the sooner you learn that the better. Please feel free to leave this response on the computer, so your parents can read it. It may help them understand how lonely you are. Maybe they don't understand how hard it is fitting in, having impaired hearing, my heart goes out to you. Love and Best wishes, Sue x

Answer 9

its because they love you, thats the only reason and some parents show it in a mean type of way.. well to you its mean, write them a letter and set it somewhere easy for them to find and just write down anything that is on your mind that way they see it and arent just hearing it include how you feel about it and include that you are becoming an adult now and need to know how to do things on your own. tell them you understand there will be rules and curfews that you will abide by but you really just need to hand out with some friends. its an important part of being a teen. i wish i could have gotten out more as well but was raising my brother and sister. but sometimes writing it down on paper is easier for you to say things and easier for them to see your point of view as well but the reason is they just love you and dont want to see you hurt in any shape way or form. good luck to you

Answer 10

Let me tell you, I was done the same exact way when I was little. In their own "controlling" way they are just trying to protect you. But by doing it that way all they are doing is smothering you and make you feel so bad when you've done nothing. Maybe they feel that you need the protection. But all you can do is keep on telling and showing them that you are a responsible person and you are only going to go out w/friends in a group and not go out of that group. Things are very different for girls than they are for boys. That sounds sexist I know but being a female that has went through too many unwanted things I can understand now why parents are overprotective w/ their daughters. Have you tried sitting w/ them and asking why they continue to be that way or what could be done to make them feel better about you going anywhere? Maybe just getting baby steps will help. Like staying after school for a project. Or some kind of community service for a church with friends as long as it is supervised. That might help them to learn to loosen up a bit.  

Answer 11

Poor you, your parents are over protective of you because of your hearing, but whats stopping you asking to have your friends around once a week, then they can get to know them and trust you in their care?

Answer 12

they do it becasue they feel that is what is best for you....and best becasue you are deaf they are more worried. i don;t no what to do other than both you and your brother convinece them, by going to the movies with your borther and have him tell them that you are responsible and should be trusted

Good luck

Answer 13

If I am NOT mistaken your culture is very Protective of its Women (is that correct?)  Besides that,, with you being deaf (even though you do have the cochlear implant)  your parents are worried about you.  BUT I do understand where you are coming from, you are a teenager who wants to hang out with her friends. Instead of always asking to GO OUT with your friends, how about having your friends COME OVER to your house?  That way your parents can meet them and get to know who you would be with and that would make them MORE comfortable when you went out.   That is how I am...if I don't know the kids my kids want to hang out with then they can't go...Fortunately my kids friends all pretty much grew up at our house and my kids at their houses therefore they have quite a bit of freedom...as a matter of fact my 13 year old daughter Taylor is going to Lake Tahoe (California/Nevada Border) for a 4 day vacation with her friend Jessicas Family... I have known them all for Years!  And I feel comfortable knowing who she will be with.~~Aloha and Blessings~~Michelle~~