Gold digging mother in law from h**l. What to do

Question

Here is the situation. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and when we first met he asked me to loan him 400 dollars. Naturally I wanted to know what for and he said his mother was in a rough spot and needed help with her rent. And it has gone on from there. I am talking 20.00 because she needs to get her nail fixed. Naturally I am like no. And now she doesnt have a car because and she expects us to run her around all ove the place but when i met her and her son no one had a car and everyine getting by in the bus. I do not want to seem like a heartless ***** but i feel like she wont do better for hersefl becuase she expects other people to come to her rescue and frankly I am tired of it. And I feel like saying that is my car and your family needs to get around the best way they know how. I know this is wrong. how should I handle this situation. I feel like his family is a burden and it makes me wish I lived thousands of miles away. On top of that his brother always wants to come over and stay in the house for days and days just laying up watching tv. I am becoming so annoyed and more so now because it just started happwning like 2 months ago. Any advice is welcome

Answer 1

First of all is this a boyfriend or a husband?  If it's your boyfriend you have to have a heart to heart talk with him and feel him out as far as what he expects of you and if it is that he see's nothing wrong with his family using you then you need to move on.  Now if he is your husband and this is a Mother In Law you need to tell him that you will not be a door mat for his family, Mother or brother, and that if he does not comply with your wishes tell him that you will voice your opinion and do it, then you do not cave in when they want to use your car etc...If your husband doesn't side with you then you really need to have a talk with him about this and see where it will take you.  Noone should be in any kind of a relationship where you are being used for your hard earned money and the vehichle that you are keeping up.  They got along fine without it before so stop worrying about them and take care of yourself.  Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

First off, you need to have a talk with your bf.  Tell him that neither of you are helping either his mom or bro when you bail them out.  You are enabling them both & in effect, are disrespecting both them & yourselves.    You need to both be on the same page & next time either of them wants something, you need to tell them you care about them & yourselves so much that you cannot continue to disrespect all of you by giving of resources you don't have & robbing them of their pride in doing for themselves.  You then both need to stick to your guns.  His mom/brother will probably be ticked off but you can't let that sway you.  If bf won't get on same page, or agrees w/you but then doesn't follow through & stand firm, you need to RUN as fast as you can unless this is what you want for the rest of your life.  There's nothing wrong w/helping ONCE IN A WHILE if its what you choose to do, or hanging out once in awhile (set your own boundaries here how often/when), but never out of guilt.  Good luck!!

Answer 3

You happen to be right and you know it !!

    You are his gf and owe them nothing, nor is it heartless or wrong. Have a talk with your bf and tell him this "all" of it needs to stop, that they are using and abusing you and need to fend or work for themselves, it is not your responsibility and their "are" adults, tell him there will be no more loans, you work hard for your money and expect other to do the same, you don't support your own relatives and friends, nor will you support anyone else's.

      Tell him public transportation is there for a reason and that gas, maintanence and insurance are much more costly than the bus. Nor have they even offered to pay towards any of it.

    Tell him it is affecting you badly and will eventually cause relationship problems.

     They need to stop living off you and go back to the way they survived before you arrived.

      Nor is there any need for his brother to be there doing as he is, he has his own home for a reason and is welcome to visit when the bf's home.

      They are taking advantage of you, and being abusive.

       One can only be walked on, if "they" allow it.....don't....or this will only be the beginning!!

      You need to settle this before the relationship can go any futher, it's best to know what your getting into before hand.

Answer 4

Girlfriend, you need to tell ya man's family to get the **** your tired of them taking advantage of you, you gotta do what you gotta do, you should've been opened ya mouth, I wish you all the best!

Answer 5

Stop giving her the money.  For he is only your boyfriend.  Kick his brother out as well.  You don't have to stay in that relationship,  if you were married it may be different.  You are not obligated to do anything for his family  

Answer 6

You need to talk to your BF and get him on the same page... you two will not ever have any financial stability with these two mooches around.

Quit being available. Quit being user-friendly.

Block their phone calls, use the caller ID feature/answering machine to screen their calls.

If the brother has keys to the house, you need to change the locks and install an alarm system.

If either one shows up asking for money, tell them that you had some unexpected expenses this month and you are sorry that you have nothing to give them. Get used to using this line.

Answer 7

YOU are not responsible for his family's problems.  Tell the whole pile of them to get a life*