Golfers, how do I tell my friend to speed the h**l up??!?

Question

My good friend is so slow on the course(always in la-la land or never ready) I have almost decided to quit golfing before I bury my putter in his head.

How do I get him to speed up with hurting his feelings??

Answer 1

you could always drive off with out him.  maybe then he would get the picture.

Answer 2

You haven't told us how long he takes.

If he is a very good player then you would expect him to take his time.

What is your handicap? Are you faster than most people.

If he is really taking ages then bring it out in a joke to him. Something like, "My nan plays faster than us"

Tell him were playing slow. Not him, so then he might see that your slow and this will make him speed up.

Tell the course ranger that he plays slow and you just want him to keep an eye on him, and if he really is slow and holding people up then he will tell him.

It could be that your playing too fast for him.

Answer 3

Forget about his bloody feelings.  He has a responsibility to play without undue delay.

You need to explain to him the concept of ready golf, and keeping an appropriate pace of play.  Be willing to go into specifics; he may not realise what he's doing.

Forget about his feelings; think about the feelings of the group in back of you.

Answer 4

Tell him... "the quicker we get off the course, the quicker we get to the strip club". If that doesn't motivate him, find a new golf partner.

Answer 5

I know how annoying this is. I try to remind my playing partner that there are others behind us, recommend that he play from shorter tees and let faster groups pass...This seemed to mess with his ego a bit and he eventually got the message...

on a side not, the guy has plenty of money and wants to spend 5 minutes a hole looking in the woods for golf balls! How annoying is that when you share a cart?!?!?!

Answer 6

Take even longer!  

Answer 7

I'd go passive aggressive....    Take your time,  line up your putt four ways...   clean your clubhead before every swing...    do the waggle...      etc etc...   if that fails,  bury your putter in  his head!!

Answer 8

well all the other suggestions are pretty good but here is one more:

on most courses the scorecard tells you how long each hole should take. You may try telling him things such as...

"wow it took us 8 minutes longer than we're allowed for this hole"

or

"we should be on the 8th hole according to our time"

you can also try the..

"hey, if we don't hurry up i think the going to make us skip the next hole"

"um, i think the group behind us is frustrated, lets try and hurry up"

good luck with whatever you decide

Answer 9

It's always tough to tell your clueless friend something that potentially can get you into arguments with him.  Try telling him nicely that people behind you are getting impatient, or that you need to be at another place after the game is done, or that if the game takes 5 hours, instead of 4 you may not be able to play as often, etc.

I have a friend who once responded: I am relaxing here, it's Sunday, and I am out enjoying the view.  To which I responded, fine, if you want to take a stroll, we should finish the game first, and then you can come back later when you won't be bothering other people.

If all else fails, get the course marshall to keep an eye on him.  Before you tee off, tell the marshall that you would like his help speed things up.

Answer 10

Never mind his feelings. If the guy is a poke, get him to keep up with the pack and if he does not tell him he is no longer welcome because he is not observing the etiquette of the game. If one does not observe the etiquette he should get to h**l off the course. Get him a copy of the Rules of Golf and have him memorise Section 1.

Answer 11

Tell him you didn't get much sleep the night before so now you can take some cat naps while waiting on him. Insist on hitting your ball first.

Answer 12

Start calling him Sergio or any other slower paced player, or start snooreing another thing you can do is get to the course early and ask the Marshall to keep an eye on your group when you start falling behind the pace of play he can roll up to your buddy and tell him to speed up as he's been watching him and his pace of play is to SLOW!!!!!!!

Start looking for a replacement as I hate slow players