Good critique please book!!! What do you guys honestly feel about my book?

Question

I want some good Constructive criticism. Tell me what you think and be brutally honest. Change anything, words, etc. let me know. I want you to be honest! Honest means be respectful but honest all the same. Thank you so much.

Here is the link: www.lulu.com/content/3698568

Answer 1

Dude your link doesnt work. But I will critique this question. A TOTAL WASTE OF POINTS! but attleast I get something out of it!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

ppl help me plz

Answer 2

Honestly, not brilliant. No better than any other self-published book I've seen.

It's poorly written; there's too many repetitive words, too much use of 'said', and the dialogue sounds wooden, actually most of the book sounds wooden.

It's not a good idea to actually use the word 'flashback' as an indication of one, try writing the relevant paragraphs in italics instead.

I also spotted a few typos, which is why it's a good idea to have a proof reader. For example; on page twenty-three, Jesse's name changes to Jamie in two of the sentences.

On page thirty-two the story somehow continues after the narrator has left the room in which the action takes place.

Sorry, I'm not going to read any more of it. I just don't think it's good enough.