Good poem, bad poem?

Question

My head bashes against the wall. My hands shake and I slap myself. My cheeks are red from the slaps and from the blood that runs down my face. So tired, but can't sleep when he's on my mind. I fake a smile when he walks to the other girl, not noticing the pain in my eyes, or the tears running down, smearing my make-up. Why try, try to look pretty when he has the other girl? One after another, but never me, the loser, the one he can't love...won't love? Next girl, next heart broken--my last one....gone. To much pain, to many tears to gain. I mean this in vain. Hands shaking, heart aching, loaded gun, head or heart? Head-my heart wouldn't hurt, it's already broken and dead. Blood and tears, life fears, family, love, I have none. Pull gently and slow then I wake. Pull myself up and see the blood, my blood, on the wall, from my head. He's not worth the pain, so much more I can gain. No more head bleeding, new hearts seeding, but dies, no more should I give cries for help. He's just another boy and he's not worth it.

Answer 1

like wow, it is good.

but it doesnt flow AT ALL.

and no offense but it is kinda gory,

like maybe just a tiny bit less gory,

and let it flow a little better, it would be like

REALLY good.

but otherwise its amazing.

:)

Answer 2

Can I offer you a Valium and a nice lie-down. ?

Answer 3

that is really good i liked it a lot

Answer 4

nice ending.

i like it (:

Answer 5

The first half read a little more like a short story. But, overall I think you did a good job. It was very graphic, but kept me interested!

Answer 6

'he is not worth it'-an excellent ending--it is touching my sentiments-it has good moral too-for those in teens and understand the inner thought of this GOOD..V.GOOD POEM.hats off to you and u r poem.

Answer 7

grate poem  

Answer 8

I don't really like it

but its just sort of discombobulated  

It has potential though I like the idea

it just needs to flow a little better