Good poem or not? please tell me?

Question

I wish summer would stay forever but i know it will never. I wish summer would stay all year as i listen to the birds chirping in my ear. With you summer i dont have to go to school and i can play in the pool. Summer please stay and give me more time to sing and play. Someday i want it to be summer everyday!!

I just want to write a short poem. Tell me if this is good.

Answer 1

Rose, it's okay.  Don't stop if people don't like your work.  Don't stop if people are cruel.

I like it.  I want to say a couple things though.

Poetry is more about the rythm and less about the rhyme.  Rhyming can get in the way if it does not move the verse along.  Look at the work of Robert Frost, Maya Angelou, Emily Dickenson, Sylvia Plath, etc.  See what they do with the words.

Sometimes, the simplest poems are the best.  Here's one I love

An epitaph on a waiter

By and by

God caught his eye.

It's simple and to the point, but says so much in so few words.  That's poetry.  Think of poetry as pregnant words.  That's just a metaphor to say the words contain more than they at first appear to contain.

Keep writing, please.  Keep trying.  And never, NEVER throw anything you've written away.  You never know when you will say something that will be the best way to say it, or may lead you to something greater.

Thanks for sharing.

Answer 2

It's pretty good. As i was reading, I could imagine all the things you were describing. But I think it needs more rhythm because it is a rhyming poem.

plz answer

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Answer 3

Very to the piont, but overall it is nice!

Answer 4

You painted, with words,

vivid reasons why you

don't want summer to end.

I liked the play on words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhL6PcxeJ...