Good punishment for a 15 year old?

Question

I have a rather childish 15 year old daughter who has been having a serious problem with backtalk lately. My wife's friend recommended that we bring back the timeout chair. My wife loves this idea, she bought an old chair and had our whole family including our daughter and her younger siblings get together and "decorate" the chair for her. Personally I think this might be a little too much humiliation for her, but it actually seems to be working so far. What do you think? too much humiliation?

Answer 1

Humiliation works - in the short run.  Think about it this way - do you like to be humiliated?

First, you need to uncover what is causing the backtalk.  Stress?  Lack of parental authority (which is respectful, not humiliating)?  A problem at school?

Next, you need to have a talk with your child and tell her that there will be no response to backtalk from now on.

Explain how much it hurts you.  Ask her if you are hurting her.

Take action according to how she needs to be respected, not humiliated.

Answer 2

This sounds a little childish.  Try taking away some privileges like cell phone, computer, hanging out with friends, etc.  Also, why would you decorate a chair for punishment?????

Answer 3

Stop feeding her....she'll smarten up in 2days.

;)

Answer 4

Haha, if anything you're being too soft. When I back-talked my mom when I was a teenager, she slapped me across the face...It took all of 5 seconds for me to learn my place. Thats how we do it in the country :)

And the "child abuse" hasn't destroyed my life or anything lol

Answer 5

well i'm going to assume you don't spank her. and she's one of those "i don't care kids" and you are now in the send her to a covent stage well you might want to restrict everything and leave her with a area of apprection because earning stuff back might help but if you do spank her now it's to late

and to quote igor from frankinstein you've created a monster and she might not change at all

Answer 6

Tell her only respectful girls get their learners permit otherwise public transportation will be the only way she gets around. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

It does seem a little on the childish side, but if it's working, then go for it.  It's better than yelling and so forth. My daughter is only seven, so I haven't gotten to that point yet.  I wish that I had a better alternative other than taking away her TV.  That just kills them.

Answer 8

A time out chair, which is rather humerous for adults, is very degrating for a teenager and will never build a relationship that she is longing to have with you. Putting her in time out or sending her to her room tells her you don't want to deal with her. I know it's hard to see but her back talking is her way of pleading for help. Do you and your wife spend a lot of quality time with her? Is she comfortable to go to you and talk one on one? If you think you might be lacking in any of these areas then you need to start giving her more of your love and attention. I moved in with my boyfriend when I was 16. My mom and I always butted heads. I was grounded for 2 years because she didn't know what else to do with me. Honestly, I desired to have a relationship with her and being the immature teen that I was I didn't know how to express my strong emotions so I left home. Don't let this happen to your little girl. I'm 24 now and very close to my mom but it took a long time to heal what could have been prevented.

Answer 9

wrestle was a bit drastic but yeah -.- thats seriously low...only thing that could make that worse is...well nevermind..how old are her siblings..but anyways please try something else thats seriously low..

and h**l -.- if my folks kick me out ill just live with a friend lol..(also a 15 yr old :P trust me you didnt take away anything theres a million ways for everything ^^)

Answer 10

oh yeah! that will work and if u put her on it while her friends are over it will stop for good!

Answer 11

What kind of d**k are you?  Of course thats too much humiliation.  Including her siblings in the decoration?

You better hope she never writes a book.

Answer 12

Obviously she hasn't been disciplined...Disciplined children don't need to be punished.  Your daughter is going through puberty, it is quite normal for teens of this age to back talk.  Maybe if your wife focused on the positive behaviors of your daughter and praised her for them and gave them attention your daughter wouldn't be acting out.  Obviously your family gives far more attention to negative behavior so quite naturally your daughter is going to behave in the negative.

Answer 13

It sounds like a little humiliation is exactly what she needs. Go for it- that's a really clever idea! Just make sure she has nothing to entertain her while she's there.

Answer 14

Maybe a little. But if its working! Its not going to ruin her for life...wondering what she did to deserve that though! Just backtalk? thats a 15 year old for you ..If I was her I probally wouldnt obey beacuse thats so messed up!

Answer 15

Start Homeboot camp ASAP -

I wrote an article about it. Read it and follow it. You have my word it will work or at least let her see you are serious when say you what you mean.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

Answer 16

Well i suppose you slap her till she listens then if that doesnt work kick her out of the house till she promises to behave

Answer 17

A time-out chair is definitely not a good idea for a fifteen year old girl.  If you treat her like a child then she will continue to act like one!  Take away some of her privileges instead of doing the old 'time-out' procedure.

Answer 18

yes, people say take away privileges such as computer, video games, rights to go out, phone, stuff they like, for whatever time period seems necessary, that way they will be more likely not to do it. teens like their privileges, they make them feel more adult.

Answer 19

Instead of doing that, don't let her hang out with her friends for a week.

Answer 20

Sounds like going the wrong direction for a "childish" 15 year old.  Could part of the childishness be partly because of the childish punishments?

And that whole "decorating" thing is very immature and just plain weird.  Maybe for a 5 year old, but not a 15 year old.

Extra chores, no phone, no cell phone, no internet, no mall, no after school activities, etc.

Answer 21

Don't fix whats not broken! Your daughter is showing her "childeshness" in talking back to you guys, as you stated. The only effective consequences are those that DIRECTLY correlate with the childs' actions. This one is simple; since your young lady wants to act like a child, then she should be treated like one. In this case, it is precisely the right response, as in her mind, she is understanding that her actions are seen to be beneath her age and stature and her consequence is that she is in turn, displayed as a child. Since it is working, and you are only reporting positive results from it, then go ahead and continue with this form of discipline. As long as it is not having and advers effect on your daughter, such as her pulling away from family functions, gatherings, withdrawing, etc., then she's probably just fine. Blessings....

Answer 22

haha if shes going to be childish, be childish back.

When she asks for something say 'nope'

but the idea i like most is this:

Each time you think she has reach an intolerable level of disrespect give her a mark...at the end of the week..take her to a local public track...

for each mark she has earned in the week she runs one lap.

Do not run her to death, so if its 102 outside...don't make her run(a lot...lol, but like don't make her run until she collapses) ...do it in the evenings or spread it out through several days.

This will improve her physical health and probably sharpen her mouth up. Athletic students tend to be more disciplined.

She might refuse to run, but give her 2 choices...make the running the lesser of two evils.

but when she doesn't talk back praise her, praising is stronger then condemning.

Answer 23

Ignore her, if she acts like a child, then ignore her, the more attention she seeks, the more she will do it, she will see the chair as just another challenge, get rid of it, she is a young adult, so unless she acts like one, treat her like a child and ignore her

Answer 24

It is normal for her to "backtalk" at that age.  Just relax.

Answer 25

If humiliation is working than keep it up, just dont let it get too far. And remember that you love her to your death and you wouldnt want to do anything that will really really hurt her.

Answer 26

Sounds like a good punishment to me, especially if it is working!  It's not hurting her and it doesn't sound like any type of abuse to me, so what's the problem?  

As far as humiliation goes, that's probably WHY it's working.  Punshment is not supposed to be fun, enjoyable, or pleasant for a kid.  A little humiliation never killed a kid (it doesn't sound like you're exploiting her in anyway).  If she doesn't like it, then she'll stop back-talking you.  

That's the problem with many parents these days, they're way too concerned about their kid's "feelings" (not to say kids feelings never matter) therefore they are too lax and they don't follow through with their threats of punishment or they don't discipline their kids at all.  Lack of discipline is one major thing that's wrong with society today.  So, I'd say, Good for you!  You're being a parent!  Thumbs UP TO YOU!!!!

Answer 27

I'm 15 and all I have to say is..if it works then go for it. I would hate to have to tell my friends that I had to sit on a timeout chair I'm sure she will too.

Answer 28

Haha,

put soap in her mouth!

& the old timeout would work too

;)

Me, personally  14 myself, would deffinately be humiliated,

so i would stop!

lol.

Answer 29

dont humiliate her~

get your whole family to dress up (exept her) ,

and start walking out the door , when she asks where your going say that your going to the movie at the cinema she wants to see , then say she backchatted so she cant come.

Answer 30

I don't know about the time out chair.  I saw something on the news this morning though, that was still embarrassing for the child, but I bet you he'll change because of it.  I guess the kid was lying to his mom a lot, so she made him a HUGE sign on a bright green poster board that read "I can't stop lying to my mom. I think she's too stupid to find out, but I keep getting caught"  and she made him hold up that poster board on the street so all the cars that drove by seen that sign.  The kid said it was extremely embarrassing.  Maybe you should try something like that.