Gorilla in the barn?

Question

I have a problem that I could use a little help with.

I am a divorced woman and I live alone on a small farm and have recently redid my barn so I could take in a few boarders to supplement my income. At this time I have 4 boarders. 3 women and 1 man.

He always pays his bill on time, but that is his only saving grace. He is big rude obnoxious brute. He man - handles his horse. This man I can not tolerate. I have seen him actually punch his horse in the face when the horse wouldn't stand for mounting. He is vulgar to the other ladies and obviously has no respect for women or animals. He has hit on all of us at one time or another over the past 8 months he has been here. He is making everyone uncomfortable. I even found him standing in my kitchen once (uninvited!) and I have seen him kick one of my dogs. He creeps me out. I confess to being a little afraid of him and would like to get him gone. I think if I tell him to finding another boarding situation, things will get ugly. Suggestions?

Answer 1

Eeek that sounds quite bad. You could always call the police or spca and get the horse away from the man as thats animal cruelty and trespassing.  

Answer 2

I'm guessing this guy has had problems before....contact the local police and express your concerns.  They will be able to check him out to see if he has any criminal background, and go from there.  They may also be able to advise you on a way to deal with this.  I would be very nervous in your situation, and keep my doors locked!!!  Don't handle this alone, though.

EDIT....I've come back to read other posts, and I really think this is not about anything but your own safety.  I had a very good friend who was murdered in a similar situation...I don't mean to scare you, but the advice you are receiving could put you in danger if you follow it.  Issues of animal abuse are the least of what worries me in this.  I hope you will contact the police for their help and advice.  His behavior is antisocial, and he may well have chosen your barn based on your situation.  Please go to the police.

Answer 3

Give him a written notice on his stall door about his behavior and if the behavior doesn't change immediately he will have a few weeks to remove his horse and his belongings to another facility. Call or visit personally your local police station and explain your situation to them and ask them to be on a stand-by sort of to help you out. and when the time comes to actually have him kicked out if he doesn't leave on his own free will, call the police and ask them to come out and help you with his removal from the property.  

Answer 4

Put secret video tapes in the barn & then call the police or animal abuse hotline!

Answer 5

You do have a problem.  tell him that he is making the other  boarders uncomfortable with his behavior, then suggest another boarding stable where there are more men and he might be happier there.  Then if he doesn't leave tell him his has to go, but have someone there with you when you tell him. you can tell him that you have decided to make it an all women stable whatever it takes to get rid of him  

Answer 6

REPORT HIM TO...

THE POILCE

ANIMAL CRUELTY

AND LOADS OF OTHER PLACES...

I RECKON THEY CAN CHARGE HIM.

ALSO HE'S NOT THEIR ALL THE TIME AND IF YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT TIMES HE COMES TO FEED AND RIDE THEN THIS SOUNDS STUPID BUT...

GET YOUR TRAILER AND LOCK YOUR DOORS OF YOUR HOUSE AND LOCK THE DOGS AND ANIMALS IN. TAKE HIS HORSE ONTO YOUR TRAILER AND TAKE IT AWAY TO ANOTHER LIVERY OR GRASS AT LEAST 20 MILES AWAY. COME BACK AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN AND PUT YOUR TRAILER WHERE IT NORMALLY IS AND TAKE ALL HAY AND WATER OUT OF IT SO IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVEN'T USED IT. WHEN HE COMES TO GET HIS HORSE IT WON'T BE THEIR AND HE WILL THINK IT IS STOLEN TELL HIM SOMETHING LIKE A MAN CAME TO GET YOUR HORSE LAST NIGHT AND HE SAID HE WAS YOUR FRIEND AND THAT YOU WERE GOING TO A SHOW.

DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, JUST TAKE THE HORSE AWAY!

Answer 7

Hopefully your boarding contracts are short term. I never write a boarding contract beyond 6 months and I always write a 90 day probationary contract on first time boarders. Give him notice that when his contract expires he will have to find other accommodations for his horse and don't be shy to tell him why. You should in fact document the reasons why in the letter of notice. Just do it and don't worry about how he will react, and if he reacts badly you can call out the sheriff to deal with him and evict him immediately. Why didn't you give him notice the day of his uninvited entry into the privacy of your home? That is a criminal act bordering on home invasion. Just send him packing! And if there is no contract there is no need to wait to evict him. Just do it.

Answer 8

My first suggestion would be to be safe!  When you talk to him, have the other boarders there to back you up.  I agree that he needs to be out of his barn, unless there is "evidence" of what he does to his horse you can't press charges, however there is no reason why you should tolerate it on your property!

I know you said you are divorced, and not to sound sexist here, but is there any tough male relative or friend you could get to help you?  I worry about your safety on this one, judging by the way he treats his animals he has some serious anger issues and even if you got him off the property safely he might retaliate later.  Having a man with you when you talk to him may intimidate him and make him think twice about "getting back".

Lastly, you could just try to lie a bit.  Tell him you're considering getting a new horse of your own and you need the space for yourself.  Look for some other reason to say he has to leave instead of the other 3 women (ie: have they been there longer? or are they more willing to help around the barn? etc).  Or in the least, try to avoid the subject of what he does to his animals and the ladies, it will only anger him and he doesn't have to know the whole reason why you want him out!  

Above all keep safe in this situation!  I know it hurts to see what he does to his animals, but you shouldn't risk your own safety for their sake!  

Answer 9

Give him notice to board elsewhere in 30 days.  You don't have to put up with that.  It is YOUR property.  Yes, it might get a little ugly but you have the right to decide who you will do business with.

Answer 10

I have helped manage a livery yard in the past and we were in a similar situation. We put a letter in his monthly invoice which read something like:

Dear XXXX,

It has come to our attention that your behaviour is causing problems amongst the other clients. As you can imagine, we will not tolerate this. Please address your behaviour within the next calendar month, or you will be asked to leave the yard.

Your sincerley

XXXX

Anyway, he ignored it so in his next bill he got:

Dear XXXX

Following our letter dated XX/XX/XX it appears that you have not changed your behaviour and attitude towards the other liveries and the animals on the yard. Consider this letter a termination of your contract with us [or, if you don't have contracts, put "consider this letter your given notice period of..."]. Please remove your horse without fuss within 30 days [or before XX/XX/XX] or we will take legal action.

Yours sincerely

XXXX

He kicked up such a fuss that we pinned a letter to his stable door reading:

Dear XXXX,

Further to our letter dated XX/XX/XX it appears that your behaviour and attitude has worsened. As a yard we [or "as Yard Owner I"] will not tolerate this. The Police have been informed and a formal complaint has been made against you. I have advised the other clients that any formal complaint they choose to make against you will be fully supported by us[/me]. Please remove your horse within 7 days [or by XX/XX/XX].

Yours sincerely

XXXX

....he was gone the next day.

ADD: Tell the ladies what you are doing, tell them that if anything on the yard should get nasty, then they are to leave the yard immediately and come into your house (if you are okay with that), where you will call the Police. If he comes to the door, DO NOT answer. Just shout that if he doesn't go away then you will call the Police. Make your voice clear and confident, and resist the temptation to call him names. Take the moral highground, you are in the right, not him! Even if you are terrified, sound assertive! Good luck with this brute! Email me if I can help at all. xx

ADD (again): I've also just thought - make sure you make copies of any correspondance, I suggest making a diary of unpleasant events. Write down dates and times, as well as quotations if applicable. Suggest to the other ladies that they do the same. It will only strengthen your case if it goes to Court.