Gotta a question for all moms......PLZ be honest.......What do I do?

Question

I have a 10 year old(M) and and 8 year old.(B) M is totally vendictive...she sasses all the time u cant get her to do anything without a fight. so in turn B thinks she can do the sassing to. m does it more to me than to her dad and most of the time I feel like i am a stranger in my own home. I feel as tho M treats me like dirt. what i really want to know is how can i get this to stop how do i get the sweet and well mannered girl back. will it change when she starts? How can i get the chores to get done with out a fight she knows she has chores and so this isnt anything new. i just want her to act 10 and not 2 so B will act like she is supposed to. Am i just a stupid mom and do i just have to scream and holler every day till she out grows this or what do i do? Thank u all for all ur answers in advance. I want truthful answers. I am trying to be a great mom and even tho they tell me i am there are days i feel HORRIBLE..... what do i do?

Answer 1

Make an appointment with your pediatrician for a referral for a family counselor.  The dynamics in your household are shifting and the kids are figuring out how to rule the house.  Take your house back!  But you'll need some professional family counseling and 100% support from your husband.  It is not going to be easy, and don;t expect a 'quick-fix'.  It will be hard work to learn how to respect the rules of the house and communicate effectively.  

Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

LOL, welcome to puberty.  Now I'm going to ask, where was the discipline when these girls were small?  Obviously this behavior didn't happen overnight, why have they been allowed to behave this way?  They are spoiled brats who have been allowed to run all over you and it is only going to get worse as they enter their teens.  Either YOU put your foot down and say no more and begin disciplining them (which doesn't mean hitting by any means), setting rules, sticking to them and reprecussions if rules are broken or they will continue to walk all over you.  Make a list of house rules, award good behavior and admonish bad behavior, remove any televisions, video games, computers from their rooms (they shouldn't be in their rooms to begin with).  Limit the time they spend with television, video games, computer, SUPERVISE their time with each and only dole it out when they have BEHAVED.  The only way ANYONE can walk all over you is if YOU lie down and allow yourself to be used as a doormat.

Answer 3

You should not expect you children to be sweet and well mannered all the time because that is just unnatural. Fighting with parents a little is normal. You need to punish M when she is mean and be firm you should also talk to her about setting a better example for B. Set up a routine for chores so M and B will know what you expect and not feel like they are being some sort of slave. If you yell at your kids they will yell back. Be the person you want them to become. Don't fuss at your kids or take them for granted. They are your children love them no matter what.

Answer 4

Tell her that you will make a deal with her.  You will continue to buy items for her that she wants and doesn't need if she will start treating you with respect. Tell her if she wants to be treated nicely then she will have to do the same to you and others.  If she doesn't then stop being miss nice parent. Teach her to treat others and she would like to be treated.

Answer 5

I have a ten year old with a big mouth as well.  I finally had to start grounding her for a week at a time.  She got grounded about 4 times until she realized she wasn't going to win.  Start taking things away from her until she can help out without a fight.  I would take away play days with her friends.  Her computer,  TV, phone... everything that was important to her.  She still smarts off from time to time.. but it has gotten better.  Stick to your guns!  You have to punish her for her to learn.  Don't get yourself upset either.  That's what she wants.  Make her go in her room.. and when she throws a fit in there... act like you don't even care...  Go on with your day as if she is not even there...  My ten year old loves when I feed in to it.  Good luck!!!  Ten is a hard age for girls... I'm terrified to see how the teenage years will be.  When the 8 year old sees how much trouble the ten year old gets in.. maybe he won't want to do the same....

Don't feel bad.. it's not your fault...  They always try to make us feel bad like it's something we've done....  :)