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Grade My Essay So far Please???

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This is my persuasive essay about Julius Caesar, describing teh better speaker, Brutus or Mark Antony. Please Let me know what you think, and any tips to help, thx.

“My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, and I must pause till it come back to me.” This is a line quoted from the eulogy Mark Antony gave at the funeral of Julius Caesar, expressing the grief he feels at the loss of his friend. Mark Antony along with Marcus Brutus both gave orations at Caesar’s funeral, and with these speeches tried to manipulate the Romans into siding with them. Although Brutus words had an effect on the Romans, Antony’s way of addressing the crowd along with his use of rational and emotional appeal makes him the better speaker.

Throughout his speech, Antony uses rational appeal. In his eulogy, Marcus Brutus makes the murder of Julius Caesar honorable based solely on the reason that Caesar was ambitious. Brutus says, “But his ambition—for that, I killed him.” Brutus, however, provides no further evidence showing Caesar's ambition. Mark Antony then counters this. In his eulogy, he states, “You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he thrice did refuse. Was this ambition?” Antony refutes Brutus’ point, by providing evidence showing Caesar as a humble man, and then further questioning the ambition Brutus spoke of.

Another approach that made Antony the better speaker was his use of emotional appeal. During his oration, Antony spoke of the wealth Caesar brought to Rome and the love he had for the Romans. He says, “He hath brought many captives home to Rome whose ransoms did the general coffers fill”, and, “When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept.” By doing this, Antony is touching the hearts of the Romans and triggering their emotions, so they can act against the conspirators.

An additional way that makes Antony a better speaker than Brutus is the way he addressed the crowd. After Brutus gave his oration, the Romans were on the side of the conspirators, agreed with Brutus.

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  1. Hmm, good. Use the word "pathos" for emotional appeal! Or not. And "logos" for rational appeal....unless you'd rather just use those. And...brutus's*


  2. I like it so far!  It's a good setup for a persuasive essay, as your thesis provides a nice insight into your paper, and it  makes a clear point that your paper provides sufficient evidence of.  The only thing is in the 1st paragraph, it's Brutus', for "Although Brutus words..." :).  Good job though!

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