Grandfather is Dying...i need help to calm my mother down...?

Question

uhm oki...a few days ago my mother had a call from vietnam from her mother saying that her father is not going to make it alive... my mother has been going into reallllyyyyy scary tantrums..... she's been crying ever since its scaring me alot because my mother is the type of woman who doesnt show emotions like this while her kids are around. what am i suppose to do?? im was never in this sort of situation and having strict and emotionless parents...its kind of shocking to see one breaking like this....we cant go visit him either because we are immigrants who's green cards arent given yet...it will be in december near around christmas...thats when we are going to have it... im afraid though... maybe...we would be too late... and he would already be d...dead.... my mom is a VERY weak person and often clumsy. being that weak i wonder at times if this might send her into a mental hospital...im scared...i dont want my mother to go to a mental hospital!! whats a 13 who JUST turn 14 year old girl to do...??????

Answer 1

My daughter is your age, and rest assured honey, your job is simpler than you think. Try approaching your mom when she is calm, and just reminding her how much you love her, and that you will be there for her no matter what. Telling her that you know how upset she is about her Dad, and that you understand her pain will go a lot further than you think! It's got to be difficult for you too - although you don't mention how close you and your grand dad are....you could also simply ask her "Mom, is there anything I can do to help you feel better?" You are a wonderful daughter for showing such obvious caring and concern for your Mom! In the end though, you must remember that despite how badly we all want to to take away the suffering of our loved ones, we cannot take any of it - but can only serve to support them when they are in pain...

Answer 2

well, be sure to be very helpful around the house with sweeping, mopping, dusting, dishes, laundry, and even volenteer to try to cook small simple meals for the family.  Also, be sure to be available when you can be.  and hug and kiss your mom and tell her you love her a lot an you are here for her if she needs you to do anything.  But help out with the housework a lot without being asked to help.  that is a trememdous amount of help.

Answer 3

Call grand mother and ask for note from his doctor,what the real situation,ask print on official hospital letter for immigration office.when get go with her passport to immigration office.explain them,they 99% give you visa to go see her father.they did for my brother in law.they had same story about father.you can't do more than that.don't worry if she able to see him she will be o k.just start immigration paper work.

Answer 4

some cultures act this way but rest assured that she knows that she has comments to you and your dad and will be fine  

Answer 5

Try talking to her. See if she will open up to you about this.  All you can really do it be there & pray that he makes it until you can go see him.  Good luck!

Answer 6

Ok, my grandfather recently died as well and i can tell you its gonna be hard.

Tell your mother to be calm, that her dad wouldn't want her freaking out about this.

We have an expression up here in Canada. "Nobody wants their family crying in their beer when were gone"

Its what i'm gonna tell my kids/grandkids before i pass. Its my my grandfather told me before he died.

Your mother wont go to a mental hospital, it is normal to be in grief for a terminal family member, its healthy.

You'll have to be there for your mother for sure. We all had to be there for my grandma when grandpa died. They had been married for 68 years when my grandpa died