Grandma kicks my dog!

Question

My grandmother is very old and her personality has changed for the worse lately. She lives with me, and has started to treat my dogs badly.

At first she spoke to them roughly and nudged them away from her with her foot. But lately she's kicked at them, and purposely run into them with her walking frame.

I dont think she's hurting them, but it upsets me that they are being treated poorly.

I really dont want to tell her off for it. I am torn between the duty to respect my elder and keep her happy, and the responsibility to my pets.

What should I do????

Answer 1

you are torn between respect for this woman?

there is nothing respectful about what she has been doing.

jeez,... just say 'I really dont like what you are doing - we live in the same house - and i think we should do our best to respect each other'

and see what her reaction is.

if it isnt a good one.. then sorry hon..

its time for war. Have a fight with her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she doesnt think about you at all, or else she wouldnt be kicking your dogs. sorry!

Answer 2

Give credit to the intelligence of your dogs as they must sense by now, that Grannie is a person they need to avoid. Dogs do not usually want to spend time around someone who kicks them or deliberately runs into them with a walking frame. If the dogs are fit and healthy they will be more than capable of avoiding grannie when she's grumpy. I do believe that Grannie could be asked nicely, to ignore the dogs rather than risk injuring them. It may not be solely old age symptoms that are making grannie do these things to the dogs. There may be some jealousy creeping in as the older people get, the more attention they demand & like. If this is the case, it may be that she needs reassurance of your love and at the same time you can reiterate to her how special the dogs are to you as well. You could add, that if anything were to happen to the dogs, you would be devastated. I'm sure grannie would not like to think that the person she has come to depend upon and lives with, could be made sad by her actions. It is of course very difficult to convey certain messages to some people with dementia - it is unclear if your grannie suffers from such old age illness. Nonetheless, there are boundaries and limits we set for all and in your home, it is important that she realises that the dogs are very much part of your life, just as she is for now.