Grandma passed away, how should we honor her?

Question

My fiance is really upset, his grandma passed away on August 4th from pancreatic cancer and our wedding is November 1. It is really hard on the family, because it was unexpected (the doctors didn't find the cancer until a week before). He has no more grandparents, so I want to do something special in her honor. Any ideas? She loves daisies so I was thinking of having a seat at the front with pink daisies for her. I want to do something, but not make a scene since it will still be pretty fresh with everyone and I don't want to upset anyone. Now if we do this for her, does that mean I should do something for his other grandma who passed away like 7 years ago from cancer? I never knew her so I don't know. What is the proper thing to do? He never knew his grandpas so I am not worried about that as much. Thanks for the advice!

Answer 1

I love your idea to honor your fiance's grandma at your wedding.  My grandma passed away 21 years ago but she had the biggest influence in my life.  I plan on carrying 1 pink rose in my bouquet to remember her.  I will also have my dad's wedding band pinned to the inside of my dress so he can be there while I walk down the aisle.  

I think if it were mentioned in any other way in the ceremony or a remembrance table (which seems to be very popular these days), it might be upsetting to others.

Congrats!

Answer 2

My husband and I both had close relatives that had passed on so we did this - got a digital photo frame and loaded a bunch of pictures from past weddings or anniversaries (of grandparents and other family members) as a sort of tribute to them and their marriages and put it on shuffle. We placed it on the table with the guest book. This way it ties into the wedding and is more of a celebration of their life.  

Answer 3

i would have a little memory table either outside your reception area by the place cards or inside the reception area maybe by the cake.then you can put the pics of the people you want to honor in nice frames and put it on the table with a candle and a small vase with some daisies.it will be there to honor that person but it wont be so in your face.i think most people will love it and be glad you honored her.

Answer 4

A nice way to memorialize a loved one during the wedding ceremony is by lighting a candle or placing a single rose at the altar.

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Answer 5

Your idea is perfect.

I just answered a question like this one, and I said that in honor of my cousin who passed away a few years ago, we're putting a rose on an empty seat where he would have sat, and that's it. As much as we'd love to honor him more, we don't want our wedding to  turn into a sobfest, or a reenactment of his funeral. We want to keep the mood light and happy as much as possible, and what you plan on doing is perfect. It's meaningful, acknowledging her, while not going over the top.

Answer 6

you can do a memorial table at the wedding and light a candle for each of those who were not able to attend and display a photo of each.  you can have a reading done as well.

Answer 7

We are in the same boat with our father's.  You can get a preacher to say something like- have him light a candle for her...the preacher can say something like "the groom lights a candle in honor of his grandmother who passed away recently."  But don't do anything too big b/c people are at a wedding to feel good.  

Answer 8

The pink daisy in an empty chair sounds perfect to me. I don't know if you're going to have pictures up at the sign in book but maybe (if you have one) of his grandma and the two of you.

Answer 9

I like the daisy idea... but if it were me the sight of the daisies sitting on that chair alone would make me cry, lol...

I am in the same situation, my mom passed away about 8 years ago (will be almost 9 by the time of my wedding) and I had one set of my grandparents pass away 4 months later and within 4 days of each other (!)... so this is what I am going to do...

I am having a page printed up that I'm gonna put in a frame next to a candle (and either on the cake table or by the guest book, I'm not sure yet) and it's gonna say, "This candle is lit in remembrance of all our loved ones that couldn’t be here with us tonight, but are always with us in spirit..." and then I have their names listed below that with their relationship to us.

For instance, at the top of the list is my mother and so I have her name, and then below it in slightly smaller lettering, "~*~Mother of the Bride~*~".... then I have my grandparents listed, with underneath it saying "~*~Grandparents of the Bride~*~"... etc...

I did it this way cuz it's simple and not overbearing, everyone *should* see it, and won't really take away from the joy of the day, like a big speech/reading or something might... especially since her death was SO recent, you don't want to go overboard...

Good luck, hope this helps!

EDIT: I also have a grandma that died before I was born, but I am still listing her on my thingy anyway. Just cuz I didn't actually know her doesn't make her any less of a grandma, ya know?? :)

Answer 10

Right - a single seat with a small arrangement of daisies is all that you should do, maybe surrounding a nice photo of her but keep it simple so to not dwell on the family's loss. This is to be a happy day for the 2 of you. Do not light a candle for her during the ceremony. After wards may be more appropriate, if you have an incling to do so.  

Answer 11

I think you idea about the daisys is perfect.  It is a subtle and quiet way to send her the message that she is missed.