Grandma-to-be offered to give shower and then backed out?

Question

I am due November to have my first child (a little girl!) and my mother in law offered to throw me a shower. Well, the shower is in about three weeks and she has now backed out saying she only was going to "help" and she can't afford to buy everything. The thing is, I am POSITIVE because she asked me "can I throw you a baby shower?" and then we talked about the guest list, the food I wanted, etc. At every point I asked her if it was OK, not too many people, etc. I was really trying to be considerate of her budget and everything. With the people she wanted to invite, plus my own guest list, we are planning for a lot of people (about 30 invites) and she said this was fine. But now her husband has been offered a job in a different state and she is moving before my shower! She says she will come back down, but now it is up to us to handle the food and everything. (She bought the decorations, and invitations) She even says that our address needs to go on the invitations since she is moving and will not be able to get all the reply cards. And I feel really embarassed because my husband has taken over the planning, but I don't want anyone to feel we are throwing our own shower, because that is SO tacky, and I feel people will think that if they see our address on the reply cards and maybe not want to come. Please give me some advice! What was supposed to be a fun day has become really upsetting!

Answer 1

Excuse me. First of all if she backed out theres nothing you can do. Second of all I helped throw my own shower with my mother and my aunt and it came out beautifully and no one thought it was "tacky" just because I helped, it was even at my house! We had everything for our guests and had more than 40 people. Life throws you curves all the time you just have to deal with it and go with the flow. If this is your first and your this upset about the shower your going to be in for a real shock when you realize what it means to be a mom and how often things dont work out as you planned them.  

Answer 2

Well don't let it be upsetting. I do understand how you would feel throwing yourself a baby shower is tacky but its not like you originally started the idea. And you already have decorations and invitations right? so why let them go to waste! Besides me don't really care who set it up, if their coming to the baby shower they are coming to bring a present to you to help with the baby. If you really feel uncomfortable with people thinking that you did this baby shower then Just tell them that shes moving, shes still having the baby shower, b/c isn't she coming down still for the shower? but ya'll have to have it at your house. They don't need to know that ya'll have taken over the arrangements. I know its akward but just make it extra fun for everybody then so their getting something out of it to. Like playing lots of games. I know for my baby shower everybody had a lot of fun playing games. Show them a good time (and you don't have to spend a lot of money a lot of games can be put together with stuff you have around the house) with playing games and nobody will even think about the fact that you and your husband put it together yourselves. Well i hope maybee that helped you a little bit. Good luck.

Answer 3

IM SORRY BUT THROWIN URE OWN SHOWER IS NOT TACKY MY HUSBAND N I THREW OUR OWN N IF U REALLY NEED SOME THINGS WELL DO IT ...BUT I HAVE DECIDED TO JUST BUY WHAT MY DAUGHTER WILL NEED INSTEAD OF A SHOWER BECAUSE ALL THE DECORATIONS AND FOOD U WILL BE WASTING IT SO JUST SAVE URE MONEY FOR EVERYTHING URE BABY NEEDS  

Answer 4

I wouldn't NOT have one just because she backed out.  Some people are probably really looking forward to it.

No friends or other family members to help?

I know someone who threw her own shower...it's not traditional, but it was done.

Answer 5

Thats really sad that you are so stuck up that you think its 'TACKY' to throw your own baby shower.  A LOT of people do it because it does get really expensive.  You should have offered to help pay for things instead of taking your mother-in-law for granted.

Throw it yourself.  Why do you even care what other people think?  Grow up a little..your about to have a baby.  You should be EXCITED not whining over someone NOT throwing you a shower.

Answer 6

Put on the invites that it's going to be hosted by her and put her # down for the RSVP. Most people don't do that anyway. Just plan for the 30 people and if you have less people come at least you know you'll have enough.

It's not like you're planning your WHOLE shower. She said she'll still help.