Grandparenting dilemma

Question

My best friend is a grand mother to a 1 and a half adorable little girl. She looks after her grand daughter while her son and his wife work. She has sole care 2 full days and nights a week, the other grandmother has her for 2 other full days and nights. The problem my friend has is discipline. Her son is very very strict and believes in smacking his daughter on the hand if she is naughty, my friend is horrified and hates to do this, thinks that she is too young for this kind of strictness and gets very upset at the thought of having to smack her grand daughter. When she told her son this he said well if you cant look after her properly we will get someone else who can do it right. Her son is ex army and does not treat his mother very well and it would break her heart if she lost contact with her grand daughter, can anyone give me advice I could pass on to her, I just get angry, call him the horrid beast he is and don't really help. My friend is not one of the namby pamby brigade who would not install disciple, just cant bring herself to smack the little girl. Thanks

Answer 1

You are missing one thing here,he is HER son,she brought him up,so he should be aware of what is really needed in his own situation.Leave well alone.

Answer 2

Well He is the father and can choose to discipline her like that if he chooses to do so. My mother does not agree with my view of child rearing but that is my concern not hers.  

Answer 3

As long as the little girl responds to verbal commands then there is no reason for a swat. She can threaten a swat but as long as the child complys there is no reason to swat.  

Answer 4

The father doesn't have to see or know how his mom disciplines.  I'm surprised this topic even came up.  Oh, he must have said just smack her hand when she misbehaves and she said, oh no I would never do that, and he said well we'll just find someone else to watch her then!

When her granddaughter misbehaves have her discipline her the way she wants to (time-outs or whatnot).  When dad comes over just tell him she was a "perfect angel" today.  My 2 year old can be a terror sometimes with me, but my sitter says she's never in trouble, no time-outs or anything.  I'm like whatever, that can't be true.  Maybe she's not telling me something....

Answer 5

Just have grandma tell that jack*** father that she was a perfect angel everyday.  When she does misbehave, use a more sane method of discipline.  He doesn't need to know.  

This kid is going to grow up neurotic anyways so grandma will always be a place of solace and safety she'll love forever.

What sh*thead doesn't know, won't hurt him.

Answer 6

Agree with brentall