Grandparents....how do i get grandpa to stop telling me how to raise my son..

Question

i have a five year old boy and a one year old boy. my five year old sees my dad often... this is all fine and dandy.. but i have a situation...for instance.. my dad HATES Mohawks.. my son LOVES them.. he had a few since he was two. he just recently had one.. my dad was pissed every time. this last time he took my son to work with him.. then shaved his head! cuz he didnt want to take him around with that kinda hair... my son was so afraid to go to grandpas cuz he didnt want him to cut his hair.. after that he said.. i dont wanna go to grandpas any more... does any one else have parents like this..? he acts like my son is HIS son and will not let me give my kid what he wants.. like pierce his ears!! he wants it done.. my dad will just take em out!! uuuggghh!!!! any advise??

Answer 1

Sounds like your Dad has always had a control problem, so why should he stop now. Everyone has let him rule the roost for years.

He's your son and your rules, you have to stand up to your Dad and tell him how it is, but he's not going to stop untell you put your foot down on his.

I would not under any circumstances cut my grand daughters hair unless her parents said to do it. That is so wrong.

Answer 2

I'm with gramps.

Answer 3

Tell grandpa he is allowed to enjoy his grandchildren but you will be the one who decides these things ... you are the parent and you'd better staighten him out ... he's acting like a child . These are your kids , he either follows your rules or doesn't see them without  supervision .

   Ask him what his reaction would have been to someone interfering in the way he raised you.

   tell grandpa he also needs to grow up ... the styles have changed since he was a kid ...  

Answer 4

To keep the peace - I stick by ONE SENTENCE

- "thanks for your suggestion, i'll definatley consider it"

It lets them know that what they told you, you take it as a suggestion and not an order.

Answer 5

Supervise your father's visits with your son. That way you can monitor what he does and doesn't do/say to him. Otherwise you'll just have to not allow them to viist as often. You are the parent, he is the grandparent. Grandparents will give advice, but ultimately you get are to decide on the actions of your child's life.

My dad likes to give me his 2 cents when it's unwanted as well. And I haven't even had my baby yet. It's very frustrating. Example: every time I visit my parents he must tell me what time I should be going to bed..........I'm 23 (and getting plenty of sleep through this pregnancy).

Good luck!

Answer 6

Well I'm not one to beat around the bush so generally I just tell my father-in-law to shut it when he tries to run my kids.

Answer 7

It sounds like it is time for an ultimatum. Its an IF THEN situation. IF you continue to undermine my authority, THEN you will not be allowed to be alone with my son.