Grandson, 10, Gets Detention Constantly?

Question

If your grandchild , nervous and talkative from being raised with a druggie mom, got detention for talking (he has a loud voice, too), what would you do to punish him if anything? I thought just D-Hall was enough but my other daughter says he should "be grounded from Everything and he'll stop talking." He lived with this other daughter and after ONE 100% grounding never got a D Slip again. I'm afraid of making him sadder than ever with what he's been through and his mother Still seems like she doesn't want the poor kid. But he needs to have respect for authority figures which he seems to lack.

Answer 1

do not ground him his alredaly grounded in school with the detention y do parents thinks when u get a denetion u need to be in grounded at home not fair

Answer 2

It seems he is just reaching out to be heard as he was not in his home environment.  Though my son was not raised in that type of environment he did have a lot of problems in school at that age too. I finally had him tested and we found that the reason he had the time to act out was his work was too easy for him and he would get done faster than the other kids then act like a clown. The teacher started giving him harder work and then used him to help her with things like passing out papers, mentoring a younger child in reading, helping her set up certain things for the classes and such. With the harder work keeping him quiet and the added attention he got, one on one, from the teacher, he turned out to be a wonderful young man who is one of our countries finest, a Marine! I would have never thought he would have the patience for this type of service as he was like your grandson!!  Ask the teacher if he/she would be willing to do this with your grandson and see if it makes a difference - I bet you a dollar that it does!!   Best of luck with the little guy, the more positive attention he gets now the better he will be as a young adult and an adult.

Answer 3

Seems obvious this young man needs some counseling, a good friend, some unconditional love, some consistency, boundaries, expectations & consequences that are realistic and reachable, a medical exam to rule out ADHD or some of his own possible medical/mental health issues that are at the root of his woes... especially seeing his mother had substance abuse problems...  This boy needs some positive affection and positive feed back - the LAST thing he needs is criticism, more grounding, more negativity.  He's too young to compartmentalize all the c**p he's been through on his own - he needs some help, guidance, direction and love if you ask me.... KIDS can't do this on their own!

Answer 4

Make the rule that if he gets detention he gets grounded. Kids need rules and structure in order to feel safe and cared for. Praise him a lot for the good things he does.

Answer 5

When I was little anytime I got in trouble at school I would get more of the same when I got home. So if I got paddled at school I got it again at home. If I got detention at school I would be grounded for the rest of the night at home usually with a writing assignment. Needless to say i didn't get in trouble very much.

Answer 6

Do you have custody of the child? If you don't perhaps you should consider getting it.

Basicaly the child needs to be deprogrammed. If all he has seen is druggie behavior then that is all he knows. I have seen that with other children.

I think a punishment would be a good idea. It shouldn't be a terrible punishment but you could make him do a extra chore. The chore would take time and energy. That will stick with him a lot longer then being grounded.

I agree that you don't want to make him sadder but since he has to relearn everything then you are going to have to take active steps to make sure he relearns correctly. Don't be mean to him when you make him do the chore but explain that every time he gets in trouble at school a punishment will follow.

Also see if you can get him to see a counselor for children. It sounds like the loud talking at school could be a cry for attention and he also might have issues about his mother being a drugie. Good luck.