Great! My cousin has really effed up things now.... What do I do?

Question

To make a long story short, my cousin contacted my fiance on our instant messenger and pretended to be some hot blonde chick and started hitting on him (she's 12, and on summer break) Well after he wouldn't flirt back, she started saying hateful things to him. And he's really hurt (he has low self esteem allready) we're getting eloped in 94 days. But right now his feathers are in a ruffle and he's rather mad with me (He thinks I put her up to it, and he's overly embaressed because some of the things my cousin said really hurt him) So now he thinks my family doesn't like him, and wont approve of him, ect...

He also thinks I put her up to it, which I didn't. He's not very good at listening to both sides of the story. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to listen to me?

I know when I get home he'll be drinking. She has compleatly mortified him and perhaps messed up our relationship for quite some time. (this is not the only time she's said something effed up 2 him)

Answer 1

I saw what you posted on your cousins question, and I think you are handling this in a mature matter.  She should be told by both you and her mother, to stay out of your relationship.  I agree that her mother should be told because she needs to be punished.  I think if you wait a day or so for things to calm down your fiance will come around.  He most likely needs some time right now, then take him to dinner or somewhere nice just for the two of you and talk to him about it.  Explain that she is young and irresponsible.  Good Luck

Answer 2

Talk to the girls mother- she should be monitoring her internet use at that age anyhow. Get your fiance help, if he already has a condition that effect his mental state he should not be throwing alcohol in on top of it. If comments from a 12 year old girl are going to hurt him he does need help. I am not being rude, please look at the big picture before you elope. If he doesnt believe you that you didnt put her up to it, doesnt even feel good about himself when you compliment him. It is a good sign that he didnt flirt back- hes faithful. Please look it all over before you commit yourself. Good luck

Answer 3

I am so sorry that you have to go through that!

Sit with him, hold him... let him feel your love for him from every pore in your body.. not in some dirty way, mind you.  Reassure him that you would do nothing so nasty and underhanded as that.  But give his ego some major props - play up the fact that he is such a great guy that he refused to give in to such a childish prank and that you know you made the right choice in a future hubby knowing that he isn't going to flirt and cheat on you.  Tell him that it is your love and your opinion of him that matter much more than your family's.  You are the one, after all, that will be laying down by his side when the day is done.  And make sure you tell him that the first line of approval is from you... even if the family is lukewarm on him at first that they will come to accept him for the sheer fact that you support and accept him.

And if you can grab a copy of that chat - do it!  Then take it to cousin's wonderful place and have a chat of your own - with her and her mom/dad or whoever you can grab that will listen.  And employ your future hubby on this one.  If you two confront this issue together, it may quite well prove that you are on his side!

Best of luck!