Great Relationship with my future wife..woman suggestion needed?

Question

I was reading the book: Why men dont listen and women cant read maps.

I am a man and will be marrying a woman in distant future. After reading the book,i have learned few things regarding how to develop relationship with my wife.

1) I have learned that me and wife should talk/communicate a lot everyday to develop bonding/relationship.

2) I have learned that i should listen to my wife everyday so that she feels good without offering her solutions to her problems.

The book says woman just want to speak with someone close without that person offering solutions.

3) I have learned that i should not force my wife for s*x and before starting s*x, i should talk sweetly to her and engage in lot of foreplay.

4) I have learned that i should be a good father to her (and my) kids.

5) I have learned that i should give her flowers, chocolate and wine frequently.

6) i have learned that i should be totally committed to her.

7) I have learned during her periods, she is tired and i should step in and make food, clean house and take care of kids. Basically help her a lot during her periods.

8) I have learned i should have good humour sense to make my wife laugh.

9) I have learned to appreciate her by giving her details and using nice words.

Have i learned the right things from the book? I want great relationship with my future wife.

Woman advise needed.

Answer 1

Lmao at 3. Totally don't work for me though.

Hey, reading books are great, but that is just some b.s. Seriously, didn't you know that you are supposed to be a good father, be committed, have sense of humor, communicate with your wife and help her when she's sick? That is basics of any human relationship. Figure what you wife likes, maybe she doesn't like 'talk sweetly' and she's allergic to chocolates and flowers. Be creative, if you want to make your future wife happy, notice little things about her, be supportive, don't be possessive and all women are different so it all depends on her individual traits.

Answer 2

That pretty much covers it! One more thing; always be truthful with her no matter what your inner ego tells you. Never lie to her about anything or anyone.

Answer 3

I am a woman, and I will be the first one to admit...women are scary.

All this sounds great, but you have to take all that advice with a grain of salt. Remember that men and women are practically totally different creatures. We think, act, and react to like situations differently. I dont mean just different from men, I also mean different from other women. For example:  You come home with flowers "just because". Seems like a sweet idea to many women, but what about the woman who comes back with "What did you do now??"

I agee with the communication. Before anger sets in, its better to sit down and say "I have something bothering me" and go from there. When a woman has a problem, some, as I do, want some feedback. Its not about judgment, its about knowing you are listening to me and me coming to you for help. You will have to make a judgment when she wants to just vent and when she wants that feedback from you.

My biggest marital piece of advice is to pick your battles. Before you start an argument, ask yourself if its worth it. Is it worth it to complain that she purchased white bread instead of wheat?

I think its great that you want to make a good husband for someone, but 3/4 of the battle (figuratively speaking, of course) is knowing and understanding your spouse. Knowing when to be there when she needs you and when to back off and give her space.  

Answer 4

Definetally!  Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 5

Wow, it's a real pity that more men do not think like you. Just remember that a relationship works both ways and she should do so for you, as well. Good luck.

Answer 6

Well i think you're going to be a great husband. It sounds like you are really trying to make it work and thats what every woman wants  

Answer 7

yes u did hun, and i am proud of u that u took the time to learn so much about women, now if all men can take that same advice, and follow suit, we women would be very very happy, and fulfilled!

Answer 8

Hi there, well done for thinking about this a doing some research, your off to a good start.  I have a website that deals with this, I think there is  10 tips for a healthy relationship there, it might be useful

http://www.dream-life-coaching.com/relat...

follow the 10 tips link

good luck

Answer 9

Good advice but it should work both ways. Don't stress too much!

Answer 10

It sounds like you are a really good man to have gone and done your research on how to make your future wife happy. I wish more men would do that. You seem to have covered a lot of ground and you got some wonderful tips from your book. The only thing I would disagree with is "listening to her speak without offering solutions". If she is seeking your advice or opinion on something in deed give it to her. Being a good listener is a great quality to have but there is no harm in offering sound advice to someone you love. I think as women what can really bother us about men is talking with a man who does not seem concerned about our problems/issues; aka an emotionless man. So don't be scared to speak up and offer your opinion if she needs it, but you're doing a fine job, you're on the right path, good luck!

Answer 11

You've missed a few things Baby .,  but maybe you need a real teacher !  One that is very good in history! Don't be in such a rush! You are well on your way to a great future .  Ask yourself this ... What should she do in your new relationship?. It takes 2 .

Answer 12

Well youve learned alot every man should read that book, If you stick to it and dont mind doing those things to better and make everyones life easier you should be happy.. You sound great!!   lucky woman!!

Answer 13

I think you have learned a lot- I've be happily married for 21 years and my husband does most of this and a few added things (like hiding a note in my pocket- leaving a small stuffed bear on my driver seat etc..) It makes me feel very loved- he constantly tells me I look good and how special I am.

One thing someone shared with us--- Marriage is like a bank account when each partner deposit 100% and one partner needs to withdraw a little more there is still plenty left in the account.

I hope you wife also reads books on how to be a great wife because you are getting started on the right foot.

Answer 14

Based on your observations, I'd say that you're off to a great start.  Just remember all those things many years after you say "I do".  

Answer 15

Ever heard of hands on learning?

You can read books all day long, but until you actually face the problems and deal with it as it occurs you will learn nothing.

You cannot be molded like a robot in your marriage. I've been married 24 years to my wife and it has been up and down the entire marriage and you want to know why...because no matter how sweet or beautiful your wife is the least you do not expect is when depression sets in or your wife aquires an illness along the way.

What are the gurantees that your wife will be alright for the entire life your married???? You can't guarantee anything. Your subject to change and so is she. Maybe after she has children she develops depression than what?

My wife nearly died in the hospital from internal bleeding after the surgery went wrong and they had to cut her open again.

She has not been the same woman since, but in my eyes she is still my wife, but she is not the same woman I married 24 years ago.

She has gaiined allot of weight and she can't work anymore and she drinks allot of Coffee, but she is the Mother of my children and when she was younger she was that hot firecracker everybody wanted in bed, but today she is not a firecracker...she is my wife and at 58 yrs of age she looks like 64 already. She has drained allot over the years, but I love her and she is all I have. I have spent the last 25 years of my life with her.

All I can tell you is that no matter what you read or learn along the way of books...it's nothing like steering your own ship in the water as you sail that marriage. You may encounter sharks (affairs) who knows what will happen. What if she gets pregnant and the child isn't yours?

Trust me right now your saying this will never happen with my lady right? Wrong.........never say never. Expect the unexpected. My wife had an affair 20 years ago and got pregnant and she miscarriaged. Luck?  God only knows, but losing that child almost killed her mentally and I had to live through all that c**p and it wasn't even my child. I swear if I ever lose my wife I will never get married again. There's only one way out of marriage for the true people who remain married and that is death.

Living with a female that you call wife is the hardest job any man can take upon himself to do.

Get ready for battle.

I have graduated already. My wife and I have been through h**l and back. We are now starting to plan our final years together because we know that in the next 25 years if we live that long will be it for us.

Were all we have left now. You are just getting started. Good Luck and I do wish you the very best in your future with your chosen wife.