Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
*
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
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The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
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McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
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Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
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Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
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He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
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The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
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Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
*
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
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The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
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The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
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Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
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Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
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The plan was simple, like my mate Trev. But unlike Trev, this plan just might work.
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The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.
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"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her b*****s heaving like a student on 31pence-a-pint night.
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He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
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Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
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She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
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The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
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The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
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The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
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It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
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He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck reversing.
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She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
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She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
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She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
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Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
*
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
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