Grieving process ever really over?

Question

i lost my husband of 27yrs..... 3yrs ago.... to a sudden tragic death... he was pronounced by the time i arrived at the hospital.....

since i have remarried... which i never thought i would do.... i think i was trying too hard to go on with my life... and now, so many times i feel like it all comes back on me.. just as painful as when i heard the news the first time..... i feel like i'm on a roller-coaster most of the time... the pain really doesn't ease like they say (it will get easier with time) you just learn to cope and deal with it..... so.................

does the grieving process ever get easier?

are there any good books to help through such a sudden and unexpected loss?

i don't believe in taking meds so i don't want to see a dr so they can tell me i'm depressed or put me on some med..

Answer 1

I don't believe it's ever totally over.  My precious dad died suddenly and unexpectedly going on 9 years ago.  Although I do not grieve as hard or as intensely, I still grieve and miss him.  I have talked with my mother about this, and she said it is the same for her (she has not remarried).  She says she has mostly good days now, but every once in awhile, it all hits like it happened yesterday.  

I don't know why we are never "over it" totally, but in many ways I'm glad that we aren't.  We just learn to cope better.

About 6 months after Dad died, Mom attended a "GriefShare" Recovery Support Group through my brother's church that helped and comforted her tremendously.

Also, and most importantly, we are born-again Christians with the knowledge that we will see Dad again in heaven.  So that in itself has been the most comfort of all.  

It's just hard being down here without him to share with.

Answer 2

Medication may not be for you but therapy might. Maybe one on one.

Answer 3

The "Grieving" process is over (the endless crying, sleepless, fatigued days and nights). But alot of the time the pain never leaves. You never forget someone that dies, but you still have to learn to move on with your life. It seems like you rushed into that marriage to fill that large hole you had when your husband died. Of course I don't know your situation, the guy could be perfectly what you need, or you could end up hurting him. I must admit that I don't know of any GOOD books that may help you, but everyone heals at their own pace. Don't expect the pain to stop completely or for you to forget about him because we both know that isn't going to happen, but sometimes it helps to let it all out once in awhile. You SHOULD be able to talk to your husband about it, and spill everything to him.

I'm sorry for your loss. Take care.