Groom Wants A Certain Reception Hall?

Question

I'm getting married in 2010 and trying to find the right reception hall for us. My groom has made very little demands when it comes to the wedding. Yesterday he told me he wanted a certain reception hall. The reason is because an Aunt he was very close to use to do Bingo night there (she died before I met him) and although the owner is not offering us a discount or anything because of that, my groom would really like to have it there. I was fine with that, till I worked out the cost.

My father and mother have both said they would help, but only my father has given me $ amount, his parents and my mother have not. His step-mom said they would pay for the drinks and my mom has said she would pay for the dress and flowers. So right now the only $ amount I have to work with is my fathers.

The hall my fiance wants is the cheapest when it comes to drinks and rental of the hall, but you must use their catering and they are the most expensive place I have seen so far.

I have no problem with the hall other then the price. Although figuring in hall rental, food, cake, and the dj I am still under the budget my dad gave me, but there are still other things I need to figure in.

I mention to my fiance that they were the most expensive for catering and he said we didn't have to have it there, but I know it would make our day special for him and his mother (she hasn't been told yet though, she knows we're considering it).

#1. what should I do? should I go ahead and have it there and try to get everything else cheaper?

#2. My sister suggested asking the others for a $ amount, but his parents are on a budget and I don't think my mom is going to do a $ amount, just pay for what she said she would.

Please help!

Answer 1

Hi and congratulations!

If you like the hall, and it would mean that much to your fiance....I would go for it.

As I read it, you will have paid for you the following....

From your dad's money:

~ the hall

~ the food

~ the cake

~ the DJ

From your fiance's step mother:

~ the drinks

~ From your mom:

~ your dress

~ the flowers

That is great!  Yes, you will still need to get

~ photographer

~ invites

~ groom's tux

~ rehearsal dinner

~ ceremony costs including minister or judge and the marriage license

~ gifts for attendants

~ your transportation (if wanting anything special)

~ miscellaneous (your accessories, hair, makeup, etc.)

But, you can do a lot of the above at a reasonable cost, especially the invitations and the rehearsal dinner.

So, I would choose that hall.  So many times the groom has no say in things.  This is his wedding, too, so I think it would be very nice to have it in a location that is special to him.  

Good luck with your decision!

Answer 2

If that's the only thing that he has requested for the whole wedding then I would try and figure it into your budget by cutting down in other areas.

Is the price difference between other places huge?

Do the caterers have a less expensive package that you could use (e.g. Rather than have a sit-down meal you could have a finger food reception, or instead or 3 courses, have 2 courses and serve your wedding cake as dessert)?

Do they have any other specials- e.g. if you have your wedding on a particular day or at a certain time of year?

I wouldn't ask the others for more money.

Answer 3

I love the fact that your fiance has voiced an opinion on where to have the reception and picked a place that has sentimental value to him.  For that reason alone, you have to try and work it out to be there.

Here's what I would do - talk with the catering company about any deals they would offer on certain dishes.  Ask if you can bring in your own desserts to cut down on that cost.  Ask them if they offer discounts for 'off season' or certain days of the week.  You have plenty of time to work with them, so I cannot imagine that they wouldn't be able to work something out with you.  Besides, normally the bar bill is one of the most expensive tabs and if that is being covered by his parents, then you should be able to work out a reasonable deal with the catering company.

The other thing you can do is talk with the reception hall about your situation.  Odds are they are getting some kind of 'incentive' for making the catering company their exclusive company.  I would flat out ask them to give you a discount based upon their kick back from the catering company.  Explain the situation to them, and do it in a nice way, and it certainly can't hurt to ask.  Maybe they won't give you a discount on the price but instead they wil offer you additional services or items at no cost.  

I don't think you can ask the others for their specific amount.  But, you might want to get a ballpark estimate from your mom and see if you can work with her on the price she thinks she is giong to spend and then ask her if you come in much lower if she would consider letting you use the savings towards the reception.  But his parents sound like they are tight, and based upon that, they may not even realize how expensive the drinks might be.  So I suppose that it wouldn't hurt to ask them a ballpark about what they are budgeting for (knowing what the bar bill will be from the hall).  If they say 3000 and you know it will be only 1500, then ask them if you could use the other 1500 for the hall.  Since the hall really is for your fiance and his side of the family, perhaps they would be happy to turn over the remainder of what they had budgeted for.  On the other hand, if they say 500, then you might be in a bit of a pickle, and it's better to know your limits now.  People say they will pay for things until the bill comes up and then sometimes they tell you they can only pay a certain amount because that's what they were planning on.  Odds are, they have an idea of what they are planning on.  I'm sure if you chose a 10,000 Vera Wang dress your mom would have something to say about it (and if not then maybe buy one, get the money, then have a knock off made and use the cash towards the reception! jk).

I hope it all works out.  Don't stress too much, you've got plenty of time to work everything out!

Answer 4

hence, scre w it all and do what you want!

Answer 5

Hey! I completely understand it's hard when your working with a budget.. My fiance is the same way.. he makes very few suggestions as to what he really wants.. but when he does I try my best to incorporate it. It sounds like its really important to him.. so I would definately look at what you could cut costs on.. what if you made your own invitations? Or wedding favors? Or even centerpieces!? Would that save money!? Another thing is.. places like that make you use there caterers unless you use your own food.. is it possible to do a BBQ!? Or Beef on Buns.. or something that you guys could make and have family help make and bring so that you don't need to hire a caterer.. than you would be able to have the place.. but save money on food!? I am not sure what kind of wedding you are having.. or if thats elegant enough for what your looking for!? But bringing your own food is an option everywhere we have looked that makes you use caterers.. its the only way out of using them in some places!

No matter what you do.. I hope your day goes well for the both of u!

Answer 6

I am just going to get to the point

Your soon to be husband has asked for nothing but this one thing and his reason is very sincere and loving so I believe that you can make it work

Congrats on your marriage to be  

Answer 7

Get the location he wants, and you two pay yourselves.