Grounding of 10 year old?

Question

Just checking to see if you all think this punishment fits the crime. Overall, our 10 year old boy is a really good kid. Lately, he has been pushing limits, and we have followed through on pre agreed consequences. Today, we realized that he cheated on an assignment. We gave him a couple of chances to come clean about it, and he lied both times. When we confronted him about cheating and lying, he was not contrite and basically tried to turn it around to "our fault" for not sitting down with him to walk him through the assignment (we had told him we would sit down after he took at least one stab at it). We have now grounded him from Monday - Friday night... no playdates, electronics, or sports (which is the one thing he loves more than anything). We went for this punishment because we have tried taking just playdates away, and this seem to deserve more than that? Does this sound like too much?

Answer 1

sounds good. don't let him turn it around on you, it's not your fault.

Answer 2

I think you've meted out the punishment to fit the crime:

Denial of 3 big privileges for 5 days.  It's a good thing.

Recently my 8 yr old gave me serious verbal disrespect. The first time, I told him sternly. The second time (a week later) I realized that i had to take serious action:

Denial of 1 favorite privilege (Screen time) for 3 weeks without the possibility of parole.

He still sees the tv or computer when his sisters are playing but he doesn't get to take a turn.

I do not think this is too harsh.  I think if I am soft at this point, he will turn into an awful teen and a horrible adult!

Answer 3

Sounds good to me.

If one punishment doesn't work, you have to up the ante next time.

The last punishment we gave to our son was removal of everything but his clothes and his bed (and bedding) from his bedroom and left him a couple of books to read.

We did it for a week and he's behaved very well since...lol

Answer 4

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!!  Cheating is cheating and it doesn't matter what age!  He has to learn from right from wrong and cheating is totally wrong. At a university if you get caught cheating then  you get kicked out.

Answer 5

No, it is good that you showed him that cheating is wrong.  He will learn through that punishment and it may save him from cheating on something really important in the future.

Answer 6

We went through this with our oldest only she was letting her friend copy off of her paper and then when they got caught she lied and tried to cover it up.  i have discovered with the kids that if we take everything away from them all at once it doesnt get through to them as well as if we just take away the one thing that means the most to them.  For the crime I mentioned our daughter lost her cell phone for a month BUT she could earn it back earlier if she did community service for a week.  She got punished and knew we were serious in our threats but at the same time she had to help others for her punishment.  What you are doing with your son sounds fair, you gave him the opportunity to come clean and yet he still lied even more so he tried to blame you for his bad choice, if you let him off now then he will think he can do what he wants and blame someone else for it and not have any consequences himself for his actions.  I remember when my oldest was about 9 and my mom stopped by and I said my daughter wasn't speaking to us and mom told me well you must have done something right then and it was true.  Your son knows he was wrong he just doesnt want to give you the satisfaction of admitting it.

Answer 7

You know your child better than anyone for starters. Personal opinion - Punishment fits the crime.

My son is 10 and I have done exactly what you are doing. This was after some failed attempts of little by little taking 1 thing away per incident. His problem is not doing homework, he leaves it at school & lies about it. (His teacher & I picked up on this, our communication was frequent for a period of time until this started to resolve). The punishment and contact with his teacher helped my son know that I mean business.

Cheating is no good, however, lying is worse. For every action there is a consequence. They can be negative or positive as your son probably sees in his sports.

Teaching children about consequences is important. If you shrugg this off it is possible the actions could become worse.

As an adult if you cheat or lie about things the consequences have the potential to be far worse than those of being grounded from our friends, tv, sports and so forth. We are raising children, conditioning them to become responsible and well rounded adults!

If you find this punishment had no effect or too much of a negative effect on your son then you will go back & weigh your options for next time. Parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual, it's trial & error because each one is different.

Good luck & I give you kudos on calling your son out on BOTH cheating and lying.

Answer 8

thats about good but i think the best and most miserable for him is to confront his teacher and for him to tell him/her wat he did

Answer 9

Give it a break. You are probably punishing him a bit to much. Because kids cheat and lie once in a while. I dought that youve never cheated or lied. Its just plain old human nature.

Answer 10

yes, just take away the 1 thing that is most valuable to him - - sports, but only for a few days. But what I would do is make him do the assignment over and over again like 20 times. This will help him learn the material too (double whammy)

Answer 11

i think that it's not really going to help you much, it will only help you to keep the distance between you and your child increase. because if you will just punish him like this, it will just cause more hatred of him for you... i think it is better if you let him do everything and just tell him all the times that cheating is a bad thing, and you should not do that if you really want to be a millionaire in your life, because all children like to be so reach... so i think this will work, but don't punish him like an animal... please... because it really sounds soooo terrible... because he is just 10 yrs man... come on...

Answer 12

Not at all, if taking a little doesn't work, take more untill they realize your serious about it.

Answer 13

I don't believe in grounding children.  He cheated on an assighment, then it is up to his teachers to take care of the problem not you.  At 10 years old his schoolwork is his responsiblity, not your's if he doesn't do it or he cheats that's his problem.  Why should you suffer through the grounding period with a bored, whiny child?  Or is he the type of child with every source of entertainment known to man in his bedroom?  Another thing you are probably overlooking is the fact that he is probably entering puberty as well, his attitude is going to change quite a lot over the next few years and it sounds as if you're ill prepared for it.   But grounding.  Nope never have never will and I have three kids.

Answer 14

Well, I wouldn't take away the sports, but other than that, go for it!

Answer 15

If your child isn't cowering in the corner in the fetal position when you come home, you fail at being parents.

Answer 16

Do you mean you took away his watching sports or playing sports?  Didn't quite get that...

Overall I think you did good.......But I would tell him that if he did good Monday thru Thursday,  with being grounded by the rules, then perhaps Friday you may let up on a sport !

That way, Monday thru Thursday should just sail by....

And you may also show interest by saying that you two are going to take turns with helping with homework everynight.

Especially since he thought you two did not walk him through the previous assignment........OK...Now you will.......It won't take a lot of time   And besides, it is a one on one time with him anyway...And homework can be fun for all sometimes..

Good luck to all.)..Just be thankful he isn't a teenager yet!!

(OMG) Oh My God !  The nightmares yet to come.........Fill him with your love now, because later he will just give 1 worded answers to all your questions.....