Growing <span title="up......................................">up..........................</span>

Question

how exactly do you know when you've grown up or not? i'm 17 and i turn 18 in september. i can hardly consider myself a kid anymore but i don't really feel like an adult. i'm dependent on my parents for just about anything (i have no means of earning my own money as nobody would want to employ somebody as useless as me). they're very restrictive of me. at my age this shouldn't be this case but what can i do? they own me. i'm still weak and cowardly and cry like a baby. i've lived quite a sheltered life as a result of my difficulties (i have asperger's and dyspraxia). most of my life has been spent indoors. i never got the chance to grow or develop my personality. i still have no clue what i want for the future (other than death). i'm very badly educated (i never managed to finish school). i never really learned how to form relationships, either of the pletonic or romantic kind (i haven't even kissed let alone had s*x). i should have my life together by now but i don't. i think there's something wrong with me. something i can't put right. something i don't think i'm ever going to be able to put right.

Answer 1

U r passing through adolescence. This is a stage when u r growing to be an adult. In 3-4 yrs, when people around u start calling u and reminding u that u r no longer a boy, u r grown up and expect u to behave like that. When u r really grown up mentally &amp; physically, no one &#039;d call u a boy. When people around u feel that u &#039;d take responsibility of the family as well, u r grown up. From a grown up person there r expectations and when u r fulfilling them , u r really grown up till then not. It&#039;s not just age or physical build that makes u grown up.  Not all r educated or finish school but they grow mentally and learn from their surroundings. God has given u mind along with body. U can think and act. First and foremost thing is that u should learn first to look after urself. Once u r capable of doing that, u r really growing mentally. In any case u r going to grow physically and I&#039;m sure, u &#039;d find a girl too, who &#039;d like u for what u r . No two persons r same. U r different from others. If u r lacking somewhere, u can excel too. But u have to find out that in u. Only then u can ride the road to sucess. With right approach and determination , u too can move mountain. Life has to be planned and u have to do that. Self assessment is very essential and it has to be done correctly. FIND FOR URSELF WHAT U CAN DO AND WHAT NOT..  

Answer 2

Well,first of all,it takes a lot of education to write a question like this,so your education can&#039;t be that bad!and there is not one single useless soul in this world,so you must have got yourself confused with something else!:)

I&#039;m actually 18 myself(since february)and I&#039;m still fully dependent on my folks as well,and nobody seems to want to employ me either,even with no illnesses.At least you have an excuse,I don&#039;t!and funnily enough,I haven&#039;t kissed or had sexual relations either,neither have I had a boyfriend or a constant best friend.

But I still consider myself grown up,maybe not like most people but grown up nonetheless!I do a lot for myself,like wash my clothes,I do housework and other chores.I work hard in school and basically do all that I can.

However,those things don&#039;t make you grown up,it&#039;s different for everyone!So you could start doing small things around the house and then your folks will notice that you are becoming responsible and GROWING UP and will start to give you bigger responsibilities and you will slowly grow up in your own way.Remember,they will never know if you don&#039;t show them that you are ready for bigger responsibilities!

Good Luck with everything!

Answer 3

Hey hunni

To be honest I have no idea when you realise you&#039;ve grown up, I guess part of it though is just living through experiences and gaining a wider knowledge of the world. I don&#039;t think anyone really grows up because say like when I am 60 I would probably still find it great to go to Disneyland - bit of a weird example but you know what I mean. I also think that you have very low self esteem which I doubt is helping you &#039;grow up&#039;, you shouldn&#039;t be so hard on yourself. Getting a job is really hard, believe me I have been trying for like 4 weeks now and noone has gotten back to me :(. As for the future, I bet you have alot going for you so please don&#039;t wish upon death because it&#039;ll be the most awful thing you shall exprience, whether it&#039;s a friend, family member or yourself (I hope that none of this happens to you) but life is for living, don&#039;t be down all the time, okay you didn&#039;t finish school so try and get a job (your not useless because everyone is good at something). In relationship talk don&#039;t feel bad because you&#039;ve never kissed someone or had s*x before - it is not a competition and if it is any consolation I was 17 (still am) when I received my first kiss :) but like I said it&#039;s not a competition and it will all come in good time. Please don&#039;t say there is something wrong with you because there isn&#039;t relationships take alotof time to develop and it will happen for you in no time, look on the bright side your single and ready to mingle :) If you want my advice write down all the things you would like to achieve and then how you can achieve them, if you have a plan in life then you&#039;ve at least got something and trust me in no time you will feel miles better about yourself - just don&#039;t give up. You&#039;re 17 nearly 18 which means you are still young so live life to the full and seize the moment :)

x*x

Answer 4

first you need to find some self-respect

you are laboring under the delusion that you are unable to do anything

I would like to tell you about a friend of mine

he fell off of a cliff and broke bones in 105 places

he died five times on the operating table and lost a leg below the knee and his other foot

he refuses to accept disability and works as a college professor and heating and air installer

you do have problems but you have a way to solve them if you are willing to face them and change what can be changed and accept what can&#039;t

Answer 5

look on the website for connexions in your area its for 16-19 year olds. they can advise you on work your own home with support if needed, and money. If you really want to get Independence then speak to your parents and tell them you want to explore the world as an independent person when your 18 then they have no legal rights anymore you are your own person. Think of all the things you could encounter and people you could meet through support groups and start to get excited about your life ahead, you really have to want it to go ahead. Be strong and live your life as full as you can as you only have one, and people who love you will want to see you succeed and enjoy your life. Good luck :-)

Answer 6

Seek professional therapy.

Answer 7

First off, if you want to be independent then you will have to finish your high-school education.  Look into alternatives to conventional public schools if you must (distance education, homeschooling, e-school, whatever you can find).  A high-school education will make it much easier to get a job.

On the social/emotional side with things, you need to find someone to talk to that can help you through your issues.  High schools usually offer free counseling, so that&#039;s something to think about.  You&#039;re not going to become super-popular overnight, but a counsellor can give you strategies to use in order to make more friends and develop healthy relationships.  Your Asperger&#039;s probably doesn&#039;t help in this field, but it is certainly something that can be worked with.  As well, if you get some counseling it may help you work out your negative feelings toward yourself (you sound depressed to me, but I can&#039;t make that assumption as I&#039;m not a trained professional)--this in turn will make you more outwardly positive, which will help you make friends.

So yeah, in a nutshell--finish school, get some counseling, make some friends, THEN worry about getting a job, becoming independent, and forming romantic relationships.  The pieces will fall together if you approach them in the right order.

Good luck.

Answer 8

When everyday is the same.... when 80% of your pay packet is accounted for by tax/rent/travel/family.... when you are just another faceless rat in the race....

Then you will be grown up, my son.