Growing up in two different cultures... your opinion?

Question

I was born in the states in 1975, my Me was 7 months pregnant with me when my Ba and two sister ran for the "boat". My Ba was in the South Vietnamese Navy so staying was not an option. Having said that, I grew up in two cultures. I have experiences the good and the bad, the racism from the ignorant people to disappointments from Vietnamese elders. Growing up as a child and not understanding why kids were making fun of me. From being the black sheep and not your ordinary Vietnamese girl (smoking, drinking, partying) to a successful adult. However, I look back on the strict Vietnamese family I grew up in and during that time, hated every moment but now cherish that my parents made me learn to read, write and speak Vietnamese which now when I have a family will pass that on to them.

Your experiences...

Answer 1

I know how you feel, I'm an American born Chinese... often referred to as "Juk Sing" bamboo stick by the older Chinese commuity. Not a very pleasant position to grow up, with a feeling of a lack of acceptance from both cultures "American and Chinese".

The term "juk sing" means "caught between the notch of a bamboo stick" in Cantonese. It's also how immigrants disparagingly refer to their U.S.-born counterparts: those who genetically share the same ethnicity but are seen as being forever caught in the middle, not fully American because of their looks, but not truly Chinese because of their American attitudes and their lack of proficiency in the Chinese language.

___________

I've spent almost my whole life trying to find who I am. I've taken courses in Asian History, I've taken courses in Cantonese and Mandarin. I've learned and taught Martial Arts and volunteered for many cultural events. I even fell in love with a woman from mainland China. My wife grew up in China during the cultural revolution. I've seen much prejudice from growing up in the US and some dissension from being accepted into the Asian community. As hard as I try, the sad reality is that  I'll always be considered "Juk Sing". I've come to accept who I am and a partial acceptance is better than no acceptance at all. We have 3 children and they will grow up learning about the culture and language of a country half way around the globe. They are also "Juk Sing" it's a sad burden that I've passed to my children. I can only try my best to teach them to appreciate their diversity and not to forget the rich culture of where they came from.

Answer 2

I think growing up in two cultures is so lucky.  You see more sides of the world that loads of people don't have a clue.  You should pass on what you have learned and be proud of it.

Don't forget to pass on the great eats too.

Cheers.

Answer 3

Em Kim,

I had to laugh while reading your question. I am an American. My wife and (step) daughter are Viet. We are expecting a son this July.

My wife and children will visit America every summer,  I will watch the children like a hawk. I really believe in the old ways. If I had gotten caught "partying", My A** would  have been in trouble.. If my children get caught being stupid, Ba Xa will lower the hammer like Thor, of Nordic Mythology.

America is a great country. Unfortunately, I believe it is morally bankrupt.

We are both "old farts". Would you prefer your children to grow up in an American or Viet culture?

I prefer the culture that instills respect for elders and their experiences in life.

They've been there,,, and done that.

Answer 4

like you i was born in the states....strict family in a vietnamese way and yet very americanized was taught english and not vietnamese at a young age because there were none around me and no i was never make fun of until i moved and there were lots of vietnamese people and boy did they make fun of me because i have no idea how to speak viet nor any holidays like tet beleive or not...i do regret that i can't read or write vietnamese but trying to learn it but i can speak it learning from friends..and i can eat any vietnamese food since young?? now my mom is trying to get me back to my roots...but i consider myself as vietnamese american rather than american vietnamese and later on i teach it to my kids

Answer 5

I was born and raised in Vietnam. We didn't want to leave the country until we couldn't live with the communist any longer then we have to fled. I think I have the best of both worlds. However, I experience racism every day from strangers in this country and quite honestly, I don't like the US. I often tell people that Vietnamese don't want to leave Vietnam. We had no choice but left everything behind to come to this strange land. Vietnamese people have strong tie with our land, our ancestors, our family, our culture, our language and our heritage. I don't really care if I fit in with this society. I don't smoke, I don't drink. I don't go wild and crazy because I live in the US and I don't have to worry about anyone criticizing my parents if I did anything wrong. I still live and practice what my parents taught me that we have to have integrity, be honest and have self respect. I have a few friends that I can truly call friends. Most of my friends are my sisters, my brothers, my nieces and nephews. I have wonderful parents who I always look up to. Although I'm an American citizen but I always tell people I'm Vietnamese. Sometimes they told me "but you're a US citizen, you're American". Yeah! tell that to those racist people who see me that I'm not white. I shouldn't I deny my roots. I don't care if people accept me or not. I still have my family, my culture, my language and my home (Vietnam) I'm only American on paper.

What happened to Vietnam more than 30 years was uncall for. 3 millions Vietnamese died for absolutely nothing because someone was afraid the communist would spread through SE Asia. It didn't, ok? Not to mention million more died on the Pacific sea just to find freedom. It breaks my heart when I watch boat people on TV begging for help when other boats/ships kept passing by. Vietnamese people suffered so much but all we asked that to be left alone. Although I don't like the communist, I'm glad that was over so Vietnamese people can live in peace.

I'm so glad that I was born as Vietnamese. I'm so glad that our culture taught us to be strong, independent and fight for what we believe. I'm so glad that we never back down, roll over and play dead when someone threaten us. I'm so glad that we keep up with our traditions and raise children to respect our elderly and take their advices. Most of all, I'm proud to be Vietnamese.