Growing up with a negative mother...? Be human and help!?

Question

I am 16 years old.

I have a mother who has NO SELF ESTEEM, NO CONFIDENCE, and is VERY negative.

She criticizes EVERYTHING i do.

I didnt grow up to my potential, and now i realise this is because of her low self esteem.

I spent my life ALONE with her my father was ALWAYS out and i have no one to talk to, yet

I'm the only child. You think thats cool?

Not in my situation.

I realise i have no social skills whatsoever, and very little self esteem myself.

I want to live as a normal 16 year old

she gets to my nerves

HELP!!

Answer 1

my mother is alot like that, I'm 23 now and i don't have any contact with her anymore and ive had a nicer life because of it.

but...as you re only 16 theres not alot you can do.

i would try and get myself out and socializing as much as i can groups, voluntary work, weekend job...anything that gets you out.

i still feel sick to my stomach when i go into a room with people i don't know or something ive not done before but i grin and bear it and within the hour I'm fine, laughing and joking and chatting away to people.

just because your mothers the way she is doesnt mean you have to be too....lead by example get yourself out and maybe she'll be encouraged to do the same and might lighten up as a result. x

Answer 2

try to make some frends, or you could talk to an aunt or uncle  

Answer 3

lol..my mom is the same way..and ima 15..and an only child too...my dad wastn around much..so i know exactly how you feel :)..i just want you to know that you are not alone...lol..and it could be way worse..so dont start to feel sorry for yourself :P..but yea...no, i dont really think its fair..but sometimes things just happen like this..i dont want to sound all religous are anthing..but god puts us in situations like this to help us draw closer to him..and he knows we are capable of handling it..and you never know..you may be in a situation..and this whole 'deal' will help you out :)..lol..i dont know about you..but ima really optomistic..i dont know how..lol...but i am...:)..haha..so yea..lol..just try to make friends..and make yourself friendly..lol..i used to be like you..then ima all like f*** it..ima not going to let my mom ruin my life..and then..idk...life just got better for me ..cuz i made it better :)..and haha..i actually have a VERY VERY high self esteem..haha..but yea..anytime you want to talk you can contact me on myspace(www.myspace.com/filled_with_awes... on facebook(just look up veronica palomo)..or email me at [e-mail]  :D.

Answer 4

Join a sport.

Join Band.

Join a club.

You meet lots of people.

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel. I've lost a lot of friends lately. My mom has gotten better, but she's so negative about my "relationship" with this guy and it's really affecting everything. I'm 15, and I'm going into 10th grade. I start school in 15 days too. I'm also an only child. My dad is around, but he's not much help because he drinks a lot or just agrees with whatever my mom says. You need to tell her that her low self esteem bothers you because you don't like to see her like that, and it's affecting your life, and you want the both of you to be happy.

Answer 6

i kinda know how you feel!

my mom is pretty much the same way. But i do have my dad around every once in a while(he travels a lot with his job) which helps me out a little. I am also not an only child,i have a little brother, who is pretty much my life. He has even called me mommy every so offten(he is 5 and a half years younger then i am and I'm 15). Its hard i know. My mother is the reason i don't want kids because of my low self-esteam that i got from her! but i have realized that if you let that slow you down that you will turn out the same! you have to not want to be like your mother! you have to try to be different and show everyone who you are! It took me a while to make friends, but you just have to try to come out of your shell and just talk to people. start trying to put like study groups together with some kids in your class(haha although after a while there won't be any studying it will be just hanging). all you have to do is show yourself that you want to change and in time you will!!

Answer 7

You and I have similiar problems. I grew up with loving parents, but neither of them are conventionally social people, so I had really no one to learn from. I idolized my sibling, but she took advantage of this, and she constantly put me down and made me feel inferior to her. I was a shy, but lively child, but after a while, I became more anti social. After a while, due to low self esteem and lacking mature social skills, communicating with others became more difficult. But the thing is, people reach a certain point in their life, that no matter what caused their problems, they need to start taking responsibility for their own lives and stop blaming others. Your mom might be draining for you, but you need to get out there and learn how to talk to others through experience. If you didn't learn then, you need to learn now. You might have low self esteem, but no one will know if you act confident. Gaining confidence is a gradual process, but if you identify your problems, realize their roots, and realize that you cannot continue blaming people for your problems, and try to change, you are on your way to recovery.

Answer 8

Talk to a counselor at your school.  They are there to help and it is confidential.