Growing up with rules or free?

Question

which as parents or kids do you honestly think is better...

an over protecting parent?

an average 'talk to your kid' parent?

and friend parent?

or a parent who gives their kids freedom, while helping them only when they ask?

and why?

Answer 1

an over-protective parent,a  talk to your kid parent...and that is because I turned out great and I had these kinds of parents.They were overprotective at some times and then talked to me other times. I am going to be that kind of parent to my daughters for the simple fact that "friend parents" usually end up having the children that do stuff with them(not all tho) like drugs and drink with them because they are tryin to be the"friend" instead of the parent. Along with the last kind of parent up there. I do not agree at all with that..I can see a little leniency with teh child but letting the chlid do whatever whenever and however they want with no ??s asked is just NOT a good option to me. There are too many idiots,perverts,murderers,rapists,etc...... there to let my daughters run absolutely wild with no boundaries or curfews or anything. It may seem ideal to the child to have this kind of parent because it means complete and total chaos and freedom for the child,but the first time something bad happens while the "friend parent" or the other type of parent is doing whatever while the child is doing whatever,the parent is going to be mind boggled as to how something like that could have happened to their baby... sorry and I am not tryin to offend but too many people are tryin to be friends to their kids instead of a good parent and it will eventually take its toll on both parties. As  I said earlier the first two types are how my parents were and I'm glad for it because my friends all had the other parents and most of them are now junkies(some in rehab) and drunks and most do not have thier chlidren due to CPS gettin involved or live moochign off their parents because they can not get a job or are just too d**n lazy to do it...I'm glad I did not end up like them!

Answer 2

Loving our kids enough to teach them right from wrong, to be respectful, to be careful, to be accountable early in life will hopefully prevent them from learning the hard way later in life.  

I am responsible for protecting my kids, maybe that makes me an over protecting parent?

I enjoy talking with my kids, maybe that makes me a talk to your kid parent?

I enjoy having fun family time with my kids, maybe that makes me a friend parent?

I have to give my kids freedom to learn and make mistakes,

maybe that makes me a help them only when the ask parent?

I am all of the above and much much more.

Only love can answer the little ones who have all the world to learn.

Answer 3

we have to prepare our children for life in general and life has rules.  find a happy medium, relax, and enjoy parenthood.

Answer 4

I had an over-protecting parent. I'm the average parent. I think that while children need structure, they also need some freedom.

Answer 5

What about a great mix of all three?

Children need to be protected from certain experiences that can severely mentally scar them for life. There's a difference between being over-protective and over-bearing. Communicating with your child is fantastic. You want your child to become comfortable with discussing things with you as you want to become comfortable discussing things with your child.

Though, most kids consider being "friends" with your parents "lame", I've found that as I've gotten older, my parents are my biggest support system.

Answer 6

Option 2. Anymore it seems like a lot of paretns just let their kids run wild. I am deffinately going to be  more  

"overprotective" than modern parenting standards. Kids have no business raising themselves. Thats why they have parents.

Answer 7

there is no single method that is best for all kids, but if your Mom has found the ideal system for you then she must be a great Mom

Answer 8

overprotecting ....period

Answer 9

It is not overprotecting your kids to have rules and guidelines.  It's only overprotecting if you try to shield them from everything they might encounter in the world.

A 'talk to your kid' parent in my book is okay, so long as talking to their kids means setting them straight when they need to be.

A friend parent is no-go.  You can love your children, talk to them when they need to and everything else.  But people who try to befriend their kids tend to let them do whatever.

And a parent that gives their kids free reign is a moron in my book.  Kids need structure and specific boundaries, otherwise they will not know what to do with themselves.

Answer 10

I think a good parents knows how to gauge what a child needs. Some kids need more structure than others. I personally go from one to the other depending on the situation. I also think the more my children are exposed to the "outside world" the more they become able to face it, so I encourage them to try as many things as they want, with certain guidelines so they develop their own judgement and earn my trust in the process, which gives them more freedom also. It's all related, really.

Answer 11

I had an extremely overprotective parent growing up.  I was always a curious kid, and def. a free spirit.  While home, I felt suffocated and scrutinized at all times.  It was just such an unhappy atmosphere. I decided to leave home at 15 and my 2 sisters basically followed suit, one leaving at 16 and the other at 17.  I never looked back, and have done fine though I def. met my obstacles.  

I am now 25, recently married and having my first baby.  I think about this subject too! I would hate to alienate and push my kids away like my parents did... children need leeway to make life's mistakes while they're still under their parents protection!  They need the support to learn how to bounce back, because life is all about bouncing back.

Answer 12

That's a great question. Heres some input for thought:

In the US children are generally raised strictly with the restraints gradually removed as they mature.

In Japan children are generally unrestrained when young with the social restraints increased as they mature.

Whose adults are better balanced individuals?

Hint: Japanese teens have a much higher suicide rate.

Balance is important; where does it lie?