Guilt of past abortion?

Question

Well I am 21 and I have 3 beautiful kids. When i was 15 I had got pregnant. When my parents found out the told me that i was to have an abortion they would not have a baby living in their house. i was devastated and cried and cried. at the time i didnt know my rights. my parents said if i didnt have it i wouldnt be able to live with them. so as they demanded i had an abortion. definitely not by choice. so lately i have been feeling really guilty and depressed about it. i've been crying a lot lately. when it happened i just told myself god took my child back to heaven. i'm really having trouble with this. is there anywhere that can help me with abortion counseling? its almost 7 years later and although its bothered me before it has never been this bad

and please do not make any remarks about how wrong abortion is....i already know and feel bad enough please dont try to make it worse

Answer 1

I myself can not imagine the pain and guilt that you may feel. I would suggest going to a church and talking to a clergy member. If god can forgive you (which he will) you can forgive yourself. It may take away some of the guilt. Besides its your parents fault not yours.

I did have a miscarriage a year ago. It was devastating to me. A friend of mine told me that the baby would keep trying to come back untill it finally made it. So perhaps the baby that was aborted became your first child.

Answer 2

You might want to try to find a family therapist or just a therapist in general. That's probably the best route if you feel like you have no one to talk to.

Answer 3

well, you know, if you hadnt have had that abortion, you very possibly may not have the three kiddos you have know.  everything happens for a reason.

Answer 4

I have a friend who was pushed into an abortion by her parents when she was young as well.

She now has 3 kids and loves them so much. She named the little one she lost. and Everyday on his due date she thinks about him says a prayer and thanks God for the 3 she has.  She knows things happen for a reason. I dont think your heart ever heals from something like that but you can think about the baby, pray for him/her and know that God has you In his hands as well as that little baby.

If you can talk to your husband or partner about this openly it would probably help the healing process a bit. You do need someone you can mourn, cry, vent, etc  to.

Good luck and my prayers for you

Answer 5

Maybe this was a good thing that you didn't have your child then. I myself am semi-against abortion (only for it if the woman was raped, has HIV, etc.) and would be doing the same thing as you if I had had an abortion. But you were only 15 years old... caring for that child would have been your parents responsibility and not yours, whether you want to believe it or not. You were a child that was about to have a child. It would have messed up your social life, your school life, and your home life. Having that baby would have had more negative than positive, or that's what I believe. Don't feel bad about it. It was not your decision, it was your parents. You were very young and had no choice, and your child forgives you. It is in heaven, in God's hands now. Be happy that you were blessed with 3 children and find a way to forgive yourself and your parents.