Guy A or guy B? Advice please. Please dont be rude. Thank you

Question

I have been on and off with 'Guy B' for almost 7 years now, and teh only reason we broke up was because of the long distance. We met in the military and it was instant connection. We got to know each other over the years via phone and email and internet. All of our relationships have not worked out just cuz we still love each other. We have each tried new relationships since we have come to terms of not bein together since he is always deployed.

I am in a relationship now with 'Guy A'. Sometimes Im happy but sometimes Im not. I know thats what relationships are about, but I know deep down, I will never be happy until I have closure with 'Guy B' or we give it a try in person, which is what 'Guy B' wants.

But is it fair to 'Guy A' and his daughter to break up with him to take a chance with 'Guy B'. I love them both, and Im confused.

Im 25 years old, on my own and just scared of hurting someone, and at the same time, tired of trying to make others happy. Thanks.

Answer 1

Dating some one with a kid seems kind of hard to me, as does a long distance relationship (especially military), but It doesn't seem like Guy B ever really worked out. I think I would stick with Guy A and talk to Guy B about what he thinks. Guy A sounds better for you, if you're tired of trying to make others happy. I don't know the whole situation though, so I'm not sure if this is helpful.

Answer 2

yea i kno what u mean

Answer 3

Girl. Your in a tight spot. But I dont think its something you need to stress over about.

Its clear that you are confused right now. Your split between the two.

But this is just my suggestion. I think you should break it off with Guy A and wait til you can get that personal closure with Guy B.

You really need to think about yourself in this position. Is it going to help you health wise to be going through this all the time? I had an army boyfriend and til this day we are still friends, but while I was dating him my life was a mess. I always felt like having someone close to hold me and kiss me, which caused me to come across lots of temptations, but I got through it because I loved him. But now that I think about it, was it a healthy relationship with him? No. It really wasnt because I was always in need of someone to care for me and hold me.

To be perfectly honest, I think you should hold off on both relationships because one is causing you alot of pain from his distance, and the other isnt fullfilling your every need.

You need to come to good terms with Guy B and you need to explain all the personal problems that are running through your mind with Guy A.

Once both are taken care of, you will have a clear mind to think about what you really want.

Hope I helped.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

do what you want, cuz in the end, it's YOUR life and you deserve to be happy in it, Life is too short to try to be pleasing everyone, just tell guy A that you just have some personal issues you need to take care of, and go on with guy B, if B doesn't work, then you KNOW you can try to make it work with A, if he's still waiting for you, however, if he's not, you lost nothing...seeing that you weren't completely content with him to begin with...so go with your feelings...it's worth a try =) good luck!

Answer 5

that is not a right decision to make bt you have to think of it if you are going to be miserable if you stay with guy A? If you are then you will make THEM miserable which is a lot worse than you telling them now that you  need some time off to figure things out.

YOu are not just with the guy A you are being with his daughter and being a part of her life too ... that might be too much to handle sometimes, plus you said you are tired of making others happy.

So sit down and think about what YOU want to do and where YOU want to be in 5 yrs! with guy A ? or guy B? Its better to hurt a litte with guy A than in few yers later which will be even harder for him adn the girl.  Also, will you be able to live your life if you never find out how it will be with guy B?

Think about it in a long run and i am sure the right answer will come to you.

Answer 6

Well i personally think it depends on how much you love that person or how much that person means to you. OR! i think it depends on how much you think that person cares or loves you. Personally i would pick Guy B

Answer 7

i think you should stay with guy a and try to work things out. guy b does'nt sound like anybody you should continue to pursue. just talk to him and let him know you are with someone else now and that it is over. army guys make for hard relationships. and it sounds like you already kinda have a family with guy a. don't ruin a good thing.

Answer 8

ok i would be confused too

but u have to be fair to guy A becuae if he loved u but still had feelings for another girl u would be upset that hes still with u

even though u have a chance of notseein guy B in person its still not right for u to be with guy a and be unhappy

i say give ita try with guy b in person or break up with guy a and give it time to forget about guy b and move onto another realationship that u are always happy in and just not partcially

Answer 9

is it fair to guy "a" to lead him on when he is obviously just a substitute to only do more damage when you eventually do leave.  And you know your going to leave eventually or you would have already resolved this issue.

Good luck to everybody.

Answer 10

RUDE

Answer 11

Simple, please choose one. for god made adam and eve not adam and eve and steve!! youll always have this problem w/ infedility if you continue your life this way. give your all to one person you can both benefit from it. it's not to say you cant date and explore and find what youre looking for but i say dont make a commitment then. how can you really feel free w/ in your self and your life if youre dipping and dabbing between two guys? it's just not fair, but im sure its fun right? be careful girl you might be the one to get hurt in the end..

Answer 12

You said deep down you know you will never be happy until you have closure with Guy B.  So there!  You know what you want, and you'll hurt Guy A more if you stay with him than if you dump him for Guy B.  Would you want to be with someone who was only dating you out of obligation?