Guys. Do you / Did you feel any natural desire to have kids?

Question

Hi. Did you (if you already have them) or do you (if you don't have any) feel any natural desire to have kids?. I'm 28 and on one hand i'm scared if i choose not to marry / have kids i will regret it in the future. But truth is i feel no natural desire to have children.

It also scares me that should i choose to have them with a future partner how / if i will cope?. I'd hate to join what seems to be the masses and leave the children fatherless ..... either due to my inability to cope or my partner cheating on me (which would result in us splitting),

Answer 1

I am 32 and my wife is expecting our 5th.  We never thought we would have 5 kids but I am as excited about this one as I was about the first.  Sure life is different when you have kids but I couldn't imagine it any other way.  You go about your business with a different purpose in mind and it is great.

Answer 2

Absolutely. Ever since i was a tiny baby, the reason i was put on this world, to me, was to make people laugh & be a mother.

But i know plenty of people that didnt get the desire until they were much older, or never got it and don't regret it, however i know some that do.

You might find in less than a year you have a burning desire, probably when you are exposed to it more?

Good luck!

Answer 3

My husband never wanted children and luckily neither did I, so will opted out of the norm and have a childfree life. Works for us, we have an excellent marriage (as you have no one else to consider), great social life and 3 holidays a year. If you want children fair enough but a lot of people especially men get rail roaded into having children and regret it.

Just remember you do not have to have children, it not the law.

Answer 4

well i'll tell you i'm in my early twenties and i have never had a desire to have children. but i'm female. i don't know about males.  

Answer 5

I used to have a boyfriend who was desparate for kids.  It was all he wanted.  It was a big put off, especially because I think he only wanted this because he was so insecure.

I know another man who had no desire for any.  Now he has 3.

It depends on the character.

Answer 6

You're still young...my partner at 31 still had doubts but he had a desire to have kids then...we all have dobts but if you are with the right person then it will be a choice you make together...but the doubts dont go away even when you have kids! You are always afraid you are not good enough...or even of a relationship failure.

Answer 7

I don't think most of us have much desire to have kids.  Especially the way we see so many other men unhappy with kids or what happens when we get railroaded from our kids during separation or divorce.

However, we usually think with our smaller head before our bigger head.  This usually results in 'accidents' with girlfriends and wives who were wanting kids in the first place.

Thus, the world is filled with plenty of kids.  

Answer 8

my boyfriend was the one who wanted kids and we talked about it and

i thought it would be nice to have kids with him.

ever other guy i met was an *** and i couldn't ever see them being a parent.

but not everyone has kids, it might not be for you.

don't sweat about it.

if one day you feel ready, then you feel ready and secure enough to settle down and start a family.

but some people just get married and thats it and they never regretted not having children.

:)

x

Answer 9

I am answering on behalf of my husband.

He was 29 when I met him. I already had been married and had 4 children. He had never lived with anyone or been in a "proper" relationship - you could say he was a little bit of a free spirit.

Within 18 months we were married and trying for our first - he was desperate to have kids. However if you ask him if he ever imagined he would be where he is now he will say that he felt exactly like you have described.

Time will tell. Just don't rule anything out or over-analyse the hypothetical to the point of fearing it.

Answer 10

Yes. I always figured that once I found the right person and settled down, that having kids was the next step. I come from a big family, enjoyed spending time with my siblings and father and knew I wanted a family like mine some day. I'm 31yrs and have a 5.5yr daughter and twin 17m daughters. I love being a dad and regardless of what happens in the future, I will always be around.  

Answer 11

Yup, I sure did! I wanted to be a mom from the time I was a little girl. I waited until after I was married for a few years and we now have 2 teenagers, who are the light of our lives.

Don't worry...you may or may not decide to have kids. Don't feel pressured. Not everyone wants to have a family and that's O.K. You will know when you are with the right person and when/if the time is right to have children. :)