Guys: HELP! How do I let him down gently?

Question

I have known this guy for a couple years now and just within the last 6 months we have become closer friends. He is not physically attractive to me and I truly see him as a just a friend. Now, from what my friends have told me and what it seems, he has developed a crush on me and it seems that he really likes me a lot. This guy is such a sweetheart and I really don't want to break his heart or make him feel bad but I feel that the only way not to lead him on is to tell him that I don't like him like he likes me. I really don't want to date him and I don't want to ruin our friendship.

How do I tell him without hurting his feelings?

Answer 1

As a guy, you really can't. It's just too embarrassing to continue hanging out with that person that you like, after that person, no matter how gentle, tells you that she doesn't like you the same way you like her. That's just the reality of it.

Answer 2

well, the problem is that he hasn't asked u out yet so u could decline. he's building up this friendship into something it isn't... convincing himself that you like him. I'd say perhaps while you're talking or hanging out or doing whatever u do together steer the conversation into relationships or dating and voice your interest in someone who isn't him. then he can do whatever he wishes with that info. other than that, if he likes you, there's no way for you to let him down gently. none. and... last but not least, whatever u do, if he disappears or distances himself from you then leave him alone. give him time and respect his privacy. because if u just chase him down to stay his friend he will surely misinterpret it as meaning something more.

I personally think it's harder to ruin a true friendship than we think. friendships are strained and go through bumpy and messy times. but over time, a real connection, a real friendship will stand. for example, right now I can't even look at or talk to an ex. but in time I'll be fine and a genuine friendship will follow.