Guys and girls, IMPORTANT question?

Question

Would you prefer to see someone you're in a relationship with as much as possible and talk to them as much as possible, even to the point perhaps, where you have nothing to say? Or where it becomes like an automatic thing? "Oh I have to talk to him" or "Oh I have to hang out with him, because we ALWAYS do on this particular day of the week" or whatever.

Or, are you one of those people that likes to have time to "miss" that person? Maybe not hanging out every moment you possibly can, or not putting everything on the backburner for that person?

So say you're the latter type of person for example...how much does it turn you off when you're with a person who is the former type? Is it something you can't deal with? Or can you come to a compromise with that person, and reach a common ground where it's not overkill, but at the same time, you don't play "hard-to-get" all the time?

Oh and here's a twist - if you have a problem with the way it is from the start, aren't you supposed to tell the person beFORE it becomes a problem? Like lay down some boundaries from the start, and not wait until it becomes something you have a problem with?

One last subsection: How are you supposed to bounce back from it? Say that person is so annoyed with it, that he/she becomes confused and unsure about the whole situation in general, how do you reconcile and reach a common ground?

Answer 1

There is always something to say, so it isn't necessary to take "time off". when you don't have anything to say just make the other person talk about themselves by asking them about themselves (if it's a girl this should be easy they don't care much about what you have to say, they'd rather talk about themselves).  I don't get turned off I just make sure it doesn't get too routine and we don't do/talk about the same thing every time, keep it a little unpredictable you know

Answer 2

I personally would love to see them a lot, but then you can't sit there missing them.

Answer 3

I was just in a relationship very similar to this.  He was very into talking to me on the phone all the time, (he is stationed in NY so of course when he was home we spent all of our time together).  He would want me to just sit at home after work and talk to him, text him non stop throughout the work day.  Outside of him he didn't want me to have a life.  Where as I wanted to be able to go out with my friends, without my phone ringing off the hook non stop.  He and I tried to find a common ground, but in all honesty nothing was satisfactory.  We tried to set aside certain days where I would just sit at home and talk to him.  And it tore apart our relationship because I couldn't handle not having my own time and he couldn't respect my need for "me time".  If you want to try and reach a common ground but you would be changing the person in the process, and you may not like the result of the change.

Answer 4

I've always been the type who feels like I should talk on the phone at least once a day, but see my boyfriend once or twice during the week and then on weekends.

And I actually just had this discussion last night with my boyfriend. We've been together for a year, but live 40 miles apart, so we only saw each other on weekends or for an occasional mid-week date. Now we're moving in together in a week and I told him last night that it's going to be a really big adjustment, and maybe hard for me to sleep in bed with another person (even if it's the man I love) every night. I'm used to the solitude, and I like it. And that it's going to be hard for me to call on the way home from work when I'm going to be later than expected or stopping at the store.

He said for him it will be opposite- he hates when we're apart at night and he sleeps alone.