Guys help to translate this from german to English:-)?

Question

der verkauf von wlan access cards erfolgt im namen und auf rechnung der swisscom gmbh. gebuchte massagen werden im auftrag von frau sabine wittmann, med. masseurin. in rechnung gestellt. pay tv wird im namen der firma techlive verrechnet

Answer 1

this is a crude translation...but it makes no sense to me lol

it sales from wlan ACCESS cards in the name and on calculation swisscom of the GmbH posted massagen become effected on behalf of Mrs. sabine wittmann, med. mass urine. in calculation pay tv becomes placed in the name of the

Answer 2

The sale of wlan access cards is on behalf of and invoiced by the swisscom corporation. Booked massages are invoiced on account of Mrs. Sabine Wittmann, medical masseuse. PayTV is invoiced on account of the techlive corporation.

Answer 3

OKAY!

the sale from wlan access cards effected in the name and on calculation swisscom of the GmbH .gebuchte massagen on behalf of Mrs. sabine wittmann, med.messeurin.in calculation gestellt.pay TV in the name of the company techlive is charged.

Answer 4

This is the translation given by Babelfish:

the sales from wlan ACCESS cards in the name and on calculation swisscom of the GmbH booked massagen sabine become effected wittmann, med. mass urine on behalf of woman. regarding calculation posed pay tv regarding the name of the company techlive is charged

I have to assume that it loses something in translation because it makes no sense.  I especially like the "med. mass urine on behalf of woman" part.

Answer 5

The sale from wlan access cards effected in the name and on calculation swisscom of the GmbH .Gebuchte massagen on behalf of Mrs. Sabine Wittmann, med.messeurin.in        calculation gestellt.pay TV in the name   of the company techlive is charged.

Answer 6

What the heck is a WLAN access card? I know what a WLAN is, but I'm not sure about the legalese here: "im Namen und auf Rechnung". What I found is this one for the first sentence:

"Sales of WLAN access [WiFi, if you like] debit cards [I think that's what's meant] is on behalf ["im Namen"] and for account of ["auf Rechnung"] Swisscom Gmbh [a Swiss telecommunications company with a subsidiary in Germany; a German GmbH is something like a British plc]"

The second sentence has a, well: sexual undertone in it, but is also legalese. It gave me a laugh, though.

"Massages booked will be billed to Frau Sabine Wittmann, medical assistant."

Same for the third sentece:

"Your pay tv account fees will be booked on behalf of and directly to techlive."

[Mind that in central Europe, most people don't use credit cards or checks, but allowing companies to draw money directly from their bank account is the regular way of payment. Consumer protection laws allow you to withdraw any payment drawn by a company within six weeks, so that's absolutely safe.]

Answer 7

Sales of Wlan access cards will be carried out on behalf of   Swisscom Gmbh who will also effect the billing.(they will take care of the bills.)

Any bookings made for massages will be charged on behalf of Mrs Sabine Wittman, masseuse.

Techlive acts on behalf pay Tv for payment.i.e. settlement of bills (invoices)

x*x Good luck...xx

Answer 8

The sale of wlan access cards in the name of and on account of the swisscom gmbh. Booked massages are mission of woman sabine wittmann, medical masseurin. Billed. Pay TV will be in the company name techlive charged

Answer 9

the sale of wlan access cards followed will be placed reckoned in the name and on calculation of the swisscom gmbh. booked massages in the order from ms. sabine wittmann, med. masseuse. in calculation. pay tv in the name of the firm techlive

google.com for free translations

Answer 10

Sounds like something printed in a hotel leaflet. :)

NO word-by-word translation, but telling you what it says.

WLAN access cards are cards given to you by the reception to access the hotel´s (or place´s) WLAN - wireless internet.

A company called Swisscom will be in charge.

If you book massages, they will be handled by the professional medical masseuse Mrs Sabine Wittman. She is the one that will be paid for massages.

Pay TV is available for you in your room, it is the company "techlive" that offers this service.

As I said, sounds like information given by a hotel or some place like that. It doesn´t matter as much to you as a guest or person staying there. They let you know you can get access to WLAN, you can book massages and you can have Pay TV if you want.