Guys i need your help...?

Question

my boyfriend of two years has failed his first year exams in college.

he said to me last night if that happens he doesnt know if its possible for us to stay together if that happens because he doesnt know what will be happening with his life. i dont think its fair as i'd do anything and have just supported him. what am i meant to do? i dont want to lose him

Answer 1

Hey Sasa R,

Right now we're guessing your boyfriend must be pretty gutted. He may have felt he put in loads of effort for his exams and it’s got him nowhere. And to top that off, he’s probably really worried that he has jeopardised his dream job offer.

So the fact that he’s got all confused about your relationship together is perhaps only natural.

It sounds like by failing his exams he feels much more insecure about your future together; a future that he probably saw you two living in a cool pad, working dream jobs etc.

What you maybe need to do right now is give him a little space to deal with failing his exams.  Then, you need to do what all couples should do in a crisis – talk about it!  Try and see things from his perspective. He perhaps loves design and he really wants this job.  So tell him that if he really wants to succeed at his course, that you will be willing to take a back seat till the end of his course.  Encourage him to re-take his exams and maybe even help him revise.  

And of course, express to him how much you want to keep your relationship going. Try and come to happy arrangement for seeing each other.  Of course you don’t want to throw away two years of a great relationship just like that!  So support him by fitting into his routine for the time being, if that’s what you feel is right.

However, you will be compromising a lot for him and not getting much out of it, just so you don’t lose him. You maybe have to think whether taking a break from each other for the time being isn’t a better option.  It will give him all the time he needs to concentrate on his course.  And it will mean you won’t be feeling left out whilst he’s got his head in the books.

For some tips about communicating as a couple:  http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationshi...

For a little more information on failing a course year:  http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/stud...

For some helpful information on ending a relationship: http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationshi...

Hopefully, you guys will be able to talk about what’s going on, ride through this rough patch in your relationship and come out the other side much happier and stronger!

All the best.

Answer 2

just explain that you wll stick by him through thick and thin as you love him, and no matter what path he chooses, it will work out well in the end.....

I took a BTEC in Performing Arts, I toured the world, then went into teaching Performing Arts....but then something changed and I decided that it wasn't for me, I then spent the next 5 years going from job to job, with my wife supporting me. I'm now a manager at a big store....

Who'd have thought it....and I left college with a BTEC in Performing Arts not Business studdies.

I guess what I'm trying to say is just be there for him and tell him that you love him and will support him no matter what.

Answer 3

faile is the piller of success of life .don't break .rising sun should get both of life.