Guys with self esteem issue? havent seen this before!! ?

Question

my bf is havin some self esteem issues. he is 5'11 and weighs 195lbs. he has very muscular arms but he has a little jiggly tummy. it is only noticable when he has his shirt off. his friend made a teasing comment that he was fat and that i was gunna leave him for someone hotter (not true) and now he is working out like crazy, only eating watermelon, celery, chicken broth and gallons of water.... hes dizzy and hes gunna make himself very sick if he keeps this up... what can i say to him to get him to stop with the crazy diet/exercise?

i tried telling him i like him the way he is and he blew me off and said yeah right... what are some ego boosting things i can say to him?

he also wont let me near him..we used to have sex7-8 times a week now he wont go near me... he said he doesnt want to be a "pity f**k" and we got in a huge fight because he isnt a pity---- at all. if i wasnt attracted to him then i wouldnt have initiated s*x...grrrrr

Answer 1

Sounds like a classic case of Anorexia nervosa. He sees something different in the mirror then you and others see. A very difficult problem and needs the attention of an expert in treatment for eating disorders.

Answer 2

Give him his space. This phase will probably be over soon.

Answer 3

Eating disorders are not just women's illnesses.

These days, more men are developing eating disorders:

http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/svp/uhs/eating/...

Answer 4

Telll him that he is a wonderful guy. Hug him, but do not get rebuffed

Answer 5

convince him you fancy him and love him the way he is

Answer 6

wow, hmm

there's not a lot you can do about his low self esteem only he can sort that out, try telling him how badly his behavior is effecting you and how much you care about him. Most importantly though tell him you don't care what he looks like it's who he is you want.

You could also offer to help him lose weight if he still insists he's 'fat'

Answer 7

WHY NOT LET him be for the meantime and let him fulfill his desire and dream of building his body, you cannot reverse what he is destine to do, the more you will agitate the situation between you and him. Let it be, let him do whatever his heart desire. It will subside, he will realize in the end what he is doing is wrong, he is in some kind of a dream, unless he woke up by himself then he will know what is wrong. Giving him cue is not gonna help, why not do the reverse psychology method, he is working out right?! Then buy a magazine like MUSCLE MEN and show it to him. Ask him why darling....you like being ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER type, ok how long will this take? Arnold took him 7 years. Close by him and support his desire the more he will love you for it.

Answer 8

Do NOT tell him things like "I like the way you look now" because this causes a reflex reaction by him which he has no control of.

Another thing that you shouldn't do is paying less attention to him.  Don't think that you should leave him all alone until he betters himself.  Of course, there are things which you cannot do together anymore.

Just offer yourself to him as you did before he began all this, but just don't push it.  For example, cuddle with him instead of standing there naked and demanding s*x.

He does it for you.  You might tell him that he does not need to do it, but he set himself a goal and he must reach it.