HELP, EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS WITH MY SON AND MY EX?!?!?

Question

In April, My 3 year old son's mother and my ex broke our 4 year relationship up. When she left, she said she wanted freedom, but two weeks later i found out that she's been talking to a guy from japan that she met from acting class since january. I was extremely upset. I felt betrayed, decepted and everything fell apart. Currently I am trying to pick myself back together, there are friends who are trying to help me and people to cheer me up, but the hurt, for some reason doesn't go away. I still blame myself for everything, but as i see, there was nothing i can do about it. Now she shows up with her new guy to pick up my son, and i hear about this guy from my son. Everything is a constant hurt. I loved this family dearly and couldn't believe what has happened to it. I think what she did was selfish to just took off with a new guy just like that and pretended our relationship never existed. Can someone help me see clearly and help move on from this? I am on my path to focus on myself and my son, but this woman cannot get out of my mind. I just want to be happy and forget aobut her also

Answer 1

You love her and you always will (love doesn't die), it can turn into hate(which is a form of love), but no one wants to go there.  You have to accept the fact that the woman you love does not want to live with you.  You don't want to forget her, you want to put her in your memories.  "Beginnings are exciting, endings are sad, it's what's in between that counts"--unknown...It takes two to make or break a marriage, stop blaming yourself.  Pamper yourself, which is something different for everyone.  There are also groups such as "parents without partners" for single parents...you have to find the right one though, as many are an "anger-fest" with nothing but ex-spouse bashing.

Answer 2

yeah, she wanted freedom AND she met a guy in January--those are not mutually exclusive.  She was dissatisfied before January, but thats not necessarily your fault. Accept it.  Move on.  Find another.  Maybe sign up for acting classes--it worked for that other dude!

Answer 3

Something like that will take time to get over. In the meantime, in order to stop thinking about her, you need to do stuff for yourself. Meet new friends, get into things you like, sports or whatever you enjoy. You should start dating people too.

Online dating can work, you just have to be careful. Plenty of Fish (www.pof.com) is a great dating service. No offense, but the best way to get over a woman is to get under a new one.

Answer 4

This is not your fault. She left because she found someone she thought is better. I don't know how your relationship was but if you guys have a child together then there was something there. When the relationship with this japanese guy is over she willl see her mistake. As far as the pain goes only time and God can heal wounds. Do not hurry into a relationship because it won't end well. All you can do is care for your child and try to keep your mind off her as you move on with your life

Answer 5

Your thoughts should be on you and your son, not your wife.  He's 3 right now and sounds like you still have a relationship with him which is great.  For whatever reason she no longer wants you in her life, so be it!  You will always have to have her in your life because of your son, but not be part of your life.  Live in the now not in the past and don't look to much into the future. All the best!