HELP!!! Having trouble understanding the "terrible two's"?

Question

My son is 2 now and he is having what it looks like is an emotional break down at random times of the day. He is also punching and kicking stuff in the middle of these outbursts. I am told to ignore it and it will pass, however it is even worse at bedtime. He is the only child, yet I am due in Sept with our second child and I recently have started staying home with him. I have been doing the time out in the time out chair for 2 minutes, I feel like I am making it worse by just putting him back when he gets up. I have tried sending him to his room and placing the baby gate up and walking away and ignoring the out bursts. It always starts when I am trying to get him to stop doing something. For example this morning he was running through the house and running up and hitting the walls like it was stopping him. I asked him to stop running in the house and he kept on going. I got down to his level and asked him again to stop running please before he gets hurt. I need advice!!!!

Answer 1

He isn't having an emotional break down.  He is throwing a tantrum.  Very "normal" at this age and you've compunded it by being pregnant.  At his age he feels as if he is going to be replaced so he is doing all he can to get your attention .  I suggest you start spending more quality time with him.  Sit and read with him.  Play simple games with him.  Allow him to help in preparations for the new baby and reasure him that although you're going to have another baby that you love him and need him very very much.  He is two years old and is going to continue to behave the way two year olds behave.

Answer 2

Whatever you do, be patient and loving, but FIRM. Teach him to respect you before things get out of hand. Remember, if you love him, you'll discipline him.

Answer 3

My son is the same way!!

He is two and his brother just turned one at the end of June. They are only 16 months apart and I am struggling to find answers.

I just bought a book by Mary Sheedy about Raising your Spirited Child. I read the exerpt on amazon.com and it was my son to a`t`!

If your son is like mine he will not sit still to read a book. And, if you give him a piece of paper or a cool coloring book and a marker or crayon he will NOT draw on the paper but anything and everything else in teh room! My two year old found a perm marker in my mom`s toy room/office and colored all over her new flat screen monitor. NOT the coloring books on the shelves or the paper on the desk.

I have started letting my son play/run around outside in the am for two hours. And at least two more in the afternoon. When dad comes home its about another hour at most. It seems to let him vent and spend some energy. He is also enrolled at a child`s gymnastics program where he can safely climb bars, swing from those high bars, and learn to tumble with an instructor!!! A LIFE SAVER!!

He is too preocupied to listen. When given direction he gets caught up in the first and second and third thing that catches his eye. He is always observing...always working things out and FEARLESS.

People who don`t have a child like this DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I wish Stormy would quit with the critism and give some stinkin` advice already.

(Check out her answer to my last question!!)

Answer 4

Ignoring it will definitly not help with this behavior. Also asking him to stop will not work either. You can't reason with a child that age, he does not understand the corellation between his running in the house and getting hurt. Also when you ASK him to stop you are giving him OPTIONS, weather or not to obey you. He needs to know that YOU are in charge and WILL not tolerate when he does not do what you ask. When he is throwing a fit or misbehaving you, tell him to stop whatever behavior and if he does not Take him to a designated spot in your house. It depends on how your house is set up as long as its away from distractions like tv or toys. Sit him there and tell him that he Mommy told him to do something and he didn't and that he will sit here until she says that he can get up and play or whatever. Generally this will work based on his age (two years old, two minits) but sometimes even 30 seconds can be effective. When you see his is calmed down and ready to listen to you, his time out can be over. At first he will have to be conditioned and will try to get up and run off (again disobeying you and if you give up he will learn that he controls you not the other way around) So you make it abundantly clear the he WILL sit there until you say he can get up. if and when he runs off, pick him up and sit him down, and you may have to do this a dozen times before he is conditioned to obey the time out. You should monitor him now and when he is older you can "ignore" him during his time out, by then he will have learned to stay put when you tell him to. When he is ready to get up tell him that you love him and that he did not do what you asked, and thats why he had a time out.

It takes a lot of work, but eventually it will be effective. Ignoring kids never work, they will just scream and try harder to get a reaction or whatever. Think about it, you ever see kids thowing fits in the grocery store? Usually their parents are acting like nothing is happening. Its very irritating.

Answer 5

spank his butt and put him to bed. Break him now or you are gonna be SORRY

Answer 6

Be patient with him.  Don't raise our voice and try to find something to keep him occupied so he will stop showing out.  At bed time, read a book, or sit and play with him a bit.  He is obviously trying to get your attention.  The twos are not as bad as the threes.  Goo luck and remember yelling doesn't solve anything.

Answer 7

With my 2 year old, I find it best to pick my battles. The thing is that so many of the "naughty" things they do are phases. (Oh and the bummer is that some of the good things they do are phases as well.) If there is a safe place you can let him run somewhere in the house...or have a backyard he can run in, he'll tire himself out, and then he might nap longer.

When my little darling acts up, I think, "Is this something I really want to put my foot down about, or can I just let it slide?" I find our day is much less tantrum-filled when I let some things go. For example, I was tearing my hair out trying to figure out a way to keep her from writing on the walls. Then, I bought her an easel, took down and hid all the stuff she could damage and then, a few weeks later when her drawing on walls phase was over, I busted out the magic eraser. So now I have clean walls, a toddler who draws on her paper and didn't have to time her out once!  

And, this might just be my kid, but I noticed that she REALLY hates to get timed out, so I don't have to put her in for the full 2 minutes. I just put her in for 30 seconds. Time outs don't work with all kids. IIf time outs don't work with your boy at all, you might want to find something that does. (no, I'm not advising you spank him, time-outers aren't spankers)

Also, if he knows he's going to be getting a sibling, it's totally understandable that he would try to get as much of your attention as he can now. Hang in there girl, you've got a lot on your plate, so try to take as much time as you can for yourself.