HELP!!! I'm a single working mom of a one year old and when i get home I'm too tired to clean. Any others?

Question

I work 9-5 while my son is in daycare. I am a neat freak but my son who still doesn't sleep through the night ( bedtime is 9pm he wakes up every 3 hours still) is not and when i get home my house is a mess because i keep putting it off. I have no time to do anything nor can i afford a house keeper. Is there anyone out there that has gone through feeling like they were a failure at the whole mommy thing? I love my son and i spend as much time with him as i can. Weekends are totally for him . But I'm zonked out -- between work and laundry and foodshopping i don't have time for the whole lemon fresh house and baked cookies -but i wanna be like that. Any advice or am i just over reacting ?

Answer 1

I feel the same way, you are not alone and you are not a bad mom! Your son is happy and healthy right? He doesn't know the difference between a clean house and a messy one, he really doesn't.

You need to take some "me time", your life shouldn't be just about your son and your job, you will get totally burned out.  

I just let some things in the house go.  I will do the dishes, but don't vacuum, do the laundry, but don't make the beds, pay the bills, but don't dust.  I don't even fold my daughter's clothes, I just dump them into medium plastic bins (sleepers in one, rompers in another, t-shirts and shorts in another, etc), it makes laundry time much simpler.  I also don't bother matching socks, it's a total waste of time, especially if you don't mind wearing mismatched socks :-)

Pick and choose what is important.  Your son isn't judging the cleanliness of your house, he only knows you and that you love and care for him.

I have felt like a failure many times since my little one was born (I also work full-time, about 50 hours a week with an hour commute each way), but you just keep at it and try to remember that your son will love you no matter what your house looks like.

As for the cookies, that's why the break and bakes were invented, right?

Answer 2

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow,

for children grow up I've learned to my sorrow,

so quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep

I'm rocking my baby and babies won't keep!

Remember, you also need mommy time though, and if that's 20 mins an evening to do a little housework, or workout, read, whatever brings YOU calmness and peace.  You'll both be happier if you have your time.

Answer 3

No not at all. You are doing the best you can. Girl you are the bomb!

I am a single mom too, (well dad is present but doesn't live there) so I have to do it all on my own too.  I wash clothes on Sundays, during nap time. Which actually is when I do all my cleaning. Weekends.

Here's my schedule..it may work for you too..

The bathroom - I clean it while he is playing in the bath. Which I can put on a load of clothes at the same time. (washer/dryer in bathroom)

Living room - We do it together..we pick up his toys as a game, and then I give him one toy put him on the couch while I vaccumm. As far as dusting, while he's sitting on the couch or have him stand next to you, dust of whatever and explain to him what your doing.

Kitchen - I clean the kitchen while he's in his highchair. I fix him something I know is going to take awhile for him to eat (make sure he hasn't eaten in awhile.), and sometimes he is on my hip while I mop.

My bedroom - The bed never gets made, except on Sunday am, and again, I get him to help me put things in place..like " see mommy, put this in there and point where it needs to go. Try involving him in the whole cleaning process, make it fun. That way you don't feel overwhelmed in getting the house cleaned and spending time with him, when you do it together, that is spending quality time, and it gets him used to cleaning up behind his-self. Good luck

Answer 4

I work full time but i'm married, however, I do most of the work. You can find a balance, you just have to work on it.  It's all about planning.  You have to have a plan on what will be done from day to day.  When I get home from work around 6ish (my daughter's 2 btw), I fix her dinner and sit her down to eat. That gives me about a half an hour to throw some loads in the wash, and to pick up the living room and around the house.  She watches her little shows and that gives me time to do things around the house.  On the weekends, when she takes her afternoon nap, that's when I get crazy and deep clean everything (yes it's tiring but it has to be done), from then on, I just pick up here and there throughout the week and it stays pretty decent.

Key is to do a deep cleaning on one day to get you started, then you'll just be picking up here and there every day.  It sucks but it has to be done. Save your grocery shopping for Saturday mornings.  And try to do a little laundry every day.

Hang in there!  Really, a tidier house will help to de-stress your life.

Answer 5

NO dear you are not a failure as a mother....in fact if you like to chill with your son when you get home rather than clean I say that your an Excellent mom..You don't have any one at home to helpp you right?? that is something that makes it tough, as long as there isn't food lying around or dirty diapers on the floor, your good, do a little at a time to keep up with it, and use your weekends to clean