HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY don't KNOW what to DO??!?

Question

My VERY on and off relationship with a guy who's younger than....well, to say the least it confuses me so much, and hurts so much. I really care for the guy, and I think I might be in love with him. But at the same time, he constantly shows w/his actions that I'm not that important to him. Call me insecure, but he makes me feel insecure. He does not answer his phone when I call most of the time, he will then call me at a later time in the day. He prefers to text everything. We don't make plans to do anything ever really, and he's also very tight on money so i try not to make a big deal out of it, but he really never makes plans w/me, it's just always spontaneous spur of the moment things we do. When he breaks his promises or acts distant, I freak out!! (my insecurity kicks in, and inside i'm dieing for him to just hug me reassure me) I can't contain my emotions, and whenever I show how I'm really feeling and vent on him for not treating me w/value/consideration/respect, he does this passive aggressive thing and walks away. He says that i'm freaking out for no reason, that i'm crazy, he doesn't understand me. I do feel crazy because how he treats me is just so backwards from how my genuine/good relationships were in the past. He makes me feel lower than low because of what he doesn't do, the value placed on me is close to that of DIRT. Everyone, and especially himself, all take priority over me, and I am the one in his life that treats him the best and am the most caring. It's so sad how i'm dieing for just realness and he turns a blind eye. I don't know if it's absent minded inconsideration or if purposely treats me like "nothing of concern" on purpose. I feel like it's the latter because with others he is very accomadating, very considerate, prompt, and quick to reassure and be there for them. With me, i just honestly feel dead to him sometimes. What's wrong here? Is this a passive aggressive thing? He isn't straight out mean usually, it's more of a....i just won't acknowledge you at all thing... HELP

Answer 1

I dated a guy like that, and as hard as it may be to take; you gotta dump him.

NO GUY should ever make you feel like that, no matter what.  It's not a healthy relationship.  The guy should always love you just a little more, and he sounds like hes a bit less.  Maybe telling you to dump him right off the bat is a little harsh, but maybe you should give him a heads up first.  Just casually mention what he does wrong and see how he reacts.  I'm sorry to say this but from what you said it's not gonna last too long, regardless of how you feel about him.  I reccomend you dump him just for the psychological part of that, knowing that you ended it before him.

In my relationship, I was going through similar things.  We just kept growing more and more distant, even though I could have sworn I was in love.  My best friend started realizing the type of stress I was putting myself through for him, and forced me to dump him.  With support from my friends and family, I was soon able to move on, leaving him forever.  The fact that I dumped him shocked him, leaving him bewildered and a little upset, giving me the satisfaction of (almost) breaking his heart, giving him a taste of what I was going through.  You may think you're in love, but if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

Answer 2

it could be that your bf is just this way. he might be the kind of person not to show his feelings to people or maybe he is going through a rough time himself. if this is the case then just make sure he knows he can trust you without saying it straight up then he would feel awkward lol.

or maybe he is disrespecting you in which case you should let him know that you are unhappy about it and that you want it to change, if he is open to talk about it then talk, if not then you should try to find out why he treats you in a negative way and go from there..

Good Luck

hope it turns out ok

Answer 3

us girls r meant to b s*x only for whole time

Answer 4

Hey Gal,

Am really feeling you on this. This is because am almost in the same situation as you are.

The reason being that my boyfriend(who is actually my childhood boyfriend) treats me like I don't really exist in his life. When I go visiting at his place he just wants to floss with me to his pals which makes me uncomfortable.

Whatever answers you get plz send them to me-(my address is [e-mail]). Thanx n please try n talk to the guy n tell him how you really feel on the matter that he leaves you feeling that way

Answer 5

Its obvious by his actions that you aren't that important to him. He doesn't care about you or respect you and continuing to deal with him will only worsen your self esteem. Get out and work on improving your self esteem. A man can only treat you bad and degrade you if you allow him to. Learn to love yourself and develop standards. Don't waste your time dealing with a guy that doesn't meet your criteria or treat you with respect.