HELP! I don't want to have s*x anymore!! What's wrong with me?

Question

I am 26 years old and my fiance and I have been together for a little over 8 years. We have 2 sons together that are ages 3 and 2. In the first 3 years of our relationship I enjoyed the flirting, foreplay, and kissing stuff, but was never really into the s*x part. I was so shy about s*x in the begining that I would never take my shirt off. I was not a virgin when I met him either. Around 4 years ago (pre-kids) I started feeling like I didnt even want s*x at all. I would m********e on occasion, but very rarely. I would preform s*x just to satisfy him, which made me resent having s*x even more. Then our boys came into our lives and now I dont want s*x at all. I can't say that the reason I have no s*x drive is because of having kids, because this was happening before I even got pregnant. I love my fiance very much and we have been through so much together, but I am growing very tired of having s*x that I could care less to have. I have noticed that this whole situation is making me resent him. We have had conversations where I have told him exactly how I feel about our sexual relationship. He knows that I dont really care for it and he knows that he is not the problem. I know its not him, because I dont think about having s*x with anyone else, I dont want to have s*x with anyone. It has gotten to the point where I am anxious when hes around and I am always plotting my next move as to make sure I dont give him an opening to initiate s*x. I dont even enjoy mastrabating anymore and I dont like even being touched. Recently, I went to my gyno for an annual check-up and brought this issue up to her. She told me that it sounds like it has nothing to do with my horomones and that it is myself that is the problem. I know this is hurting my fiance, but I dont know what else to do. Even though we have had numerous conversations about how I could care less to ever have s*x again, he still continues to pursue me. I feel horrible because I can tell that he still is very physically attracted to me and I know he loves me. I feel so bad when I continually reject him. I have told him many times that I wish we could have a relationship where we were mentally and emotionally intimate and not physically and he just laughed at me. But, that is what would be ideal for me in a relationship. Even though he knows I dont care to have s*x, he still asks for it at least once a week, which I do give him. And he has told me that if I were to stop having s*x with him that he would leave me. I really dont want to be the reason that my family falls apart, but I cannot keep on doing this because it makes me feel so horrible and I hate it. I was sexually abused as a child and he knows about this, but still to this day seems to not put two and two together, no matter how much I have drilled it into his brain. Its kinda like he refuses to see the connection either that or he doesnt care. He believes that by now I should be very comfortable with him, which I am, I am just not comfortable with s*x. I feel that its a total waste of time and could live the rest of my life happily without it.

HELP!! What should I do?? I have made it very clear how I feel about s*x, I have tried everything I could think of that might make me like it, I have gone to the doctor, I have done everything I can think of to make this better, but no matter what I've tried I still do not want to have s*x anymore.!! I dont want my fiance to leave me, but wouldn't blame him if he did. What should I do?? Please help!! What's wrong with me??

Answer 1

Simple, step 1. buy a nitric oxide product from GNC for example

preferably NO2 Platinum

step. 2 send kids AWay_ _ _

step. 3 take product as instructed then do some sort of workout possibly weight lifting and cardio but could just do situps and pushups types of things

step 4 after workout you should be in mood to have s*x if not maybe look at some p**n or some **** and then i find it pretty d**n hard to believe u wouldnt be in mood for *******

Answer 2

" if I stop having s*x with him, he will leave me..."

" I was sexually abused as a child..."

Hmmm. It appears to me that you have deeper issues than what you think. These types of things usually aren't resolved from Yahoo Answers.

Answer 3

hi,

everyone is different and people like different things. and you dont like the felling of having s*x wich is you. you should also talk to your fiance and say to him about what you fell and if he loves you that much then he would except that you dont like it and he will get on with it. but if he leaves you then that proves that he does really love you cause when you love someone then you should make each other happy not worry about what you are going to do.. i hope i helped and i hope you can sort this out. xxxx

Answer 4

I think a lot of it has to do with you being sexually abused when you were younger. I was also sexually abused when I was 3, 7 and 14. When I first got married to my husband it was hard for me to want s*x also. I just didn't have the drive for it. Then I found out about emotional healing. I know it sounds so spiritual but I sought God out on it and he healed me of my past traumas and that wall I had put up has come down. I loved my husband so much and I wanted to give him what he deserved it was just so hard because I wanted to enjoy it, I just couldn't. Now I am able to enjoy our relationship fully like I was supposed to from the beginning. Good Luck!

Answer 5

i dont know sweetie. i feel awful for u i really do. have u trieddd talking to a therpist yet?? maybe that would help even if it only helped a little. sounds like u really have something really bothering you deeeep down inside that u need to get to the root of, bc as adults were sexual people and for u to say u could live the rest of ur life without it doesnt sound normal. i would deff try talking to someone. show ur finace ur tryingggg to fix it with that extra step. your right though a man it wouldnt be suprising if he left, and if he stayed hed prolly only get his sexual satisfaction elsewhere. its a tough situation but u and ur gyno sound right. its deff you, not hormones.

try talking to someone!!!!!!!

good luck!

Answer 6

The first thing you need to do is figure out why your s*x drive is low and try to help get it back.  I was in your situation and it's not fun without being horny and feeling in the mood when needed.  I also felt like my orgasms (if I would even get one) were really weak.  Probably because of my s*x drive.

However, I tried exercising and dieting but nothing seemed to be working.  I thought I was screwed.  I then found something just as amazing as the vibrator.

My friend at work told me about this stuff she took to raise her s*x drive.  It was a natural herbal supplement and was I lucky to of found it.  Theres no side effects and the s*x drive is just tremendous along with orgasms that are blasting.  The stuff is called Hersolution pills.  At the time I saved money on them at herenhancement.com

What I did was tried out for 3 months and that was really it.  I found taking them every other day or so was the best to stretch it out. After the months were up, I was back to normal with a beating s*x drive and my o****m strength in increased so much.  

Well good luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 7

You could have Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or Sexual Arousal Disorder or both.  You need to talk to a Psychologist because you said that you were sexually abused as a child and that can be a major precursor to those two sexual disorders.  Your GYNO already ruled out any physical problems so that has to be it.  A therapist will help you.  You need to seek help for yourself and Yahoo answers isn't going to be able to solve this problem for you.  Good luck and seek counseling.

Answer 8

You need to seek out a good therapist to work through this. There is also a chance that this could be a physiological problem so an exam by you doctor would also be a good start.  Congratulations on being open with your finance and not projecting your frustration on him.

Do not waste a minute seeking out professional help, s*x between two people in a loving relationship is a very joyful experience, do no deprive yourself of it.

Good luck.

Answer 9

It sounds like you haven't been sexually attracted to your fiance in a long time and the whole "having s*x to please him" just made you resent him. You and him just may no longer be sexually compatible and you both may want to stay friendly (because of your kids) but go your separate ways and meet new people.

Answer 10

I know what you are going through.  My fiancee is actually the exact same way.  We have had s*x maybe 4 times over the past 4 months.  I still love her to bits.  I would LOVE to have more s*x with her because I think she is absolutly stunning but she doesnt have the drive for it at all.  When we do have s*x it seems like she is somewhere else too which is no fun at all.  However, I would not leave her over it.  As it turns out she decided we need a break over the weekend because she is confused over this problem.  I told her that I dont mind but she needs to figure it out for herself.  

Answer 11

well that can weack ur relationship

Answer 12

speak to your doctor about trying some medication to boost your s*x drive and make you aroused. hopefully, it will do the trick. also, start to take pills such as Horny Goat Weed. Over time they are said to boost your libido and stuff...

i feel sorry for you. But you cannot expect him to go without s*x - he is your partner, and he doesnt want to cheat or leave you.

nothing is wrong with you... it is just the way you are. i have been in your shoes before.. it feels like nothing, totally nothing, just a chore.

try to get your drive up! for the kids sake...