HELP! I live with MIL and it is driving me crazy, does anyone have any advice?

Question

My husband and I have been married for five years, we have a six year old and four year old. We just moved 2000 miles from an economy stricken city, to where my in laws live. We did this so my husband could actually find a job that paid decent, as the city we lived in had no work. We moved in with them originally 1.5 mos ago. We all four share one bedroom and we pay $150 per week to stay here, plus pay for our own food, which usually gets eaten my everyone else in the house. My BIL and his girlfriend which has a 2 yr old thats NOT his stay here and dont pay anything because they dont have a car and neither one of them has a job. My MIL huffs and puffs all day until she goes to work, even though I clean and do dishes that my family didnt even dirty! My husband found a great job right away and makes great money. We dont have a second vehicle (the one we have belongs to the company he works for) so I stay home. My six year old goes to school, and my four year old goes to pre-school. It is awful living here. We are just trying to save as much money as possible but his parents are always borrowing money on top of the money we give them. Any advice?

Answer 1

I feel sorry for ALL of you including your MIL.  She has given up her privacy as well to take all of you in.  I know you think it's horrible but what would have happened to you in the other City without this option?  Just keep in mind that when people are all jammed together & frustrated they are bound to act differently than they normally would.  How could you NOT get on each other's nerves?

If your husband is making such great money then it shouldn't be that long before you can get enough together to move.  Where are you living?  What's the rent like?  I know where I'm at the rent can get pretty expensive so I'm sure you can't just move out at the snap of a finger.  Since your husband has some stability now . . . would it be possible for you to take out either a loan or get a credit card with a low APR on cash advances?  You could use that to set up your new apartment.  You're already paying $600 per month as it is.  So between that & getting a little more from a loan you should be able to get that squared away in no time.

Answer 2

tell them no they can't borrow money from you because you pay rent and are trying to get out of their house and if they need money to borrow from their other son because you don't like staying with them because they eat all your food and that was not part of the arrangement and you are saving up to move into your own place.

When me and hubby lived with my mother in law we had to pay half of all her bills, and her other son paid half on the mortage, and still she didn't pay the bills when we gave her cash and refused to accept checks from us that were made out to the utility company. She went out and bought dresses and make up with our money then we had to loan ( or should i say give her more money) for cigarettes. but threatened to kick us out if we got pregnant so when i was pregnant we went ahead and got a studio appartment which we should have been able to save money but we still had to pay her water bill and help with her electric and gasoline for her car and cigarettes, the whole time we lived there she told everybody we weren't helping her and when i lost my job because i was to sick to work was throwing up 4 times a day lost 17 pounds being pregnant finally we cut her off because we couldn't afford to help her, had we saved the money we used to help her we would have had at least a thousand dollars that could have been spent on the baby and by the way she never gave us a present for the babyshower like she did with all her other children.

Answer 3

The goal was for him to get a good paying job - which he has done - so now it is time to move out. Maybe that is why it is so awful there as they are trying to get you to move out and be on your own.  

Answer 4

You really need to get your husband to tell them to back off with the money issue.  At 150 a week, plus food, they are most likely MAKING money on you.  What did they do financially before you moved in?  Are they living better now that you have moved in?  You need to let your husband know what you are going through.

We lived with my out-laws (yes, they were out-laws, not in-laws) for the 6 months prior to our house getting completed.  I wanted to get an apartment, she wanted to save money.  We neither saved money and almost lost our marriage because of them.  Get out as soon as possible.

Answer 5

Find a place fast and get the h**l outta there hun, i know exactly how u feel, not personally, but my sister and her husband were living in her MIL's home for a short period of time, and then her MIL just used to nag, ***** and argue over every little thing with my sis, to the point where my sis was about to leave her hubby, and come stay with me and my then fiance, (we are married now), but after she spoke to her hubby about the constant nagging she would get from his mom, while he was at work, BTW she didn't work b/c at the time they were expecting their first kid together, and she was going throuh a tough pregnancy, anyway when she told him what has been going on, he immediately got a small place for them and they moved out within the next month, they started out really small, but now they have their own home and are living happy and stress free.So my advice to you is talk to your hubby, and you guys try your best to get a small place, even if you guys have to share one bedroom for the while just to save to get a bigger home, and get the h**l out of there.You don't deserve that, and u guys need your privacy.GL 2 you all!

Answer 6

The only advice I can give you is...move out don't wait any longer...your MIL must be under terrible pressure having all you living there ,  don't be to hard on her...forget about the saving ...just save 1/2 and spend the other 1/2 on your own place.

Answer 7

If your only living in one room then why don't you go out and find an small apartment you can afford until you can do better. Why give the MIL money, plus food money and while your staying in one room???

You should do house work etc because that is respect for your MIL. What your BLI does is not up to you. There is too many in the house and its a strain on everyone. My advice is, find your family a place and move. You give your MIL $600 a month and I am sure you can find an apartment for that maybe cheaper. Do it until your husband and you can get back on your feet. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 8

move out!! And if your in the dallas area I have a car im selling for $1300.