HELP... I think my mother was hurt by something that I told her.?

Question

I love both my parents more than anyone else ! I told my mother yesterday that I will not be coming home for Thanksgiving because I am going with my boyfriend to meet his mother and she seemed very hurt and upset. She has never met him but I have been seeing him for a year. The main reason why I don't want to be at home for Thanksgiving is because I don't want to see or be around my brother-in-law. He cheated on my sister and everybody is acting like nothing happened! I cant take it! I also want to go to San Diego to see how it is, because if my guy moves back home to Cali, I want to move too. (We are in Atlanta)

More info....

My parents live in SC and have never met my boyfriend because I feel that they have always been judgmental of men that I have dated.

I have also planned and paid for a trip to Jamaica around Christmas and I am debating about not going home for that as well.

Should I talk to her about how I am feeling? What should I say?

Answer 1

Letting the wrongs of one person keep you from being a part of your family is wrong. Stop and really think about why you distance yourself from them.

Your mother has a right to be hurt by your distance and reluctance to want to be a part of them at the holiday's. You have a right to be put off with your brother-in-law but you do not have the right to hold against everyone in your family. Your sister accepted him back after his cheating. Your family has no control over her and what she decides in her life. They accept and forgive which is something you might consider.

She is your mother. Yes you should talk to her and let her know what you feel from your heart. And think about how you are going to say it and what you are going to say before you say it.

Answer 2

just  talk  to  mom

Answer 3

i think you should talk to your mom about why you don't want to come home for thanksgiving.....if you are planning on not going home for christmas at least go home between the two holidays to visit your family and take your boyfriend so that they can meet him

Answer 4

i can understand how you are feeling i have a creepy brother in law my self........but the only thing you can do is talk to your mom and tell her really what is up i think she would be more hurt if you keep giving excuses and not the truth...and with the bro in law you don't have to be around him or like him but that is your sisters choice and not yours to make and if she chooses to be with him thats her weight to bear.when ever we have family functions i just keep my distance from him and don't really say much..how is the relationship with your sister if it is a good one talk to her about it and how you feel any sibling would be upset to see that happen to their family and she should understand how you feel.noone likes to see their family hurt..so like i said before i would talk to them and be honest..sometimes the truth hurts but in the long run its better than a lie.