HELP ME! I am stuck on Twilight!!! Help!?

Question

I can't do this anymore...

I've already re-read the books 3-5 times each.

I cry whenever I think about having to die.

I wish vampires were real.

I want a love like Edward and Bella.

I just think about it 24-7.

I need help!

I need advice!

Answer 1

I AM SO WITH YOU. SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD JUST CRWL UP IN THE BOOK AND LIE IN THE WORDS FOREVER. I AM EAGER FOR ENTERNAL DAMNATION!

Answer 2

There are tons of great love stories that belong to classics [meaning books which are truly meaningful]. I'd suggest trying to read some better literature.

My favourite love story is the Idiot my Dostoevsky.

Answer 3

Do you really wish vampires were real? Out of six billion + people on the planet, with only eight Cullens (and all of them taken!) for all those people, and the rest of the vampires just feeding on humans... I wouldn't want that at all!

Edward and Bella actually have an unhealthy relationship. Heck, most of the relationships (at least the ones that involve humans) in the book are pretty unhealthy, although Edward shows lots of signs of being a future spousal abuser.

OK, so here's what to do: Put Twilight down. Understand that Meyer's vampires are pretty ridiculous (I mean, SPARKLING? Please.) and read Dracula. Then, go rent season 1 of Buffy, and watch it. Repeat with seasons 2 and 3 of Buffy, and then start watching season 1 of Angel along with season 4 of Buffy.

Now, you'll have not only something to distract you from Twilight, but some high-quality material at least (that contains MULTIPLE human-vampire romances!). As I like to put it, Buffy and Angel were the original Bella and Edward, only everything wasn't so sappy and sparkly, there was actually blood and fighting and emotions other than 'dazzling' involved.

Answer 4

er,

don't worry about it.

in a few months you'll get over it. ^^;

if not, lock the books up. xD

Answer 5

You've come to the right place. I just want to let you know that you CAN get help. Here is a twelve step program that will get you started on your path to greatness.

One

We admitted that we were powerless over Stephanie Meyer - that our lives had become unmanageable because of the crappy piece of fan fiction she calls Breaking Dawn.

Two

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves - otherwise known as The Dark Side - could restore us to sanity by explaining 'The Rob Effect' to us.

Three

We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of better authors - ones who can actually write.

Four

We made a searching and fearless inventory of our homes - ridding them of all Stephenie Meyer T-shirts, posters, jewelry and other paraphernalia - consigning them to the nearest public dump deeply buried where no children could ever find them.

Five

We admitted to The Dark Side, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs with great angst and self hatred.



Six

We were entirely ready to have Little Brown take back these disgraceful books, and we bravely returned them to the store where we bought them for a complete refund - although some of us got unfairly hit up for a 15% restocking fee.

Seven

We humbly asked The Dark Side to remove our shortcomings and the batteries from our cars should we be tempted to go see the movie when it comes out.



Eight

We made a list of all persons we had harmed during our days as Twilight Twinkies or Twitmoms, and became willing to make amends to them all-especially to our husbands who we sometimes called "Edward" in the heat of the moment when having s*x.

Nine

We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. That includes returning all items we stole from the Twilight set while stalking Rob Pattinson.

Ten

We continued to take personal inventory and when we were tempted to argue the existence of Renesmee, we took a deep breath, acknowledged that we were wrong and promptly admitted it.



Eleven

We sought through better reading material and meditation to improve our conscious contact with literature, praying that Stephanie Meyer would never again write another book, but asking for the strength and power to resist in the event that she does manage to release Midnight Sun.

Twelve

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other Twilight Twinkies and Twitmoms still suffering, to make every effort to help them to understand and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.

Dark Siders Serenity Prayer

Dark Side, grant us the serenity to forget about that revolting birth scene, the courage to deny the existance of Renesmee and 'The Rob Effect', and the wisdom to know that Stephanie Meyer is full of c**p.

Answer 6

I am the same way. I wish I was bella.

Answer 7

i am soooo in the same boat as you.

about wanting my very own edward :)

but as for bella... shes a bit spineless...

try reading harry potter i love both series and when i get tired of one i read the other for a while.

also the movies coming out this fall so that might help your craving.

Answer 8

Find another book to keep your mind of it, that's what i did.  

Answer 9

Um... get a hobby?  If that doesn't work, then seek professional help.