HELP ME PLEASE!!! IM 15 AND PREGNANT!!?

Question

I posted many questions yesterday

FIRST QUESTION i asked:

I think i'm in an abusive relationship?

My boyfriend and i have been in a relationship for a few months. He's 17 and i just turned 15. He's one of those guys who's always concerned about who i'm with and what i'm doing. But recently he's been getting very controlling and commanding. He hasn't really hit or punched me but he has grabbed my arm and the back of my neck a few times. It makes me feel uncomfortable when he does this. I know he doesn't really mean to hurt me or anything but i really wish he would stop. I've told him a few times to stop and he always says he's just kidding but sometimes i think he's not. I know this is bad but he does drink and smoke and sometimes gets out of control, yelling, telling me what to do and stuff like that. He does say he's sorry when he realizes how he was acting. A few of my friends tell me i should just break up with him but i can't, especially since i found out about a week ago i was pregnant. I haven't told anyone yet and im not sure how.

I love him to death and i know he loves me.

SECOND QUESTION i asked:

How should i tell him im pregnant?

I posted a question about an hour ago asking whether or not i was in an abusive relationship. Everyone said I was in an abusive relationship or what was going to become an abusive relationship. Im not sure what im going to do still but i have decided that i was going to tell him that i am pregnant.

Please give me advice about how i should tell him.

THIRD QUESTION i asked:

What if my mom doesn't support me?

I am grateful for all of the advice everyone has given me so far, but everyone is telling me that i should tell my parents that im pregnant. problem is I don't know my dad at all or anyone from that side of my family and my on my moms side of the family all i know is my mom, i've never heard from my grandparents or any of my aunts and uncles. Mainly what im scared of is that my mom might kick me out and if she does where would i go, im not sure how she might react but if she does react like that and kick me out what would i do, what should i do?

i was suppose to tell my mom today that i was pregnant but i couldn't, i just couldn't say it, i was nervous and scared about what she might do. i'm also scared to tell my boyfriend i'm pregnant because yesterday when i asked if i should tell him everyone was telling me i shouldn't. i'm really confused and not sure what to do. PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.

1) If your boyfriend is abusive then obviesually you need to try and get out of that relationship and hit him with child support when the baby gets here.

2) Tell your mom. Your mom loves you. I would just go up to her and say mom can we talk? I want to let you know right now that I love you and I want your support and I need your support right now. I'm Pregnant. That is how I told mine and it actually went really well.

3) Don't worry about whether she is going to kick you out. You don't need stress.

I hope this helps.

If you ever need to talk feel free to message me!!!

Answer 2

I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant and my boyfriend at the time was 19.  My mom was mad at me but she eventually got over it.  Now she is in both of my son's lives and she's one of the only people that I can count on.  About the abusive relationship... I've been there so I know exactly what you're going through.  I wouldn't be alone when you tell him that you are pregnant just in case he goes nuts.  And let him know that you aren't going to put up with his attitude and if you have to you will leave no matter what.  If you let him think that it's ok to act the way he does then he won't stop.  Remember actions speak louder than words so if you tell him you will leave him then do it and quit giving in.  They always say oh i'll never do that again i'm sorry... but it always happens again and again.  Since you are so young you might even consider adoption.  MILLIONS of couples wait to adopt everyday and could possibly give the baby a better life.

Answer 3

First, as a man, I can say this with absolute confidence: a man should NEVER physically harm a woman. NEVER EVER EVER. Not grabbing her by the arm or the neck. If you're being hurt like that, it is only going to get worse. Do NOT believe he is going to change. He won't. He's a wife-beater in training... Period. Any man who abuses a woman is a coward. He's never try that on another man because he knows he'd get the c**p kicked out of him. He does it to a woman so he can feel powerful. He's pathetic. Get out now.

Second. You should tell him you are pregnant. Even though he's an idiot, he has every legal right to know. PLUS he's financially responsible for that child. Whether he chooses to be involved in the child's life is another story.

Third. You're going to need help and support through this. Tell your mom. What she does is not anything you can control... besides, it's not like you can hide this forever. There are also lots of teen pregnancy support groups, even just google "teen pregnancy support" for your zip code.

Lastly... though it may be scary, you sound like a very intelligent girl. You are making conscious and mature decisions, and you're going to be just fine because you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Seek out friends to help you through this too.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Oh you poor, poor girl. Dear God, what have you gotten yourself into? Why aren't you having fun in school and hanging out with your friends? Why did you try to grow up too fast? My heart aches for you. But the fact of the matter is, you have to tell your mother. You HAVE to, it's the right thing to do. But before that, don't you have a friend, teacher, pastor etc anyone who can be there with you when you tell your mom? Anyone you trust? It would be easier if you had a 3rd party there supporting you when you told your mother. As far as your boyfriend, I'm sorry, but what a jerk. You do not deserve to be treated like that! And your baby does not deserve a father like that. When I was younger, I lived in an apartment above a young couple who had 2 children (they were your age when she first got pregnant). Every day I heard him beating her and when he left for work, she would take out her frustrations on her kids. Get away from him. It is going to be a long and lonely road, but you can do it. Be strong. Perhaps you should think of adoption? You need to finish your education and get a job so you can support a child someday. Good Luck, I wish I could be there with you as support when you tell your mom. God bless

Answer 5

Awwww i feel for sweetie it sounds like ur in a tough pickle and i think that you should tell ur mom ASAP no matter what because sooner or later ur gonna have to get it over and done with and if she kicks youu out y cant u go live with ur BF and its sounds like you are in a ausive relationship its not so aggresive yet but if he doesnt stop soon it can become an agressive one that would b had to get in and you need to tell ur mom and BF like NOW NOW NOW its not best in this case to wait because u need to see a doctor and stuff like that so my advice is to start looking for a job to take care of urself and oncee u tell ur bf i need to start looking for places to live maybe u can go to one of those shelters that teenager moms stay at

Good Luck and God Bless just remembber to praay about it because with God all things are possible

Answer 6

You are in a tough, tough situation. The first thing you've got to do is tell your Mom. I am a mom - my daughter is 12  years old and there is NOTHING she could ever do that would make me kick her out. I'm sure your mom feels the same way. Second of all - you need to put as much distance between you and your baby and your boyfriend as possible. He is already controlling you and getting "physical" with you - it'll only get worse. He is an abuser and you need to get away from him now!! Please take my advice and talk to your Mom. She may be angry and/or upset at first, but I'm sure she'll support you. My prayers are with you!

Answer 7

WEll i THiNK U SHOUlD JUST B HONEST WiT YOUR MOTHER B FORE SHE FiND OUT THA HARD WAY N DEN SHE WOUlDNT TRUST U ANYMORE!!bUT THEN U SHOUlD TEll YOUR MOM WHilE U GUYS BY YOURSElF SO U COULD JUST GET iT OVER WiT!!!!

bUT iF DUDE THATS 17 THA FATHER i THiNK HE WiLL b GOiNG 2 JAil FOR HAViNG s*x WiT U!!!

bUT DEN TEll HER THAT HE HiTCHU N MAD U HAVE s*x WiT HiM!!!!!!

TEll HES VERY ABUSiVE 2 U BCUZ iM 17 N i kNO HOW U FEEl bUT iF U HAVE ANYMORE QUESTiONS EMAIl MEH n LET ME kNO!!!

bUT JUS TEll HiM lIKe Im PREGNANT WiT YOUR BABY!!

WAT MORE CAN HE DO OR SAY!!!!

bUT YEA iF U HAVE ANY MORE QUESTiONS W/B N LET ME kNO BUT PLEASE B SO KiND 2 CUMM 2 MY PAGE N GiVE ME ADVice on SUM OF MY QUESTiONS 2!!!!!

TYHANX ALOT

-lEXBUBBLEZ

Answer 8

Honey, you don't need Yahoo Answers, you need a counselor.  

It does seem that you are in an abusive relationship.  While the "abuse" may not amount to much now, if it continues in this manner, I'm afraid it want be long until the does "love you to DEATH."

Secondly, you are 15 years old.  In most states the age of consent is 16.  He could be in some legal trouble, especially if your parents decide to take action.

If he's abusive now, I hate to imagine him with a child.  Sweetie, you've gotten yourself into a bad situation, now it's time to get yourself back.  While I don't condone premarital s*x or or pregnancy, you need to tell your mother.  If she is like most, she will be hurt and disappointed (possibly mad), but you are her child.  Explain the whole situation to her.  Just be open to any opinions she has.  Respect her.

If for chance your mother does "kick you out", contact your local Pregnancy Crisis Center.  

Your so young.  By no means would I ever offer you abortion as an option, but I do offer adoption.  Talk with you mother about this.  Take her with you to the Crisis center.  There both of you will be able to get the correct information on any of this.

Talk with her about your relationship with your BF.  As much as you "love" him, your life/well-being and the life/well-being of the child growing inside you should far surpass that "puppy" love.  

Get yourself some help.  Get out of the relationship.  If your mother is not supportive, look into the Crisis center or contact a guidance counselor at school or a trusted adult.

Feel free to email me if needed!!!!

  

Answer 9

seek out help!!

Answer 10

Any 17 year old guy who would get a 15 year old girl pregnant is a loser.

Ditch your guy, and explain to your mom how sorry you were and that you were so stupid and you wish you could take it back.

Answer 11

sorry if im being rude. But if your boyfriend has been abusive and there is a chance your mom wont support you if your pregnant, what made you decide it would be a good idea to have s*x with this guy?

I wish teenagers who decide to have s*x could take it more seriously.

Answer 12

It sounds like he is very controlling. Personally, I would get out of that relationship. However, you are going to need to tell your mom that you're pregnant...it will eventually become apparent and you need to have the baby's health in mind. If your mom doesn't accept it, I really have no clue what will happen. If your boyfriend is abusive, and may become violent- make sure to bring someone with you when you tell him. Good luck..with the rest of your life.

Answer 13

You need to stay away from your so called boyfriend, don't tell him you are prego, and talk to your mom!  Trust me, your mom has been there for you and will be there for you.  Also, may I suggest you put the baby up for adoption?  There are many loving families who would love to have a baby and you have your whole life ahead of you.  The last thing we need is another child in the system.  Also, once you have the baby and you are sexually active again...USE PROTECTION AND GET ON THE PILL!!!

Answer 14

to your first question-

in all reality he doesn't sound like he's good for you. if he started out being concerned with who you were with and what you were doing he started being controlling of you from that moment, its now elevating to being more physical. I'm not going to lie to you, pregnant or not you need to get out of this relationship before he starts getting bolder and actually hitting you. and how do you kmow he loves you? does he hold you close when your sad? does he respect your opinions and thoughts? you said he grabs you, that in itself shows he doesn't respect your body and you as a person.

there cannot be love if there is no respect.

second question-

personally i wouldn't tell a guy who treated me like that,that i was pregnant. but if you feel like you must, either tell him that your pregnant over the phone so you don't get hurt if he snaps or if you really want to tell him in person,(really bad idea) tell him your pregnant with other people around, this will keep you safe if he is abusive and snaps violently.

third question-

if your mum doesn't support you go to a trusted friend someone whose parents would let you stay there for a short time while you figure things out.

fourth and final question-

tell your mother that you really need her help and advice. askher not to be angry or overreact. tell her that you know its wrong and that you made a mistake, then say that you had s*x. let that sink in for a moment and then after she either calms down or makes a comment that lets you feel ok to tell her that you missed your period. say that your scared and you need her help.

Answer 15

This is a very tough situation to be in but I believe the best way to handle it would be to sit your mom down and tell her that you have something very difficult to tell her but that you are really going to need her support.  Then come right out and tell her.  She might get mad or be disappointed at first, but once the shock wears off you may be surprised at how she comes through for you and supports you.

As for whether or not to tell your boyfriend, well, technically he does have the right to know; however, abuse is abuse no matter how suttle and unfortunatley from experience I can tell you that it never gets better, it only gets worse; therefore, I wouldn't take the advise of your friends or even strangers off the internet on this one.  I would talk to your mom!  Explain the whole situation to her, how he treats you etc and then tell her that you are scared to tell him.  Maybe she will have some suggestions on how best to handle it, or perhaps she would be willing to be there with you when you told him, just in case he were to freak out on you.

Good luck hun!  

Answer 16

I know it's hard but please tell your mom first. She is the most trustworthy person in your life it sounds like. What if you tell your boyfriend and he goes into some kind of rage and hurts you? It is very important that you believe this: If he is willing to put his hands on you AT ALL in anger or frustration, he is capable of hurting you.

When you tell your mom: Sit her down and tell her you have something very important to tell her. Tell her you need her. Mom's love being needed btw :) Just tell her the truth. If she kicks you out of the house (do you really think she would do that to you?) there are places teen moms can go. Homes, dorms, shelters. There are battered womens shelters that you WOULD qualify for. Now be patient with your mom. She may react poorly at first and have her own feelings of anger, guilt, fear and failure to deal with. If she does react poorly don't freak out. Give her some time to think. She will come around and be there for you. You are her little girl and she ultimately wants the best for you. Also, I have to tell you, I think you should tell your mom how your boyfriend has been treating you. This will add to your motherly instinct to be there for you and protect you. Mom's are pretty smart ladies. Trust her, she will surprise you!  Okay?  You should add me to your contacts and let me know how things are going for you. Good luck sweetheart.