HELP! MY PARENTS MARRIAGE IS IN DANGER!?

Question

I am 11 years old. My parents have been married 12 years. They have been a wonderful Christian couple and were happy together. But my dad got a message from a guy (by email) that was supposed to go to my mom. It said "I really miss you." My dad is really hurt and so am I. How do I handle it? What should I do? This has been the worst day of my life. What is your opinion

Answer 1

I know it's very sad when something like that happens in a family, but no matter what you will still have both of your parents.  It's scary when your family changes, especially when you have no control over it.  But you should try not to worry too much because this is something that has to do with your parents' relationship.  They will always love you even if they do get a divorce.  Your family may not be the same for a long time but you will still have a family no matter what.

You should find someone outside of the situation to talk to: an aunt, a babysitter, a youth pastor: someone older who can tell you of their experiences and help you get through it.  If you can't find anyone to talk to ask your parents to let you go to counseling as it will be really helpful for you to have someone outside your family to talk to.  If you have any brothers or sisters spend a lot of time with them too as that will make you feel better.

Still treat your parents the same, since they are still good Christian people even if your mom did make a mistake or bad decision.  Eventually this will all work itself out and you will be fine.

Answer 2

baby, there's nothing you can do about this. maybe everyone is just jumping to conclusions. i'm married and have guy friends that i miss, and that doesn't mean anything is going on between us. just let your parents handle it and try not to stress over it too much. it'll work out

Answer 3

Unfortunately, this is one of those matters that has to be settled by the adults involved in it. It's not to say it's none of your business, because it is... these are your parents... that's your business!  But, the issue at hand is something you have to let them handle and work out between them. If worse comes to worse, and they talk about splitting up, you may ask if they would at least consider getting marriage/family counseling before making that decision... at least for your sake, because it means so much to you to have your parents together in your life, and not separated. I feel that every child has a right to have their say when it comes to family issues... especially ones that could tear the family apart. That would affect you greatly, so you should be able to be heard before your life gets totally disrupted and turned upside down. Parents need to realize it's not just about them when they're having problems... it's about their whole family. I'm so sorry you're going through this hurtful, scary, and disappointing time in your life. Just try to stay focused on your own life and let your parents work it out between them, but let them know it has affected you too. Most parents love their children deeply and don't want to hurt or disappoint them. But, they also tend to get too caught up in their own lives to really pay attention to the emotional needs of their children. That's why they have to be reminded, if they start getting neglectful. My heart goes out to each of you! You're in my prayers!

Answer 4

i'm sorry kid, but nothing you can do, they have to work it out themselves and if they are the good christians you say they are, they will. You can ask them to seek counseling together, ..but you need to prepare yourself, if they get divorced, so be it. You will have to accept it, so prepare yourself now. It doesnt mean they love you any less.

Answer 5

You should do nothing, this is none of your business and is above your age level.  I am not sure why you know of the email in the first place, that should have never been made your business either.  

Also, at 11, you are too young to use Y!A.  

Answer 6

I am sorry to hear that your parents are having marital problems. You must grow up a bit now and realize that it is their business, not yours. You have nothing to do with what goes on between them. It is your job to love and support them both....regardless of who did what. They both need you to be only you. Not a marriage counciler. Ok? Good luck.

Answer 7

First of all--did your dad or you get to talk to your mom about who the person is?

The guy mailing her w/only that line could mean anything from friendship wise or brotherly wise to affair wise. So don't jump into conclusions just yet!

Try to talk to her and find out what the truth is. Give her a benefit of doubt at least because she's you mom!

Try to talk to her in private gently and find out. After that you can choose to either tell to your dad or encourage ur mom to tell to ur dad and reconcile.

Take some faith in God and her and try to get the bottom of this.

Good luck!

Answer 8

For one thing, why do you know about this?  dad shouldn't have told you.  Don't worry so much about what's going to happen with your parents.  Everyone needs to be happy so your parents will either solve their problems if there are any or they will split up.  If they split up they will still love you and your life will be even better than it is now.  Everything will be fine.  Go watch tv.