HELP! Major parenting advice needed for 4-yr-old....?

Question

Hello everyone. I need some MAJOR help. My 4-yr-old son is a thief! He steals everything he can get his hands on. He raids the fridge and steals expensive foods and eats them in his room. He steals shampoo, soaps, body washes, climbs up on the cabinets and steals cleaners, etc. I have no clue what to do. Our refigerator is the standard kind and I have yet to find a way to put a lock on it. If it was a side by side fridge, I could atleast lock it. I have taken all stepping stools/ladders out so he can not climb, but he finds a way. He does all of this in a blink of an eye when I am dealing with our other son or doing something with the dog. He has to be kept under 100% supervision, or he rebels and takes things. He has also taken wedding rings!! Is this normal? Have any of you ever dealt with something like this? Any good ideas for locking my fridge/cabinets? I am just at wits end! Thanks so much!

Answer 1

Thats not normal I don't think. My daughter lies everyone once in a while about making a mess but not like that. She steals her sister's things but not that bad. That is not normal what so ever. I would have someone talk to him, you know get help. There is locks for cabinets, I don't know what there called but...

Answer 2

Kleptomania is a serious mental illness.  Get him help.  Take him to a psychiatrist.  NOT a psychologist.

Answer 3

Well my daughter (4) has access to the fridge, why would you mind that too much, also he may need more attention, since it looks like you have your hands full, try getting rid of the dog, and getting back to the source of the problem, theres always a reason. But it looks like he just needs to be watched after as well he should.

Answer 4

Sounds like he is looking for attention.  Start doing some things with him one on one.  Take him out on a "date", play catch, or just read with him.  He is getting attention when he "steals", but it is the wrong kind of attention.  Start focusing on everything good that he does.

Create a snack drawer in the fridge.  Fill it with veggies, fruits, yogurts, little bottles of water, etc..  Allow him to eat anything he wants from that drawer whenever he wants without asking.  My kids love their snack drawer and I know that they are eating healthy food!  At first it was a free for all!  They ate everything in the drawer right away.  Now that the novelty has worn off, they only eat the snacks when they truly need something to hold them over until the next meal.

All of your cleaning supplies should be locked away or put up high.  If you have to put them in your bedroom closet and lock the door, do so.  He is old enough to understand that they are poison and that if he gets into them then he will get a time out.

Again, your real concern is the lack of positive attention.  Focus on him in a positive manner and you should she his behavior improve!

Answer 5

start stealing his stuff. show him what it feels like when people take your things without asking.

Answer 6

It's really hard when you teach your children about stealing to include things in your own house.  Stealing is taking things that don't belong to you, but when you aren't really taking them anywhere, I can see how a kid may think it's not stealing.  Besides, a 4 yr old, while they can have a simple conversation and respond to basic requests, does not exactly process things like a full grown adult.

It sounds more like a hoarding tendency.  Where does he put the things that he takes?  Under his bed, in a closet?  Or does he scatter them through the house?  Obviously he eats the foods but what does he do with the shampoo?  This may be a clue as to why he's doing these things.  But also try to ask him why.  Instead of telling him he's stealing, ask him where those things go.  "Wow that body wash doesn't belong in the dog's bed!  Hmm... is there a spot in the house that would make this body wash happy?"  Four year olds still think inanimate objects have feelings, so I would start by telling him that things are sad when we don't put them in their happy spots where they belong.  This also teaches children to pick up toys and put dirty laundry in hampers as an added bonus.  

While trying this at home, I'd also run the situation by your pediatrician and see what he/she thinks.  I'm hesitant to say anything is "wrong" with a 4 yr old.  They're sometimes wild and unpredictable and they do weird things.  I taught kindergarten for awhile and believe me I have seen it all (I teach 5th now and I STILL see it all but that's beside the point, haha).  Ask your doctor but don't lose heart... it's very likely that this could be a phase that you can fix without any long term effects.

Answer 7

Here are some locks to try for your fridge:

It is the 3rd one in from the left:

http://www.safety1st.com/product/search....

http://www.safety1st.com/product/detail....

Answer 8

This does not sound normal. Some stealing and lying at this age is normal but he seems a bit out of control. Do you think he is doing it to get your attention? He may not fully understand why stealing is wrong, I would sit down with him and have a talk about why stealing is wrong and all that. This does not sound normal I would even consider talking to a  pediatrician.

Answer 9

Could you put like a long chain all the way around your fridge and then padlock it at the handle?  And keep the key around your neck?  Wot a little sod - you might have to play a few mean tricks on him to teach him a lesson...  O yes, also, dunno if he has a t.v. or c.d. player or playstation in his room - but if he does - if he steals off you, then take something of HIS!!!   He`ll soon get the message!