HELP!!!! My 7 year old asked me.....?

Question

She asked me what a L*****n is....My first question to her was, where did you hear that word....she then told me that the kids at school where calling each other that name.

Trying to stay on her level, I explained to her that a L*****n is a women that likes other women. Then she said, "what's worng with that", I told her nothing but we will discuss this topic later. Well, it's 3 days later and I still don't know how to explain this topic to her. I have nothing against lesbians, to each his/her own but how do you explain this fact of life to a 2nd grader?

Answer 1

well i probably tell her to ask me when she is learning body parts or when she turns 16

Answer 2

Oh this one is difficult.  I would sit her down and say well most of the times a man and a woman will fall in love and start dating.  But every once in a while a girl might fall in love with another girl or a boy fall in love with a boy.  Make sure she understands this is a love and attraction thing.  I wouldn't even go to the s*x thing...but kids are growing up so fast you will have to deal with that soon enough.  Just tell her that the kids at school are using it to be a bad word, but they aren't as bright as her and now she understands that it's not a bad thing.  Just something different!

Answer 3

Has she asked you again?....Let her bring it up and be ready to answer the question @ her level of understanding...for all you know...she forgot she asked in the first place...I think explaining love between "2 PEOPLE" without "labels" should be a start....

Answer 4

We just told my nephew that instead of a boyfriend, some women have a girlfriend and instead of a girlfriend some women have a boyfriend...they cannot really understand..but they know that boyfriends and girlfriends kiss....they know it is more special than friends...you have to be honest.

Answer 5

First off, KUDOS to Clato91 and the answer that was given! I think you took the right road in what you said to her. It is NOT a concept that a 2nd grader would fully comprehend. Asking her where she heard it, was a very good stroke! A lot of things being taught to our very young children, I find to be highly questionable. And that includes some of the topics they choose to talk about among themselves (they had to get those topics from somewhere, right? Remember the things we used to talk about?) I had to notify the school of my granddaughter, about a book that was in the library, that blatantly showed a nude male and female, complete with body parts, and it was put on the "extra credit" reading list! What you really did was to do what all us parents need to do..and that is get involved with the children that come from our loins, and the people and institutions that have the responsibility to help us teach them. Sometimes, their agenda, is NOT our agenda!

Answer 6

Be honest h**l her about the "FACTS OF LIFE" I believe that the biggest mistakes that parents are making is shrugging off questions like that. I have tow 8 year old girls and they know more about sexuality then most teenagers do I feel that if they know about it and under stand it that they will more then likely to not act on those feelings believe it or not now a days children are being exposed to those issues as early as the 2nd and 3rd grades ask her what she wants to know about is and then answer honestly and tell her your always there to answer her questions about it.

Answer 7

A parent from my  day care had her 5th grade son called this.  He asked her what it was. (I know most kids know by now but he didn't)  She told him just that.  A L*****n is when a woman loves another woman.  Just the simpler the better.  They don't need to know all the details or what it really is.

It's seems like you did a good job of explaining it to her for her age, but she needs to know that even though theres nothing wrong with it kids try to hurt each other with name calling.  Like, four eyes (nothing wrong with wearing glasses right), fat, skinning, red head....she's old enough to know that some kids are bullies.

I tell my kids (the day care) that kids who call names to hurt are kids who don't like themselves very much or are mad and want to hurt someone and make them feel bad about themselves.

Good Luck---Kids see and hear so much these days. All we can be is honest.  God loves everyone even when he disapproves of what they do.

Answer 8

You simply say that its a woman that LOVES women and not men.

I work with 7 year olds and they all understand the concept of love to a degree!

Answer 9

I wouldn't go any further with your explanations until it comes up again. Your explanation must have satisfied her enough as it was.

Answer 10

You handled yourself wonderfully.  My six year old asked me the same question a few weeks ago.  I responded just as you did and said we would discuss it in greater detail another time.  Another time for her came about 2 days later.  i then explained that there are some things in the world that are not easy to understand and that i didn't think she was old enough to understand everything completely but that I would talk to her when she was older and I thought she could understand it.    She said okay and she hasn't asked again.  But I did explain that sometimes kids hear something on TV or they hear someone else say it and they just repeat it.They might not even know what they are saying and that if she heard something that she did not know what it was, not to repeat it and come ask me questions when she gets home.  I try to always be honest with her.  Simply telling her that she is not old enough for certain chats usually works.  I'm not perfect but I hope it helps.  Good Luck.

Answer 11

7 year olds minds are not traps.. she probably forgot all about that so don't worry about it.. unless she asks again just say you don't use that word in your household and its right up there with other no=no words. She is too young for any other explanation.. use your parenting skills!

Answer 12

That is very hard, but when i was in 2nd grade i knew all the swear words and some other things too, since my cousins told my sister, and then my sister told me.

What you need to do, is take her out to get some icecream, and start by asking, "What do you think a L*****n is?" If she answers, not really understanding, tell her that a L*****n is a women who likes other women. If she doesn't get that, tell her that instead of a mommy liking a daddy, the mommy likes another mommy.

Hopefully, she'll understand this, but after the icecream and the conversation, tell her that everyone has there own beliefs of what they like.

Don't bring the subject up, and if she does, you'll have to talk to the mothers of the kids who were saying L*****n to eachother. I hope everything goes well!

Answer 13

She is definately not ready for the deep stuff yet.  Don't go there.  She has probably forgotten about it but if she persists, I would just keep saying what you're saying.  If you aren't against it, you could even say, "You know how mommy and daddy love each other and are together, well, some men and some women choose to be with the same s*x".  Trust me, this is a hard subject for everyone to deal with.  My children and I are Catholic so they preach WRONG WRONG WRONG but I am trying to teach them to be accepting of everyone so they get mixed messages.  It's not easy ;)

Answer 14

First of all, good job for not freaking out in front of your daughter.  Staying calm and making no big deal out of it will be something she will take into her thinking and help make her a more open-minded individual.  Second, my son is 8 and I have had to tackle this myself over the last year, along with other things I just can't believe he hears, but oh well.  I suggest that you not bring it up to her, let her bring it up to you again.  If it is really something that she wants to know, she will recall you said you would explain more later and she will point out that it's "later".  When she does remind you of this planned discussion, give her some information.  Tell her that some girls, when they grow up and fall in love, don't love boys, they love girls, and the same for some boys.  It's not a bad thing, it's how they feel, and no ones feelings are ever wrong.  My next suggestion is that you notify your daughters school, especially her teacher, the principal and the school counselor, that this word is being thrown around to other students in an openly insulting manner.  The schools hire people who are very well qualified and equipped to talk to students (not that we parents aren't).  The schools need to make sure that there is no negative impact on any other students.  The one thing I always tell my children that really helps them digest any answers I give them to these wonderful-talks-of-life questions is that when they get a littel older, they will understand a little better and that they don't really need to worry about it until then unless they have a question.  To them, a little older is the same a "soon" and most kids, I have found in many other situations, are very content to wait that seemingly small amount of time, because I have given them respect and someting to look forward to - not so much THAT but the idea of getting older and knowing more, growing up and all that comes with it.  But, definitely contact the school.  Don't give names, other than your daughters, obviously, but DO let them know what has happened, and even if it has happened more than once.  Good luck!

Answer 15

I think how you explained it is fine.  I remember being asked the "g*y" question by my son a couple of years ago as well (he's almost 9 now)  I just told him that sometimes boys like boys or girls like girls.  He didn't really "get it" at the time, I mean kids are hearing this at such a young age, they don't "like" ppl that way yet.  When she asks you "what's wrong with that?"  I would just explain to her that nothing is wrong with that.  You can tell her that some ppl don't like it due to the way they were raised but you don't believe there is anything wrong with it.  Keep it simple. She'll understand when she gets older.

Answer 16

I would just tell her that its a women who likes other women instead of men.

Answer 17

I would say something like this.  "You know how adults fall in love with each other, and usually a woman and man get married?  Well sometimes two women fall in love with each other or two men fall in love with each other.  There is nothing wrong with it, but the kids at school should not be calling each other names or making fun of others."

Answer 18

I think I would Just leave it at that. Unless she asks another questoin

Answer 19

Try defining "relationship" to your daughter.

Then move on to, explaining that a L*****n is a woman who enjoy's having relationships with other women. Instead of men.

You don't need to go into explicit detail, but explain that when two people love each other they choose to have relationships, spend time with each other, date...etc.

If the father figure is in the picture (sorry I don't know your personal story here) then explain that mommy and daddy have a relationship.

good luck.