HELP!? My manager verbally attacked me when I gave my resignation. What now? ?

Question

I will try to make this short.

I gave my two week resignation today. My manager was NOT happy with me and walked out of my office telling me to put it in writing. She didn't respond to me when I called her back to explain I had a letter already to go. She left the office early ( that was planned )

I got a call about 1/2 hour later from her when she said she was sorry about the about her behavior. She then asked me if I would consider staying a month as this was customary for management. She also then asked me when I got the job offer. I told her on Friday. She said to me " oh that was when you were having oral surgery?" ( That is honest to god what I was having done ) She also said, " I know your husband is working part time now". What do you need the extra money for? I couldn't answer her! I was floored.

I tried to explain that I have been told that this company often will escort you out of the office upon resignation and that I was expecting this that is why I gave a 2 week notice.

She told me that THIS office never does that and if you want to leave today you can.

I told her I had things to complete before my resignation date and would like to do so. She said Honey, we can talk in the morning about it....

I personally feel so traumatized that I can't complete my time I promised. I am in tears and emotionally a wreck.

Advice?

Answer 1

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

Answer 2

Slap her in the face, Call her a *****, leave work

Answer 3

The implication she made was that you were lying about your time to have it covered under sick leave.  That is pretty rude.  Bring in your receipt from the dentist.  Smile and ask that a copy go in your file.  Keep the original with you.  

She knows she blew it.    But she backed off.  Big time or she openly lied to you.  She says there is no escort from the office when a person resigns.  They do do with when people get fired or laid off.  But you gave notice.  She has no legal reason to do that.    You may have hurt feelings but no damage has been done to your references, Yet.  Remember this.  Go in in the morning.  Do your job.  When you get time, contact her and ask her what further things you and she need to discuss.   This will throw her .

What you want from her now is good references.  

Hope this advice isn't too late.  

Answer 4

I say look at this as a growing experience.  Yes it was wrong of her to verbally attack you but on a personal level would you feel a sense of accomplishment and pride knowing that given the reaction you did the right thing and left you job on your terms and in good order for the next person?  The easy thing to do is have a knee jerk reaction, like your boss did, and walk out.  The hard thing to do is stick it out, but often times the most rewarding things are not what is easy but what is uncomfortable.

I say you talk to her tomorrow and tell her that you are sorry you can't give her more than two weeks but you would like to finish up your projects and/or get things in order to make this transition as easy as possible for everyone.  

Answer 5

your superior is most probably upset to see you go because you've been doing a real good job. most people tend to act angry to hide their resentfulness.

Answer 6

Do not stay longer than the two weeks, especially in light of her reaction to your resignation.     Two weeks is typical,   I've never heard of staying for 4 weeks.    

Let her cool down before you talk about it again.  You do not owe her more details of the specifics of the offer or your family's finances.    Just firmly, but nicely, tell her you've decided to move along.  No other information is required.

Answer 7

you haven't done anything wrong. i personally would call my doctor and get a note from the Friday you missed so that she doesn't convince herself that you didn't have surgery.

don't let her stop you from doing the right thing. she is just a manager. there is probably a supervisor above her. if you are truly bothered report it to a supervisor or human resources. otherwise, show up to work with your head held high. do not let her know that she is making you feel bad. do not kiss her behind. do you work and go home. if she tries to talk with her just say, "Suzie, I have enjoyed my time here at Company X, but I have to do what is best for myself and my family. I hope you are able to fill my position quickly."

Good Luck. SD

Answer 8

Wow, her response shows you made the right decision, doesn't it?

Tell her on Monday that you don't appreciate her implying that you were not at the oral surgeon and you'd be happy to bring her the x-rays or a note if she wants.  (It's obvious that you interviewed earlier but they made their decision on Friday; this woman is a twit.)  Tell her it was not appropriate for her to bring up personal information about you that you had NEVER shared with her.  Tell her you think you can complete your job responsibly in the 2 weeks and that's why you gave 2 weeks notice.  

The thing about her wanting a month is that she doesn't want to have to hurry to hire a replacement, but that isn't your problem.  Do the best you can, and go to your new job with a clean conscience.  If she didn't come at you with incredibly personal attacks, you could do your job in the 2 weeks.  And be sure to document everything she said and did (and will do) because it may come up, and this woman is a lousy manager and an even lousier human being.  Don't worry about her--she's a mess.  

If she keeps up the 'month' thing you can say you would have considered staying another 2 weeks until the personal attack, nasty insinuations, and hearing about your husband, so now you don't think you could do any more than 2 weeks.  You can also say that you're surprised that she would want you another two weeks, given her very personal attack/response.  Tell her you were expecting her to be sorry you were going, not totally inappropriate with you, but you know YOU can be professional for the next two weeks!!  

You sound like someone who will be hard to replace, and if this woman had an ounce of class, that's what she'd say.  

You can do ANYTHING for 2 weeks.  And if she keeps this up, go to Human Resources or HER boss.  No emotional terrorism!!!

Now--if you want to have a little more icewater in your veins--give her a letter that you copy to Human Resources, or her manager, or someone--detailing her vicious comments and saying that in light of her response, you could not stay another two weeks as she asked, and you will do your best to leave your job in good shape for the next person.  Actually this is what I'd prefer, rather than talking to her, but I leave it up to you.  

Congratulations on the new job, by the way :-)   good for you!  

Answer 9

That was totally unprofessional of her. I don't blame you for not wanting to work there. If what you have to complete in the next two weeks is not that important, just leave.

Answer 10

She is suspicious, you are over reacting.  She is probably over reacting.  Leaving a company is often traumatic.  The escorting business is only done when the person is in a position to do damage financially and is then usually only done when the person is fired for cause (or allowed to resign if they don't make a stink.)  

Settle down, make a list of what you need done, ignore the woman who thinks like a man ("your husband works, why do you need this job?" is a cliche of business, still true)

Answer 11

Above all, stay professional.  Finish out the 2 weeks, get everything organized and hand over your projects to your boss with a location of all your electronic files. Clean off all personal files, pics, etc. Sometimes HR will walk someone out prior to the 2 weeks being up, if so I think they still have to pay you for those 2 weeks.  They normally do this when you may have access to confidential information or they feel you are a threat to company info.  Remember, someday you may need a reference and this will be your next reference after the new job you are taking. It is customary to have an exit interview with HR, do not burn any bridges.  It is NONE of your bosses business where you are going or your personal financial status with your husband. Do NOT work any more than your 2 weeks notice, remember you have a new adventure to start :)  

I had a similar circumstance happen to me.  I was floored by her reaction!  I kept my cool, bit my tongue on things I really wanted to say to her.  Take the high road.  

When the subject of end date comes up tomorrow, tell her you would like to leave her in good shape with your projects and will be sticking with the customary 2 week notice.

Then get out....and enjoy your new job :)

Her reaction should only confirm you are making the right decision.  No one needs to be treated this way.  

Best of luck to you!

Answer 12

This woman was taken aback and there is no excuse for her rudeness but she at least did realize that she went too far and did apologize. I am sure they are now short staffed and that made her let off steam. Don't take it personally . you can stay until your other job starts. She said they won't walk you off the premises now that you handed in your resignation. Tell her then that your husband suffers from medical problems and even if you earn the amount you earn now, there is no guarantee he can keep it up to work part time and you need to think of the future. If they can't offer you more money and another company does, then you have every right to accept and look for a better job opportunity and it's none of her business what your husband does. That is quite apart. In order to survive today and lead a reasonably normal live one needs to have 2 people working and earning the best amount of money they can get.. and only a fool would not accept a better paid job. She is upset that they now have to look for a replacement for you quickly but she is only human.. I guess she is floored also and she wants to talk to you in person and quietly when you get to work. so accept that offer to talk to her in a polite professional way and I hope she will do the same and she will accept your resignation and maybe you can stay until the end.  They probably would appreciate it.. if they need to find a replacement to take over for you first and maybe you can even give her some tips.. the person taking over from you.. so no need to feel all down. This was an unfortunate way she put things to you and she probably was overwhelmed with the situation as you were an important part of the company and the '[backbone of the company, she is worried to find someone as qualified at such a short notice.  I am sure tomorrow she will weigh her words in the balance as now she is prepared and will deal with this in a professional manner... xx Please relax, don't get into a panic now. There is no need, this woman has no right to hold you to this job if you get better payment elsewhere and nobody will kick you out of there until you are ready to go.. not within the next 2 weeks.. I know how hard it is to struggle financially. My husband is a computer engineer but he only has a contract job which will run out in September and we have a mortgage to pay.. so that causes sleepless nights and your husband has to take it easier for the sake of his health. so don't get sick emotionally now. All will be clearer tomorrow when you talk professionally and both of you politely to each other. Your husbands part time job is none of their business anyhow...You will be able to complete your time if that is 2 weeks from now. You will be allowed to stay on for another 2 weeks after you handed in your resignation. They are in dire need of good employees so they won't let you go before that time has elapsed. She acted way out of order but in the end we are all human beings and have shortcomings. if she apologizes and acts professional from now on I would let this matter rest and work professionally until the end of the 2 weeks.

Answer 13

I agree with Ramos117, but it all reality, she did insult you and that was her first mistake. When you go in tomorrow have your letter ready (if you haven't given it to her already) and be prepared to explain to her how you feel. That he reaction was uncalled for and it generally upset you.

That is very unprofessional and conduct like that is not to be respected.

Answer 14

Two letters.. HR! Report this. it is very unprofessional.  

Answer 15

You sound like a very honest person and you also seem like you're a responsible individual. Your wanting to stay on long enough to close out what accounts you have open was very respectable. I think that you should stay long enough to professionally deal with the clientele relationship you have and let them know that you have accepted a new position elsewhere and that you will no longer be at this company. Normally when you mention things like this in passing, those customers (who like doing business with you) often times will follow you to your new employment...given that you are in the same line of work. As for your manager, you dealt with her this long, you can handle it for the 2 weeks. But if it is just too unbearable, simply complete what you currently have to finish and say goodbye to your coworkers. Let management know that you will now leave and that your work is completed. Tell the manager you will not be back and just go. Good luck to you in your new job. Oh and probably for future references...I would not list this company as a reference. The manager will obviously have a problem with your exit and clearly would not be helpful upon a reference attempt. Just keep that in mind. Take care.

Answer 16

she really does not want to lose you and is so upset she showed bad behavior try to stick it out as promised

Answer 17

you could try and press charges but you would probably be better off just getting away , far away as possible and never talk to that thing again.

Answer 18

I think your boss might be upset that you're leaving because (from what I've read) you're a hard-working and dedicated employee. She's probably giving you a hard time so that you will give up on leaving the company you are currently working for. You're definitely a commited person; If you promise to do something, you do it. If completing your time is a priority to you, then you need to let your boss know.  Personally I think your boss just has to accept that you're leaving and get over it. You've been handling this situation in the nicest of ways while your boss is acting like a stubborn child. She just really needs to move on. Don't worry it'll work out for you in the end.

Answer 19

Punch her in the gut, she will listen after that.