HELP PLEASE. I NEED GOOOD ADVICE- My Boyfrrends mother. im askin again cause i need more info on dealing with

Question

okay, usually every other weekend i stay over my boyfriends house(he also my bff so we ain all kiss kiss hug hugg) so before i had a problem with going over there cause i felt uncomfortable about praying- they’re Pentecostal how ever u spell it- their first language is Spanish so they really get into it- now that that problem is fix( they tried converting me & all ) i stay in his room while they pray- but every time im there- his mother very judgmental- im not a very social person- i like to stick to myself- i don’t go happy 24-7 of my life skipping around with a smile doesn’t mean i ain happy just my demeanor- so his mom always saying things about me- it bothers me a lot on how judgmental she is bout me- she says im depressed or im pale or i need to be happy etc etc- she doesn’t say it very mean- she says it i guess in a nice way but its still very judgmental about it & i don’t like it at all- i feel she knows nothing of me & shouldn’t be that way towards me & should mind her business

Answer 1

Never assume.  Don't look for enemies; instead, find a way to make friends.

In their culture, people tend to be very outspoken and involved in each other's lives.  That isn't what you're used to, but you'll have to find a way to coexist with it if you want to be a part of his life.  Try letting your guard down a little, and reaching out to his family.  

For example, either don't visit while they are praying, or join in by passively observing.  You don't have to pray with them, but just politely smile and nod while they enjoy it.  Pretend you're watching a child perform for you - it would hurt their feelings if you just got up and walked out of the room because you don't like the music, so you just smile and nod encouragingly.

If the mother remarks on how "depressed" or "unhappy" you are, calmly smile and tell her, "I am happy, especially when I'm with your son.  My culture just isn't as expressive as yours - hopefully we can both learn to respect that."  Remember, she is probably sincerely concerned about you.

Don't push her away - you are a guest in her home, after all, and you're dating her son.  So you ARE her business, to some extent, and she is yours.  So instead of saying "you don't understand me, go away", try an approach of "come here and let's try to understand each other better."  She can't reach out to you and understand you if you're emotionally or physically hiding in a back room.

Answer 2

talk to ur biyfrnd about it? if he doesn't responds u just dump him.